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    • CommentAuthorKosmopolit
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2008
     (1382.1)
    So a woman apparently spend two years sitting on her boyfriend's toilet.

    He provided her with food and water and her other primary bodily function was obviously well-provided for.

    My first thought was wtf?

    My second was "I hope the house had a second toilet for the boyfriend'".
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      CommentAuthorJoe Paoli
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2008
     (1382.2)
    This one's making the rounds, and all I can say is I hope that faced with a similar situation I'd take less time to seek outside help. This assumes that I would have tried everything I could to extricate my SO from there first.
  1.  (1382.3)
    My first thought was, "More fiber."
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      CommentAuthorElana
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2008
     (1382.4)
    I just don't understand what kind of relationship they had for two years with her sitting on a toilet all the time and him not noticing that she was being physiologically sealed onto the shitter.

    Even aside from the moral imperative to get her help... that seems like time to end the relationship.
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      CommentAuthorJoe Paoli
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2008
     (1382.5)
    @elana
    I just don't understand what kind of relationship they had for two years with her sitting on a toilet all the time and him not noticing that she was being physiologically sealed onto the shitter.

    Even aside from the moral imperative to get her help... that seems like time to end the relationship.
    This is the kind of love they don't tell you about in stories.

    Clearly some kind of codependency. I'd like to think it wouldn't take more than a day or two for me to come in and try talking.cajoling/dragging her out, calling family to talk to her, or something.

    How should it take for it to occur to someone to say "you can't spend your whole life in there, honey," and if someone tries, there's something pretty seriously wrong? Two years seems like the wrong answer.
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      CommentAuthorZ
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2008
     (1382.6)
    <strong>@Joe Paoli </strong>

    I've agreed with just about everything you've said on this one.

    I can't have a sense of humour about this story. It has all of the elements of a good joke, but at the heart of this there's a sick, lonely, desperately frightened individual who was left to fend for herself early on it sounds like:
    <blockquote> James Ellis, a neighbor, said he had known the woman since she was a child, but that he had not seen her for at least six years.
    [..]
    Babcock had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up, he said.</blockquote>
    Doesn't sound as if the neighbour made much of an effort to reach out, which doesn't fill me with confidence regarding the conduct of her previous neighbours growing up.

    Any number of positive factors coming into play early on could have helped her in a significant way. Unfortunately, left to manage for herself, she became isolated and unstable. It isn't easy to see how bizarre your own behaviour is until someone is giving you That Look.

    Take it from someone who leaves the house for social interaction once every thirty-some-odd days. If I didn't have a desk job to stay sane and 'normal' at, who knows how far out of control my own thoughts would get. I didn't get clean or sober for myself initially, I didn't stop working labor jobs for myself initially, and I didn't make new friends for myself initially. It was a matter of, 'we'd like you to stop getting drunk and beating the unholy fuck out of people now, please', 'we really think you're too smart to be cleaning bathrooms the rest of your life', and 'now that you can behave yourself, meet my other friend- who could quite possibly be your friend too, if you can control yourself and act civil'.

    Granted, this only works for a limited amount of time. Until you're doing something for yourself and for your own self-benefit you can't really wholeheartedly adopt a new behaviour. Without speculating with a lot of armchair psychology, I'll say this: if she was kept in the house and punished there and told never to leave she most likely has a great deal of self-blame and undeserved guilt; leaving would only mean more guilt because she shouldn't have left, and anything bad that might have happened when she left (someone trying to snatch her purse, someone making a pass at her) would have likely resulted in more self-blame.

    If I hadn't seen it first hand or met folks this close to the edge (some who unfortunately weren't pulled back in time), I might be able to make a joke.

    Then again, I never sound funny on the internet.

    - Z
  2.  (1382.7)
    I believe they didn't call the police earlier because the woman asked her boyfriend not to. Anyone who brings food and water to a woman in a toilet for two years obviously will do anything else she asks.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJay Kay
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2008
     (1382.8)
    My first thought was, "More fiber."


    My first thought was, "Either shit or get off the pot."

    Seriously, this sounds hella twisted. :|
  3.  (1382.9)
    ... well, if you gotta go, you gotta go.
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      CommentAuthorTF
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2008
     (1382.10)
    Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.


    This suprised me more - even the Sun wouldn't go this far (unless he was a peado or something). Over here and the UK- generally - they'd say "woman stuck on toilet for two years" and then if it went to trial the guy would be named and shamed.

    Chances are the boyfriend's not right in the head so they'd be happy with the weird story and not jump straight to "The police wouldn't tell us anything but we found out it was Kory McFarren's fault FUCK YOU KORY! Fuck your family, fuck your employer - answer the fucking phone when we fucking ring and God help you Kory if you just happened to own the property and rent it to these two psychos cause you're the only name we have so you're definitely involved!"

    I'd heard tabloid news was bad over there but I thought bad as in tasteless and untrue not necessarily irresponsible. What a naive creature I was.

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