Whitechapel - Books You Can't Read

Books You Can't Read

muse hick — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:02:37 -0800

For me it is Jane Austen -- I hate Pride and Prejudice and thinking as a "gothic" novel Northanger Abbey might be better I found I hated that too and cannot get through the bloody thing. I can read sentences five times and they just don't hook me at all.

I have heard that Ayn Rand has a similar effect on some people. And if I say that my favourite thing about Dean Koontz was him getting run over in that great Family Guy episode then you get what I'm saying.

So what books can't you even get through?

Books You Can't Read

Paul Duffield — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:10:21 -0800

The Trial, although I love it (and Kafka), I swear there's some divine power stopping me from finishing it. I'll get so far, and then won't be able to read for a long while, and by the time I come back to it, I want to re-read the whole thing. That's happened about 3 times, no joke.

Books You Can't Read

joe.distort — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:12:53 -0800

flowers for algernon. it made me miserable, being forced to read it as a "gifted" child who was forced to go to a different class for hours at a time away from all of my peers. did the accelerated teacher not grasp the irony that a fourth/fifth grader did about the situation?????

Books You Can't Read

liquidcow — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:17:40 -0800

I also failed to get to the end of The Trial, partly because (if I remember correctly) he either doesn't use quote marks for people speaking, or doesn't start a new line, or both.

I started reading The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, got about halfway, took a break because it was so difficult, came back to it, and gave up. Anyone who's attempted it will surely know what I mean. It is written in such a strange style, and such old language, that it is near impenetrable. It's also about 600 pages long. I kept checking chapter summaries on cliffnotes or some similar site to see if I was understanding it, and I frequently found that I wasn't.

Books You Can't Read

synthsapien — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:22:20 -0800

Adam Roberts - Stone. I've read a few hard sci-fi and even enjoyed another of his novels (The Snow), but I could never get very far into this. No idea why and now my copy seems to have vanished...

Books You Can't Read

Adlai — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:27:26 -0800

I'm with you musehick, I despise Jane Austen. I had to read Emma for A-level and it was the worst thing I've had to encounter. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne is also up there.

Books You Can't Read

WaxPoetic — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:34:52 -0800

only book i decided not to finish ever was confederacy of dunces. yeesh.

oh - well, there was that one by fitzgerald - not gatsby, some other one that made me hate all psychotherapists with every marxist bone in my body (before i gave all that up to be poet)

and if i'd had the option (if it hadn't been for class) i would not have read The Jungle. social awareness can kiss my ass, Sinclair writes like an idiot writing for morons.

Books You Can't Read

Jay Kay — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:45:59 -0800

I have heard that Ayn Rand has a similar effect on some people.

I think her biggest problem was that she could get really long-winded. She's a pretty good writer and pulls you into a story, but I still don't see why John Galt needed to monologue for EIGHTY FUCKING PAGES. I'd recommend my personal favorite of hers, Anthem. It's a lot shorter (considered a novella) and has an interesting voice for most of the piece.

For me, I couldn't get through Kafka's The Transformation. It might be because the teacher who assigned it to me thought I was wierd and said that I would love it because it was wierd. Well, fuck that, it's slow as hell and nothing really happened.

This one might cause some to take out the pitchforks and torches, but...The Lord of the Rings. I'm not sure if this counts since I did eventually read all of them, but it was mostly because I'm a stubborn bastard. Fellowship espicially annoyed me with most of it being the Hobbits with Tom fucking Bombardi. By about the 13534957395th time that fucker sang I threw the book out the window, screaming that Tom Bombardi should be drawn and quartered and they should tell me what the fuck happened to Gandalf.

Books You Can't Read

liquidcow — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:49:46 -0800

I was once very ill in hospital for about six months. Various people gave me presents, obviously realising that I would be in hospital for some time and might like some entertainment, which is all very thoughtful and good. However, my uncle for some reason decided to give me Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson, a big hard-sci-fi novel detailing the complex scientific and social aspects of what might realistically happen if we decided to colonise Mars. Funnily enough, I never read it.

Books You Can't Read

Greg SBB! — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:27:43 -0800

I've got midway through On The Road three times...

Books You Can't Read

DaveNant — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:32:52 -0800

School ruined Jane Austen for me, but then I re-read Pride & Prejudice in my 20s and now it is one of my top 5. Most uncool, clearly. But school did that with literature for me. Trying to rationalise Catch 22 for instance... fucksake.

Anyway, I can't entertain the notion of reading anything by Dan Brown.

Books You Can't Read

Dracko — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:34:34 -0800

Kenji Siratori's Blood Electric is utterly unreadable, and I do mean that literally.

Books You Can't Read

boyanachronism — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:35:37 -0800

It took me ages to get to the end of Catcher in the Rye....mainly because it just really bored me.

Ive re-read it a few times now...and still can not see what everyone sees in it. Its a boring story told in a annoying way.

Books You Can't Read

Dracko — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:39:09 -0800

Oh God, Ayn Rand.

I was made to read both The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged on a dare and promptly proceeded to burn both of them after having done so.

I wouldn't wish them on the worst Stalinist.

Books You Can't Read

pi8you — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:50:49 -0800

Rachel Carson's Silent Spring - One of the few books I've ever not finished and the only one I refuse to touch again, chapter after chapter after chapter of Man does X to environment, animal Y dies in horridly large numbers, not even Al Gore's intro is near enough to save it.

I've also never made it through my copy of The Illiad, though I attribute that more to the fact that its a prose edition rather than something more sensible, and my interest in Greek Mythology peaked back in elementary school so I haven't revisited it in quite a while.

Books You Can't Read

orwellseyes — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:50:55 -0800

The Dune Prequels by Brian Herbert and Kevin Anderson.

I actually threw the one I was reading out the window of my college classroom in the middle of a snowstorm.

It needed to go.

Books You Can't Read

ScottS — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:03:17 -0800

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell . I got about 200 pages into it, but it's like pulling teeth and I eventually just gave up.

And I will probably be lynched for saying this, but Kavalier & Clay is another one that I just cannot get into.

Books You Can't Read

Ted — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:05:29 -0800

Gormenghast; like Mr Duffield, it's not so much that I hated it as got interrupted a couple of times, and have never finished it.

I ought to pick it up again one of these years.

Books You Can't Read

bschory — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:15:01 -0800

The only book I ever couldn't bring myself to finish reading: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte... it's been so many years I can't remember what about it in particular made me hate it so. What I do recall is that a teacher said to me once that you should stick through the first about 50 pages of any book, and by then you can usually tell how the book is going to be. I got to page 51, dropped the book, went out a bought the Sparknotes (I was reading it for a class), and have never looked back.

I actually made it through the Scarlet Letter, but it was the only book I ever through across the room in disgust after finishing.

As to Ayn Rand, well, I'll keep my opinions about her "philosophy" mostly to myself. I have to give her one thing, she's consistent in her beliefs. Otherwise, whenever I tell someone I have a libertarian leaning, I have to make sure to add "and not in the Ayn Rand libertarian sense". I had to read Anthem for a class. It was short, relatively engaging, somewhat interesting, and fairly well written. I can't say I loved it or hated it. Atlas Shrugged on the other hand, *shudders*, well, my good friend and her sister had it right when, once the finished it, they used it to start a bonfire and roast marshmallows.

Books You Can't Read

curb — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:15:57 -0800

I started reading The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, got about halfway, took a break because it was so difficult, came back to it, and gave up. Anyone who's attempted it will surely know what I mean. It is written in such a strange style, and such old language, that it is near impenetrable. It's also about 600 pages long. I kept checking chapter summaries on cliffnotes or some similar site to see if I was understanding it, and I frequently found that I wasn't.

I'm hearing that. For every tangent or preamble I enjoyed, there was another one that left me scratching my head. I might try just dipping in to random sections of text and seeing if it improves any.

Books You Can't Read

brittanica — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:19:25 -0800

i am so going to get kicked out of here for saying this, but...

neuromancer- william gibson.

i've tried three times, but the farthest i've made it is half-way. something about it confuses me, and i don't get confused when i read that often. i just feel like i've been thrown into the universe of the book without any explanation at all.

i do plan on trying some of his other stuff though; maybe it's just a fluke.

Books You Can't Read

liquidcow — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:33:09 -0800

Lord of the Rings I did make it through, but it was a task. When I saw the first film there was much talk of 'they left out Tom Bombadil!'. When I saw the last film there was a lot of 'I can't believe they left out The Scourging of the Shire!'. Then I read the books, and it was immediately obvious why they had done both. I get the impression that people who complained about those things being left out did so mainly just to show that they had read the books before the films came out. Seriously, I mean, the whole book is an excercise in how long it is possible to drag out a story with useless side-stories and overlong endings (case in point, when the Hobbit's ponies run away, we get told their life story after that point). Tom Bombadil is annoying, I can see why they left him out. The Scourging of the Shire... I mean, when you've followed the characters on an epic journey to cast the most powerful object in existence into a pit of molten evil, it's a bit crap to then follow them as they go home to encounter a band of mildly troublesome 'ruffians'.

Dan Brown is bad, but I had no trouble finishing The Da Vinci Code. I was looking for the phrase 'the famous man looked at the red cup', which isn't there, but there were plenty of other fine examples of bad writing. The English character was pretty excruciating though.

I think the thing that sums up Ayn Rand for me is that in Dirty Dancing, a copy of The Fountainhead is used as shorthand for 'this character is a very nasty person'. From what I've read about Ayn Rand I'm inclined to agree.

Books You Can't Read

Steve — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:33:33 -0800

I think the book I had the most trouble with was The Last of the Mohicans. I read it in high school for a book report, and I remember frequently picking it up having no clue what happened the last time I tried reading it.

I also agree with the Dune Prequels. I stopped halfway into the first one and never looked back.

Books You Can't Read

liquidcow — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:37:14 -0800

@heil_brittanica

I actually know what you mean about Neuromancer. The first time I attempted it I gave up, I tried again years later and got through it, but it was still pretty difficult. You're right, it's like you're just thrown into it with no explanation. And it's not just the beginning of the book, there'll be scenes where suddenly everyone is on a ship or somewhere else and you feel like you've missed something completely. I would like to read it again some time though.

Books You Can't Read

Osmosis — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:38:16 -0800

@ ScottS - Strange & Norrell starts veerry slow, I'll grant you, but it really picks up.

@ Greg SBB - I'm glad someone else couldn't read On the Road! I tried reading it while actually on the road and even that couldn't persuade me to finish it ..

Books You Can't Read

Searn — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:44:01 -0800

Well, let's see.

How about A Farewell to Arms by Hemingway.

Always hated the man's writing, got about half way through it, rented the movie (Was for a class and am still ashamed of it to this day) and found that to be utterly intolerable as well.

The Scarlet Letter had the same effect on me as well, but I knew well enough to stay clear of the film and winged the test on the material.

Books You Can't Read

COMTE — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:44:21 -0800

"Gravity's Rainbow" is the only book I've ever started and not been able to finish. I've read plenty of BAD books that I didn't WANT to finish (and in fact didn't), but that's the only one I've simply been UNABLE to get all the way through.

It remains on my bedside table, beneath a pile of other books yet-to-be-read, taunting me.

Someday Pynchon, I'll beat you. Someday...

Books You Can't Read

alwayscrashing — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:49:35 -0800

I managed On The Road fine but I've had three attempts at Desolation Angels so far.

I think it is more a state of mind thing than anything with me, I can't read Kerouac unless I am in the mood to go along with him.

I also cannot physically read The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice, despite enjoying the earlier novels. For some reason when I came to that one my eyes just tried to dig through my frontal lobe to escape. Rather annoying as I had already bought about four books ahead in the series by this point.

Another one I have trouble with is some old Art History texts I have to read for my university course. Giovanni Belori and William Hogarth are two of the main offenders. I have to follow with my finger and read outloud to myself to force my brain to concentrate and take it in.

Books You Can't Read

tmofee — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:53:25 -0800

I was the same when I first read Neuromancer, the second time around I got it more. On The Road, I gave up half way once and tried again later. I remember starting again and thinking, "think of it like a journal". Still a bit disappointed when I finished, and I dont know if I'll ever read it again though.

Books You Can't Read

vidsaw — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:10:25 -0800

I could never get very far into Confederacy of Dunces without getting angry and impatient.

I had a similar problem with the first half of Fellowship of the Rings. And Tom Bambidil. Christ. Save me, please. However other portions of the books I find completely stunning.

Here's one that might upset some people. Tried three times to read The Golden Compass. I just couldn't get into it. It's some lovely writing, and it's an interesting world.

And I just didn't care at all about any of it.

It's an emotional response, we can't always control these things.

Books You Can't Read

RJBarker — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:11:39 -0800

At least once a year I get it into my head I should read 'Ulysses' by James Joyce. I have never managed to get past page nine.

Books You Can't Read

radicaldoubt — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:02:43 -0800

Dune. I just couldn't do it.

Books You Can't Read

Rootfireember — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:35:18 -0800

I keep on working on Moby Dick, putting it down for months before reading a few pages and dropping it again. I seem to make most progress when I imagine it as a homo-erotic tale of love on the high seas, what with all the 'mates', but even that amusement doesn't last long.

Books You Can't Read

vg — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:58:38 -0800

Moby Dick is a hard one for me, too. And I can't stand anything by any of the Bronte sisters. Wuthering Heights made me want to claw my damn eyes out.

I tried Jonathan Nasem's The World On Blood a few months back, tossed it, and tried again. Gave up a few weeks later.

I'll try again in a few months, I'm sure. Maybe even finish it eventually.

Books You Can't Read

Corey Waits — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:16:13 -0800

I choked my way through Jonathan Lethem's Fortress of Solitude and wished I hadn't bothered, but otherwise a few books I'm struggling with:

Schismatrix Plus - A few chapters in and it just hasn't hooked me yet. I don't know what the universe is all about yet and I don't know how many more pages I'm going to have to read before I find out...

Infinite Jest - Parts of it are fucking brilliant, but on the whole it's written too obliquely for me to stick with. It would also help if the Endnotes were footnotes instead as I hate having to constantly flick between where I'm at and the back of the book, and usually lose whatever flow I'd managed to get up to that point.

Underworld (Don De Lilo) - It's just a big ass book. Probably got a quarter of the way through it and put it down so I could read something else a little easier and then get back to it... Still haven't gotten back to it.

Books You Can't Read

MagicSword! — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:29:22 -0800

In the past I couldn't get through on the road too, but I tried it about 12 years ago so I should give it another bash.

At the moment I find I can get through anything, because I'm living in Japan and I've got to be reading something and beggars can't be choosers. So basically I'm often inheriting books that I don't have much interest in. I just burned through Lee Child's The Visitor which was an unimaginably wretched book but I still finished it, next up: The Elegant Universe.

Oh also I couldn't finish Dianetics. I tried on a whim because we had a copy of mysterious provenance lying around, but it was just too hokey. Kinda like one of my friends who couldn't finish The Bible because it was too preachy.

Books You Can't Read

AtomicSloth — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:59:03 -0800

The Bourne Identity.. Not so much that I couldnt get through it, it just had EXACTLY THE SAME plot as the two other Robert Ludlum books I'd read so I just gave up a quarter in.

I very nearly finished A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man. Like a 30 pages left to read but I just can't make myself. I couldnt even tell you what happens in it now..

Also I tried to read the Ghost In The Shell manga.. Had no idea what was going on there.

Oh and the first (or maybe it was a prequal) Foundation book my Asimov, but I blame that on trying to read it off the computer.

Books You Can't Read

sybil.dysobedience — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:08:37 -0800

Shortest book ever I can't seem to finish:

Atom by Steve Aylett

It's less than 150 pages, but I keep putting it down. I loved his other books Slaughtermatic and Shamanspace, but my attention seems to wander with this one.

Books You Can't Read

omer333 — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:11:46 -0800

Those of you that can't get through Neuromancer I feel your pain, I can't get through Waste Lands (y'know, Tark Tower 3). I stopped caring about Stephen KIng, so no big loss to me.

One of these days I'll finally get around to Moby Dick.

Books You Can't Read

muse hick — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:24:10 -0800

i got through wastelands and enjoyed it -- it was the next one that derailed me: Wizard & Glass. The one after that -- Wolves Of The Calla is a slight return to form but is basically The Magnificent 7 recast. I am kind of jammed on that one and I know that something of that is due to the fact that there is one thing I am dreading about the last book and that is a certain someone appearing in it. I ate up the first 3 but the shadow being cast by the last book is a real block.

Books You Can't Read

Alan Tyson — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:28:23 -0800

Liquidcow: You really should give Red Mars a try. Ideally during the winter, when you can wrap up in a blanket with a cup of cocoa. It's just that good.

And Britannica, I think you'll like Gibson's Bridge books a lot more than the Sprawl books. There's much less of that "toss-you-in-with-no-life-vest" writing, though I must say, I rather enjoyed that in Neuromancer, Count Zero, and Mona Lisa Overdrive.

I think the one book I could never read, no matter how much I really, really reeeealllly wanted to, was Stranger in a Strange Land. I love it, from what I've read. But I always stop about 150 pages into it, and by the time I pick it up again, I have to re-read...up until around page 150. I don't get it.

Books You Can't Read

MidgetRadio — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:39:26 -0800

Infinite Jest - Parts of it are fucking brilliant, but on the whole it's written too obliquely for me to stick with. It would also help if the Endnotes were footnotes instead as I hate having to constantly flick between where I'm at and the back of the book, and usually lose whatever flow I'd managed to get up to that point.

Corey, I love that book. I've actually read it twice. Have you tried using two bookmarks? It's a huge help.

It's taken me three tries to get halfway through Gravity's Rainbow. I actually stopped the third time because I was too grossed-out by it, which I didn't think could ever happen. Just got through the General/Dominatrix poo-eating stuff and a chapter later here's a whore getting gang-fucked. Someday...

I second Underworld. The first sixty pages are probably some of the best writing in English literature. But I got about halfway through that book before I becoming so sick of the artist character that I had to stop. I can't remember her name, just that I completely hate her.

Books You Can't Read

will_butler — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:07:07 -0800

I love On the Road, but I read about 50 pages of Kerouac's Big Sur, and was infuriated. I've never tried again. Between anecdotes about the necessity of keeping a rag and bucket in one's outhouse with which to scrub one's asshole after taking a shit, he layers on this completely manipulative, portentous, foreboding nonsense to keep you reading through the inanity. "How was I to know that in only two weeks, I would have gone mad?" I don't give a damn, Kerouac. Let's get to the fucking madness, already. It has to be more interesting than the garbage with which you're frontloading your book.

Let's see, what else... I do hate Jane Austen and can't finish anything she's ever written. I've never tried Ayn Rand, and I have mixed feelings about her stuff. On the one hand, I identify as Libertarian, and most Libertarians I've met have an enormous hard-on for her work. On the other hand, I've heard that her stuff is incredibly didactic and that she can't write characters. I'll eventually give her a shot, if only to be able to speak about her from experience.

Will

Books You Can't Read

Corey Waits — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:14:01 -0800

MidgetRadio
Corey, I love that book. I've actually read it twice. Have you tried using two bookmarks? It's a huge help.

Yeah, I tried the two bookmarks and it helped a bit, but it's not even the physical act of turning back and forth. It's the fact that I have to constantly interrupt the flow of the story because of the whim of the author.
David Foster Wallace is the only author I've read that seems to want to make the reader really work for the story (though admittedly there were bits of brilliance that almost made the rest of it worth working for).

I know too many people that rave about it for me to disregard it completely, so I will read it all one day...

Books You Can't Read

Cyman — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:28:06 -0800

A Clockwork Orange.
The Holy Bible.
Dianetics.

I just can't make sense of any of them.
Any Ken Follett stuff is a struggle too, but only because it's so rich and great. If you really know your English history it's probably easier, but I needed a hefty stack of reference books to help me get through Pillars of the Earth and World Without End.

Books You Can't Read

Dracko — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:39:12 -0800

What's troubling you with A Clockwork Orange?

Books You Can't Read

muse hick — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:02:19 -0800

i am also wondering if there are any english teachers out there who can seriously point out to me the "subtle humour" in austen -- what scale is it registering on? is there some kind of superhuman power that allows you to detect subtle humour that is invisible to the human mind?

oh, just thought of another: Typewriter in the Sky & Fear by L Ron Hubbard. I felt like slapping him at regular intervals and the frustration of not being able to made me abandon the book. I did however verbally slap the twat that leant it to me.

Books You Can't Read

stsparky — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:06:56 -0800

Ulysses - I was stuck on page 29 forever.

Books You Can't Read

Ben — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:23:04 -0800

@MagicSword! : I feel your pain. My exile led me to finish Gravity's Rainbow, Don Quixote and Sheherazade. I think I got a little masochistic with the last one.

Now if I can only get farther than a quarter of a way through Midnight's Children, I'll be golden.

Books You Can't Read

Cyman — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 00:10:57 -0800

Clockwork Orange- The language. I mean, I finished it, but it wasn't easy.

Books You Can't Read

tmofee — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:30:34 -0800

I've never finished Anansi Boys. I don't know what it is, maybe cause I started reading it straight after American Gods re-read number whatever. Different tones, I dont know...

Books You Can't Read

RJBarker — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 04:25:35 -0800

@STSParky. That's 20 pages better than me. You're a hero in my book.

Books You Can't Read

hmobius — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 05:36:13 -0800

Don Quixote.
Got given this to read by my school teacher when i was 9, possibly because I had read everything in the library by that point and they wanted to shut me up so she brought it in herself. Read it then i think, but can't even look at it now because of it. Remember being bored out of my mind.

If that alternate constitution in CLV made you read it, DQ tells me to back away slowly. Nothing to read here

Books You Can't Read

BMTMTC — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 06:55:52 -0800

I've read Gravity's Rainbow.
I've read Dhalgren by Samuel Delany.
I've even managed to dry heave my way through 120 Days of Sodom.

the only book I've never been able to get through.....
My Life by Bill Clinton. I actually like the ex-Pres but this book sucked floppy donkey anus.

Books You Can't Read

Doctor Pockets — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 08:16:18 -0800

@sybil.dysobedience

I never finished Atom either - probably because its just not a good book. Most of Aylett's other stuff is clever, but that one is just bad.

Books You Can't Read

Jon Wake — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 08:52:45 -0800

I never got through Lord of the Rings, either. In fact, for years I'd decry it the way a only a teenager can.

Then, on one of my habitual massive roadtrips, I bought The Two Towers on tape, read by, I think, John Rhys Davies, and immediately got it. It's not a book that's meant to be read, it's meant to be narrated.

I had to read Travels With Charlie for my advanced grade school English. I could never get more than twenty pages into it. In the end I just made up the answers on the test and called it a wash.

Books You Can't Read

RJBarker — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 08:54:35 -0800

Someone should do a No Singing version of Lord of the Rings, I'm sure it would be a great improvement.

Books You Can't Read

johnplatt — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:07:05 -0800

Crash, by J.G. Ballard. I want to read it, but it's just a wee bit too extreme for me.

Books You Can't Read

oneiros — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:42:38 -0800

Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville. Got about 136 pages into it and my brain begged for mercy. Don't get me wrong -- it's quite good (so far), but it's so dense. There's almost too much of everything going on. I really need to get back to that book and finish it.

Books You Can't Read

pico — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:51:12 -0800

@ tmofee

I found Anansi Boys extremely readable. It probably was coming right off American Gods that drove you away.

Unreadables:
Emma by Jane Austen
100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare (what a shite play)
Microserfs by Douglas Coupland

Books You Can't Read

Doctor Pockets — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:54:51 -0800

@pico

100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

aww. I love that one.

Books You Can't Read

stsparky — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:20:25 -0800

Something about Coupland's Microserfs rubs me the wrong way. I had expected to find clever phrases in it like his early "disposable Swedish furniture" and it came up short. So it had a bookmark in it and remains untouched for years now.

Books You Can't Read

alwayscrashing — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:27:54 -0800

100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I've given up telling people to read that, I loved it and read it in about two days straight but no one I've suggested it to seems to be able to get into it.

Books You Can't Read

olivertwisted — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:52:47 -0800

I always had a problem with both On the Road and The Catcher in the Rye. It's a bit weird considering I love writers like Burrough, Selby Jr and Bukowski.

I used to hate Jane Austen but I've warmed to her as I've older. The same goes with the Bronte sisters.

I never made it all the way through The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man either. I really enjoyed Dubliners but that one left me cold.

I'm fighting a long running battle with Les Miserables. One day it will happen.

It's always hard to predict what I'll struggle with. I devoured Moby Dick and Gormenghast with relish but took several attempts to get through Use of Weapons by Iain M. Banks. Even with writers I like it ain't always straightforward. I raved about For Whom the Bell Tolls, A Moveable Feast and To Have and Have Not but I've never finished A Farewell To Arms. Funny how these things work.

I'm not even going to contemplate Ayn Rand.

Books You Can't Read

JP Carpenter — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:58:52 -0800

Iain Banks is one of my favourite writers by a long shot, but I couldn't get through 'Song of Stone', just didn't click with me at all. Gormenghast and Moby Dick I've read multiple times... I did try and read 120 Days of Sodom once and found it so ludicrous that I couldn't get through it.

Books You Can't Read

Pete Martin — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:51:20 -0800

Funny how On The Road has been mentioned a few times. I swear, its a combination of the old book smell and terrible print on my copy that three pages EXACTLY makes me fall asleep.

It's literary NiQuil.

And Mill on the Floss. It would take a threat of arse eels to make me read that again. Never before have I wanted every character to die.

Books You Can't Read

Cyman — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:07:09 -0800

I really do love 100 Years of Solitude and On The Road, and strangely I find myself agreeing with RJ and Jon Wake. I loved all Tolkien's books way more when I was like... 10. It just bugs me reading it that he'll list 5-10 adjectives before saying what the thing is he's talking about. It makes for a lot of fun reading to kids, though, and I guess that's a great thing. And I like to read out loud, so maybe that explains why I love reading Shakespeare and Kerouac. Logically, I should then LOVE A Clockwork Orange... I don't know what it was about that book that made it so hard on me.

Books You Can't Read

the letter k — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:26:34 -0800

i had the same problem with moby dick, but after hearing laurie anderson's take on it, i read it all the time.

i found the entire dark tower series to be totally obnoxious. especially wizard and glass. so many of my friends love this book (a few fellows i know are in a dark tower tribute band call the lobstrocities) i forced myself to read them. i kept waiting for stephen king to pull some amazing metaphor out of his ass. i thought the end of the series was bullshit. the comics are pretty cool though.

i'm trying to read odd john by olaf stapledon. it's really good, and i'm really enjoying it, but i can't seem to read more than three chapters in a sitting. mostly, because i got a bunch of new comics at wondercon. woe is me.

Books You Can't Read

Steve — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:37:06 -0800

@oneiros
Perdido Street Station took me a long time to finish despite enjoying it. It's thick writing. The first several pages simply describe something (I think a watering can) falling out of a window. I tried another one of his books set in the same world, but couldn't get through it. Maybe I should give it another go now that some time has passed.

Books You Can't Read

animatormike — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:26:13 -0800

My personal shame is that I have never made it through Naked Lunch. I've read several books of Burroughs essays and enjoyed them quite a bit. It's not that I dislike Naked Lunch, I just get to a point in the middle, set it down with every intention of picking it back up, and never do. Strange, since it's high on the list of influences of just about all my favorite writers.

Books You Can't Read

DaveNant — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:52:24 -0800

@JonCarpenter - funny, 'Song of Stone' was the only Iain Banks book I actually really liked, and I did wade through it but, fuck me, how depressing was that?

Books You Can't Read

sacredchao — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:53:38 -0800

@STSParky. That's 20 pages better than me. You're a hero in my book.

I read the whole thing. What does that make me?

I'm rather surprised by a lot of these. I loved Kavalier & Clay, Confederacy of Dunces, The Trial, Clockwork Orange, Portrait of the Artist...basically everything on here so far, except Jane Austen (who I've never read) and The Scarlett Letter (which is probably one of the worst books ever).

I haven't been able to get through Cryptonomicon, as it's really really long, but I plan to. I also haven't gotten through War & Peace, or Blood & Guts in Highschool by Kathy Acker.

When it first came out, I read the first Dune prequel, but I was 14 or so at the time. I decided to try to get through them all recently, and began the audiobook of the first in the series. I stopped listening about half way through. At one point, the Corinno heir's assassin friend was described as "being very fond of subtlety." Though the character was, it was obvious the authors were not.

The only books I really really wish I hadn't read are The Fountainhead and The English Patient. English Patient especially - pretentious garbage from start to finish. The movie was infinitely better - for which I credit Minghella and Walter Murch.

Books You Can't Read

JP Carpenter — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:57:14 -0800

@JonCarpenter - funny, 'Song of Stone' was the only Iain Banks book I actually really liked, and I did wade through it but, fuck me, how depressing was that?

So relentlessly depressing I only made it halfway through, and now it's in the big pile of books to flog on Amazon. I think it turned me off as he's normally very sharp and very funny and this was just grey.

Books You Can't Read

lanewilliams — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:01:50 -0800

Ulysses, you can actually READ the Gaebler edition. All others are impossible.

Um, also along these lines, if there is anybody that has ever finished a single De Sade novel, point me at them. They don't really exist, do they?

Ayn Rand... my favorite quote of hers went something like: "We should tear down all the rain forests and turn them into cardboard boxes so at least then they would be useful."

She's great if your nineteen, idealistic, and still certain that the world is ultimately a good place. Otherwise, to hell with that.

Books You Can't Read

sacredchao — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:03:56 -0800

Um, also along these lines, if there is anybody that has ever finished a single De Sade novel, point me at them. They don't really exist, do they?

I have a new life goal - 120 Days of Sodom, or bust.

Also, what is this Gaebler edition you speak of?

Also - Ulysses for Dummies.

Books You Can't Read

WaxPoetic — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:31:21 -0800

someone was reading Les Miserables, but stuck - I've read it twice, probably because the first time I read it I was 16 and in Lurve with all things French, and once I made it through the Battle of Waterloo - what a slog - everything became okay and I could argue with Hugo and yell out loud at him and it didn't matter. he is dead. also, i blame him for my obsession with thing urbans - spaces, specifically. i don't recommend it to people. like moby dick - something you have to come to on your own or as a school requirement.

I tried On the Road many times, finally listened to it, read by Matt Dillon - and now have no desire to ever read another word of Kerouac's again.

so glad to be here - so glad it wasn't just me couldn't see the draw of catcher in the rye - i think that's one that may have an age limit - sort of like you may have to be a certain age to read Don Quixote, beyond a certain age, Catcher just won't matter any more.

Books You Can't Read

Osmosis — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:50:23 -0800

@ JonCarpenter, DaveNant

Did either of you ever try Feersum Endjinn? Looking at other people throwing up Clockwork Orange and Ulysses, I remembered Endjinn as one book that I was desperately interested in but literally could not read. After a while vernacular (Irvine Welsh et al) usually clicks in my brain and I can just read it, but this one ... nothing.

Books You Can't Read

DaveNant — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:03:02 -0800

@Osmosis

No, I actually haven't tackled any of Banks' 'M.' books. Am under constant pressure to do so, tho, from a friend. Which reminds me...

Clifford Simak's 'The Goblin Reservation' - I thought it was ridiculous, but this aforementioned friend assures me that it's a great example of science-fiction of its period.

I also feel, after much soul searching, that I must add my weight to the anti-Tom Bombadil sentiment. It was a subject of much discussion over a few pints, once, how it would have been much more interesting had the Nazgul, or the Dark Lord himself, gone round to his house and given him a good kicking. I'd love to have seen the merry rhymes he'd spout then.

Books You Can't Read

RJBarker — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:16:57 -0800

@STSParky. That's 20 pages better than me. You're a hero in my book.

I read the whole thing. What does that make me?

Either saintly or mildly insane. I'm not sure. I have enormous respect for your commitment though. I have to admit that my reasons for wanting to read Ulysses are quite puerile. I keep meeting people who seem intent on lecturing me about it once they find out I'm interested in buks and ritin. They tend to do it in a particularly patronising manner and I'm sure most of them haven't read it either. I'm only persevering cos I want to catch them out.

I adore M banks but have to admit I found Feersum Endjinn infuriating to read too.

Books You Can't Read

ANMorgan — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:26:11 -0800

I haven't tried in a long time, but I bet I couldn't read a George Eliot novel again. As she is around the only famous person ever to come from my home town of Nuneaton, Warwickshire (Others being director Ken Loach, which is far cooler I'm sure you'll agree, and Larry Grayson, who was a very pleasant man who would always say good morning) we were forced into studying Silas Marner, Felix Holt and the rest at school. I have no idea how any of those books actually reads, so badly were they taught to us, and find the idea of picking up one again so distasteful my eyes are watering thinking about it. So sorry George, you might be fucking outstanding for all I know, but local history fetishists and unmotivated teachers have made sure I'll never find out.

Books You Can't Read

Jay Kay — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 16:27:41 -0800

Ayn Rand... my favorite quote of hers went something like: "We should tear down all the rain forests and turn them into cardboard boxes so at least then they would be useful."

She's great if your nineteen, idealistic, and still certain that the world is ultimately a good place. Otherwise, to hell with that.

Yeah, some of her comments are...off the wall. But the core of her philosophy, the idea of individualism being key for a stable society makes sense to me. Then again, I am 19 and somewhat idealistic, so...

Books You Can't Read

vg — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:54:19 -0800

Oh yeah, The Bourne Ultimatum is another one. I read Supremacy first, and enjoyed it. Tried Identity a little while later, found it slow but enjoyable. Got to Ultimatum and ditched it after the first twenty pages, when nothing even remotely engaging happened.

And Stephen King's shorts are great, but his novels usually tend to bore me.

Books You Can't Read

johnjones — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:18:05 -0800

Golden Compass: I couldn't get into this one, which is wierd, because I read and liked The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass.

Lord of the Rings: I can read parts of this, but not the whole thing. I'll re-visit the battle of Minas-Tirinth, the journey through Moria and other cool bits, but I can't endure Tom-fucking-Bombastic to save my soul.

Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series: The first four-six books in this series kicked ass, but the later ones just killed the joy for me. And now reading the early ones is like looking at pictures of a lovely classmate who turned into a disease-ridden crackwhore and died drowning in bukkake.

Books You Can't Read

Bexx B.S. — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:31:29 -0800

kill me now.. but I just can't read Gaiman. I've tried.. and tried hard. I love the crazy ass coot.. but can't get through the fucking books. And I'm a HUGE fantasy fan.

Harry fucking Potter. - read the 1st 3 books.. but it was like a chore. I think mebe because *I* work in a bookstore - and everyone was all.. HAVE YOU READ IT?!? HAVE YOU READ IT?!?!? - no - get offa my case already! - again I love fantasy.. love kids books.. blarg!

Inkheart & Inkspell - both kids books.. had been told YOU NEED to READ THESE... attempted.. and couldn't do it.

Dan Brown can suck it in a big way..

I heart both Austin and the Brontes though!! (wow sounds like a band)

Books You Can't Read

Necros — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:09:36 -0800

I haven't been able to get through several of the must read books:

Frankenstein- the voice Shelly writes in just stops me dead...not a great fan of the Victorians I guess
On the Road- just couldn't get into it really
Ulysses- I really want to read it, but it is so much, I have made it in like around 100 pages and just been stopped cold

Books You Can't Read

tmofee — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:33:01 -0800

A long long time ago I liked the Deep Space Nine Trek series, so I thought I'd get the Relaunch books to see how well they continue the stories.

Geez, nothing has changed. Why make one good book when we can stretch it out in two? What cameos from other series can we include? Probably the most cliched stories? Check.

At the moment Nog is hating on the Jem Hadar that's on the station because of Odo. How long until he realises how prejudice he's being? Another ancient Bajoran prophecy? Check. What the hell? Quark's falling in love with Ro Laren?

This is painful, but it's Trek books. I shoulda expected it.

Books You Can't Read

JShelton — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 00:34:35 -0800

Henry Goddamn James-Portrait of a Lady...Jesus fucking christ on a rubber crutch. My favorite quote (by whom I am unsure) is that any given sentence by Henry James is as awkward as an elephant trying to pick up a pea with its trunk.
Marcel Proust-Swans Way. I'm all for bed ridden, opiate induced stream of conciousness, but for fucks sake hows about some punctuation every once in a while.
Nathanial Hawthorne-The Scarlet Letter. I've always felt that the first sentence of a book should, I don't know, grab you as opposed to meandering for three pages.

Books You Can't Read

liquidcow — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 02:00:30 -0800

Wow, there's a lot of hating on The Scarlet Letter. I was planning on reading it some time...

George Eliot is, I think, one of the best authors ever, but making school pupils study her is massively wrong.

Books You Can't Read

Forked Tongue — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 02:26:10 -0800

For me, I couldn't get through Kafka's The Transformation. It might be because the teacher who assigned it to me thought I was wierd and said that I would love it because it was wierd. Well, fuck that, it's slow as hell and nothing really happened.

Huh. I actually just finished that when I was at work today and thought it was fantastic. Different strokes, I guess. Of course, afterwards I had to listen to "Yakety Sax" on the MP3 player twice to psych myself up when I clocked back in. There was a story earlier in the collection, one of the unfinished ones, that I couldn't finish, though... it was too jarring trying to keep up with the story when entire pages of the manuscript were missing.

I can only think of a couple of books I flat out couldn't continue reading. One was the first of Chris Claremont's Willow sequels that I picked up as a teenager. It made my eyes hurt. Couldn't get past page 50.

Another, and I don't even remember the title, was a gift from a friend who bought it because she thought I'd like it. It was one of those precocious-teenager-too-smart-for-his-age-causing-trouble coming-of-age books. It was complete shit... precious, completely in love with itself and agonizingly smarmy. Couldn't make it past the third chapter. The friend and I don't talk anymore. I blame the book.

Books You Can't Read

Chris M Ferguson — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 02:32:08 -0800

I hated Snow Crash. Clever but boring. The thing I hate most about sci-fi and fantasy is that, most authors think they can ditch the meaty character stuff and just ramble on and on about how cool their little world(s) that they created is. Talking about all the cute little inventions and ugh... How can anybody read that crap?

I love sci-fi, just most of it is shite. But I can also say the same about most novelists too, doesn't matter what genre they're in.

Books You Can't Read

Brent Wilcox — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:06:06 -0800

I have a copy of Finnegan's Wake that I open at random every five or six years years... for about 10 minutes. But misplaced my copy of Ulysses about a decade ago after having barely cracked it open. I've read Gravity's Rainbow something like five times, but the first time was a dead end about a third through, and the second time a year or so later was a slog... after that it got easy. While others in college were carrying around Atlas Shrugged to show how "intellectual" they were, I was carrying that. Eventually I read it.

I never made it all the way through The Recognitions by William Gaddis - but I enjoyed the half I read. Maybe someday I'll try again.

I can't read William S. Burroughs. I've tried. I can't figure out why he stops me cold. But the only way I can get through any of it is to imagine his voice while I read. The only time I ever really enjoyed his stuff was hearing him read it - his dry, gravelly drawl was amazing in itself.

I'd rather not read Clive Barker. He's got interesting ideas he could have developed in half the time (perhaps he's paid by the word). China Mieville mops the floor with him.

Song Of The Stone"is the only Banks book I haven't been able to finish. Maybe that's why it was on the discount table when I bought it. But I like most everything else if his.

Books You Can't Read

ReverendJoe — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:18:17 -0800

I could never get through Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I started it up a few times, but could never finish it. I've also never read Lord of the Rings, the singing put me off it completely. Infinite Jest overwhelmed me, and I had to try Foucault's Pendulum a couple of times before I got through. Now it's one of my favorites.

Books You Can't Read

DaveNant — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:42:02 -0800

Oh oh, someone's mentioned Harry Potter. I can't finish them when they get inordinately thick. Why the hell did J K Rowling have to increase her manuscripts' lengths exponentially, when actually arse all happens? After the third book, it got ridiculous, and I absolutely totally refuse to read the Deathly Hallows at all. I also started to understand why people went over to Voldemort's side - presumably to get away from the irritating, self-satisfied, elitist good wizards.

@angeldye: If you love Jane Austen, try Emma Tenant's Pemberley for a book that is similar to having your intestines pulled out and ironed inch by inch. How on earth this woman thought she could write a sequel to Pride & Prejudice, and how the Jane Austen Society saw fit to endorse it, is a mystery. Chronic, chronic, chronic. It actually makes me angry.

Books You Can't Read

sacredchao — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:48:18 -0800

Either saintly or mildly insane. I'm not sure. I have enormous respect for your commitment though. I have to admit that my reasons for wanting to read Ulysses are quite puerile. I keep meeting people who seem intent on lecturing me about it once they find out I'm interested in buks and ritin. They tend to do it in a particularly patronising manner and I'm sure most of them haven't read it either. I'm only persevering cos I want to catch them out.

That's as good a reason as any to read it, I think. I actually hadn't realized that there was this huge literati wankfest over one's ability to read it, until after I'd read it.

have a copy of Finnegan's Wake that I open at random every five or six years years... for about 10 minutes

Haha. Me too, sort of. I got it for christmas a few years back. I've read about rivers running past adam and eve and environs several times, but not much else. I will someday.

But, then again, I've read S.P. Somtow's Riverrun Trilogy. Do I really need to read Finnegan's Wake now?

I need to get on the Eco and Pynchon bandwagons. I've read one each of their works (Name of the Rose and Crying of Lot 49, respectively), but I haven't had time to slog through any of their other stuff yet. I'd grab them off audible, but their good stuff is all abridged. I almost bought Foucault's Pendulum before I realized that 7 hours was just too short for an Eco novel.

Books You Can't Read

olivertwisted — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:14:18 -0800

Various people have muttered about Sade. When I was young, foolish and even more bored than I am now I read everything that is currently in print. This involved multiple versions of Juliette and Justine and a massive collection of his prison correspondence to his wife. 120 Days of Sodom was something of a chore. I find everything about that book interesting except actually reading it. I'm fascinated by the weird structure, the influence of his surroundings, the obsession with numbers and order that pervades it. The final result is bizarre and tedious in equal measure. Passolini attempted to film it as Salo which, artistically speaking, is a much better treatment of the concept.

I've also read a great a deal of David Icke. I clearly have a weakness for nutters that run on at the mouth.

I tried to read Peter Ackroyd's biography of London but failed miserably. I can't decide whether I'm too stupid to basically get what he's trying to do or whether it is actually a load of pretentious old toss.

Books You Can't Read

roque — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:16:05 -0800

up until recently, my list included Lord of the Rings, Wuthering Heights, and Lord Foul's Bane. finally made my way through all three of those.

currently it's Dune. I just... I know it's supposed to be brilliant/groundbreaking/whatever, and I LOVE Kyle MacLachlan's guitar solo when he's riding the worm in the Lynch movie, but I just can't do it. and when I see the sequels I'll also never read, like today in the library, I have a sinking feeling in my heart.

Books You Can't Read

jona — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:39:24 -0800

Agree with most about 120 days of Sodom, I read it in hospital whilst recovering from malaria and found it a slog and repetative. Much preferred Justine.

I can't finish Ballard's Kingdom Come. I just run out of steam and give up.

Books You Can't Read

RJBarker — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:05:35 -0800

I picked up the first DragonLance Chronicles by Weiss and Hickman as it said on it "something to read after the 'Ring books''" and it was only £0.50p. Dear God I was robbed. I have never come across anything so terrible. 'And then they went to a village and in the village was evil and they fought the evil and the ranger said 'the evil is dead' and the dwarf said 'I would like a drink' and they had a drink and they laughed*".

Horrid.

*Maybe a slight exaggeration, but only slight.

Books You Can't Read

Will Couper — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:13:17 -0800

I've also read a great a deal of David Icke. I clearly have a weakness for nutters that run on at the mouth.

I've read one David Icke book 'The Biggest Secret', it's barmy as all hell, but entertaining and absorbing. He does actually show a sense of humour which makes me think he might be one of the best and most dedicated comedians ever.

I have 'Feersum Endjinn' waiting for me. I've only read a couple of Iain M Banks books, but I enjoyed them both.

To wade in on the Tom Bombadil thing: what was the point? I skipped most of the singing bits in 'The Lord of the Rings' books.

The only story I've never been able to get through is 'The Unparalleled Adventure of Hans Pfall', dear me it was duuuuull. I have read the more famous stories and some less so, but that one, no, couldn't do it.

An author I've needed a couple of goes and reading has been Mary Higgins Clarke, took me three attempts to get through both 'A Stranger is Watching' and 'Still Watch'. Wasn't worth it, in the end. Drivel.

Will

Books You Can't Read

olivertwisted — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:26:18 -0800

@ RJBarker

I think I read pretty much everything with the Dragonlance logo on it when I was 12-14. It's a source of tremendous shame to me and I tend to cringe internally whenever I see anything with Weiss and Hickman's name on it. When I was a teenager there was pretty much no such thing as a fantasy novel so bad I couldn't read it.

I'd like to think I'd find Weiss and Hickman unreadable these days. I find Shaun Hutson pretty much impossible to read nowadays and I used to devour his terrible books with every sign of enjoyment.

Books You Can't Read

Wilf — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:36:22 -0800

For me it's Shogun by James Clavell. Nothing wrong with the book per se, and when I have a crack at it I always enjoy it. The problem is with my memory. The dialogue in that book starts out as just having a few japanese phrases, along with a translation. As you progress, the japanese becomes more and more prevalant, to the point where nearly all conversations are in japanese, and he assumes you can remember the translations. Unfortunatley for me, I always get distracted and/or drunk, and end up not picking it up for a while. This leads to me having no clue whatsoever what the dialogue is about, so I give up.

Next time I try it, I'm keeping a notepad by me, and writing down every translation!

Books You Can't Read

Leandro Damasceno — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 05:46:28 -0800

There's this old big (huge) brazilian writer named Machado de Assis. He's among the top 3 of any list of the top 3 brazilian writers of all time. No ecxeption! Many put him among James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, Leon Tolstói and what not.

I can't stand his work. It's just awful to me. Garbage. Undiluted shit.

And now I'm gonna pray for no brazilian fan to read this or there will be a price for my head in two seconds...

Books You Can't Read

liquidcow — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 06:46:27 -0800

@Sacredchao

Have you seen S.P.Somtow's movie that he made, The Laughing Dead? It's hilariously bad.

Whoever mentioned Foucault's Pendulum, I'm reading that now, not finding it too bad. Name of the Rose was pretty heavy going though.

Just remembered another one, Black Dogs by Iain McEwan. Much as I like him usually, both me and my girlfriend just can't get anywhere with that one.

Books You Can't Read

magatsu — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:07:24 -0800

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by Austen... could never stand the ardent trees...

To this day, I have yet to finish anything by Virginia Woolf, and I plan to keep it that way.

I keep telling myself that if I master HTML i'll be able to read Kenji Siratori's BLOOD ELECTRIC, but somehow, I doubt it. Every few years I take another look, and... go to cry for a bit.

LORD OF THE RINGS... 50 pages about a mountain...

Books You Can't Read

sacredchao — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:12:24 -0800

Have you seen S.P.Somtow's movie that he made, The Laughing Dead? It's hilariously bad.

No, I'll have to keep an eye out. My wife loves his stuff, so if I can find it, we'll definitely watch it.

Books You Can't Read

Radio Saturday — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:22:52 -0800

For some reason, I am absolutely unable to actually finish Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake. It's not that I don't want to; it's just that I keep trying to read it and not making it very far, then getting distracted by something else.

Books You Can't Read

Flxzr — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:31:46 -0800

I had to give up on Things that Never Happen by M John Harrison. I don't know if I'm just thick, but it seemed to me it should've been called Nothing Happens... Mind you, I've read a few of his books and I'm always left feeling I've missed something fundamental.

For the person who found Gaiman difficult, I have some sympathy. I read Anansi Boys and really don't understand why it got so much positive coverage. Then I read Neverwhere, which was OK and finally my sister got me his short story collection, Smoke and Mirrors, and that pretty much bored me. I had to skip the final story because it was too long to just quickly finish off.

I love Sandman, though, currently reading book 9.

Books You Can't Read

warrenellis — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:04:19 -0800

You are all weaklings.