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London Zoo: Tell one outrageous lie about yourself that the board must adopt as truth!

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  1.  (173.81)
    On Tuesdays I ride the skies in a golden chariot pulled by a swarm of winged demon-caracals and kill alien bigfoot androids by playing mad riffs on a guitar made from dragon tears while the ghost of Shakespeare narrates my awesomeness to my army of gothkawa concubines.
    • CommentAuthorgrenacia
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.82)
    I am a chatbot.
    • CommentAuthorunclesean
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.83)
    I have T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" tattooed on penis. Plus I have his original footnotes on my scrotum. If you get a microscope you can almost read it.
    • CommentAuthorJEFFSJ
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.84)
    I hate sex
    • CommentAuthorPooka
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007 edited
     (173.85)
    I'm an irradiated rabbit spirit come back from chernobyl that's gonna eat all yer faces.
    I be ZumbieBonnyHulk!
  6.  (173.86)
    Someone get the Holy Hand Grenade!!!
    • CommentAuthorPlakat
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.87)
    People call me The Dude
  8.  (173.88)
    Screaming Meat
    Excuse the ignorance but what in mother russia's name is jenkem?


    More than you need to know

    Jenkem
    Mr Ellis take on it

    Everything I know I learnt from internet jesus.
  9.  (173.89)
    Thats... thats...

    ...street names for Jenkem are Leroy Jenkems, Keenoi, and butt-hash


    Thats going on my christmas list...

    ...as butt-hash... AHAHAHAHAhahah...ah... truly, I am tickled and revolted. Do we have a name for that sensation?

    PS: Awesome bit of writing, internet Jesus.
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      CommentAuthorian.mcrob
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.90)
    I invented Futurama and somebody whose name will Not be mentioned tapped my brain and stole it all.

    For I AM BENDER.

    now give me all your money and alcahol before I pull an arm off and beat you to death with it.
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      CommentAuthorFractal
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.91)
    I live at the center of the earth.
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      CommentAuthoraike
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.92)
    I am fnord.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjwelcher
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.93)
    The original 1975 "Escape to Witch Mountain" was based on my life story, except that the helicopter didn't really land upside down on it's blades.
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      CommentAuthorVespers
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2007
     (173.94)
    @ aike

    'I am' <--- how is this a lie?
  15.  (173.95)
    I am the King of Cartoons, and Alan Moore is my bitch.

    (And Warren is my emergency back-up bitch.)
  16.  (173.96)
    I found Madeleine McCann
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      CommentAuthorravnos
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2007
     (173.97)
    @ aike

    fnord you.

    bravo sir.
    • CommentAuthorpi8you
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2007
     (173.98)
    I live on a small island in the Mediterranean, assembling a pirate fleet to sow chaos on the seven seas.
    • CommentAuthoreggzoomin
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2007
     (173.99)
    I'm Garth Ennis.
  20.  (173.100)
    There's a reason they call me "Two-Cocks."

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This discussion has been inactive for longer than 5 days, and doesn't want to be resurrected.