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Culturegasm: [Closed] Uwe Boll Fistfights the Internet

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    • CommentAuthorDracko
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.1)
    I'm having a time out until I can learn some manners.
    I think the idea of "Fuck 'em if they can't tale a joke" applies here.
  2.  (1741.2)
    This reminds me of when Rob Liefeld said Alan Moore wasn't actually that good at writing. This was after Alan Moore left working with Liefeld.

    C.
  3.  (1741.3)
    That AWESOME Bay commercial reminds me of this

    Steven Segal Mountain Dew commercial
    • CommentAuthorVaruker
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.4)
    Well at least the man sticks to his guns. There's something to be said about confidence in ones own abilities, no matter how misguided. Yes, his movies blow. But then again, he's not exactly defiling great literary works here. I say let the man earn a living at what he does best. Making movies for people dumb enough to spend money on them.
    • CommentAuthorFfordesoon
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.5)
    Making movies for people dumb enough to spend money on them.


    Normally I'd agree with you, but his films barely break even, even when you factor in international grosses.

    So he really SHOULDN'T still be in the business.
    • CommentAuthorFfordesoon
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.6)
    I keep scan-reading the name of this thread as "Uwe Boll Fistfucks the Internet".


    Which is a more interesting visual than anything in any of his movies, actually.
    • CommentAuthorharchangel
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.7)
    Which is a more interesting visual than anything in any of his movies, actually.


    This still falls under the category of something most people would not want to subject themselves to. so is it really that far from one of his actual movies?
    •  
      CommentAuthorSJD
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.8)
    I believe everyone deserves to make whatever art they love to make.

    No matter how bad it is.

    Trying to prevent someone from them expressing themselves however ugly the result, proves people on the internet need to find better causes to fight.

    And sometimes I like Michael Bay. Sometimes.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMegaGoosey
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008 edited
     (1741.9)
    Michael Bay movies make me sick to my stomach, but that commercial was pretty good.

    As for Boll, I really don't understand how he can still be making movies. What sane movie exec would be like "yeah, this guy has a great track record of making money! Let's throw some more his way!"?

    I'd like to know the details of how his movies get funded. My guess is that he gives great head and there's some very lonely, homosexual, execs out there.
    •  
      CommentAuthortedcroland
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.10)
    homosexual


    Take it or leave it. Head is head.
  11.  (1741.11)
    @ SDJ

    I definitely agree with that. I have no problem with those I consider bad artists garnishing success, no matter how much my distaste for them.

    I can say this little video of Uwe declaring 'These guys suck, I ROCK!' is more than a little arrogant and nauseating, though. It makes me want to go out of my way and make sure he doesn't get any of my money.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.12)
    Herr Boll is going to be on Attack of the Show on G4 tonight, probably around 7:30 EST (the replay starts at 10).

    This is going to be fucking epic.
    •  
      CommentAuthorRabbit
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.13)
    Wow, I wish he were bring ironic or something, because that would be something more akin to genius. But it seems like he actually believes what he's saying. I don't know how he somehow rationalizes taking video games AND their plots and simply converting them to movies as genius, but whatever makes him happy. I suppose even Leonardo and Michaelangelo only really painted what their patrons told them to, but at least their art was groundbreaking for their time in more ways than one. However, his conviction makes me feel both disturbed and curious; I'm willing to bet right after he turned off the camera he said, "Hah! I showed dem! Fucking retards." And pictured himself triumphantly walking away to violins and weepy-eyed girls who hath been saved from the false-genius a whole decade of other movies and slept very well that night. Shortly after, he anonymously started said 'Pro-Boll!' petition. I bet it's on Facebook and everything.

    But I kind of find myself on a similar page to Val; I might have thought better of him if he'd defended himself more and blew up his head a little less, as amusing as his attacks were. Although I'd probably be a bit impressed if he actually DID do it for the lolz.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMegaGoosey
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.14)
    @tedcroland

    I lolled.
    •  
      CommentAuthorravnos
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.15)
    There was ONE thing I LIKED about House of the Dead, and I'm not ashamed to say it. Jürgen Prochnow is in it. Seriously. He's awesome. Otherwise, terrible movie.
    Although I DID like it more than Cabin Fever (FUCK you Eli Roth) which was seriously just a waste of time. If I had cared, I would have asked for my money back afterwards...

    But no... Uwe Boll needs to go away I think. His movies waste my time. Because even if I don't watch them, I hear about them. And I have to take time out of my day to tell the person babbling about them "I don't care and shut up."
  16.  (1741.16)
    I'm pretty sure Uwe Bolle has been taking the piss for years, having learnt if you prod the internet, it'll react.. He doesn't take his movies terribly seriously and he really is someone people making low to mid budget films can take lessons from. Not that his films are good or anything, but his ability to get shit done is fairly impressive.
  17.  (1741.17)
    How Uwe Boll movies get funded isn't really a mystery. All his movies make money. They all turn a profit, so the studios he works with are happy to stump up the cash for his next video game adaptation since he has a track record of turning a moderate profit on everything.

    I think he's doing it for shits and giggles really, I doubt he gives much of a crap what anyone thinks of his movies.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJay Kay
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.18)
    Yeah, three things seperate Bay and Roth and explains why Roth is a better canidate to leave the buisness then Bay.

    1. Bay seems to have the sense to at least work with competant writers.
    2. Bay is MUCH better at doing action.
    3. Bay is MUCH better at making money.

    I'm not in any way a fan of Bay's collective work, but I could watch Armagheddon or Transformers and be entertained by the well-worked action of them. Boll is only good if you have a group of friends, a few bottles of hard alcohol, and maybe some certain illegal substances and just MST3K the living shit out of it.
    • CommentAuthorjohnmuth
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008 edited
     (1741.19)
    I saw the Boll petition on Wednesday, and when I clicked the link there had been 60,000 votes, after I signed it (because while I don't really give a fuck whether he makes more movied or not - I won't be watching them if he does - I signed the petition anyways.) there were 114,000 votes. Currently, it looks like there's almost 175k signatures. (with 2500 Pro-Boll votes)

    My main question when it comes to Boll's films isn't why or how he is able to make these movies - which almost universally regarded as the highest form of shit. It's the fact that he gets actors like Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Christian Slater, Kristanna Loken and various others who don't seem like they need the paycheck, to be in his movies.

    And I looked up the business for most of his movies and I don't know what kind of crack people are smoking that makes them think that his movies are making money! Fortunately, it's only been in the past few years that he has had the money for big budget movies. Of course, even then his films still look like they were made for less than a few million. In the name of the king was budgeted at $60 million! I'd like to know where that money went, other than probably bribing the actors to say those horrible lines! (I watched it at a dollar cinema, for one of my friend's moving away presents.) The opening of the movie had Liotta and Leelee Sobieski discussing the fact that she could feel him come in her!!!

    *Edit* the difference between Boll's shit movies and Bay's shit movies are that Michael Bay uses his budget to make the movies as pretty as possible. Like I stated above with In the Name of the King, for $60 million, that movie could have looked a lot prettier than it did. The best production value was in the "Tree fairies" played by Kristanna Loken and some other "pretty people" and they were almost naked, so no real money needed there.
    •  
      CommentAuthormadmatt213
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2008
     (1741.20)
    @Chris Hickey

    Here's the link to the video of Uwe Boll on Attack of the Show. I've only seen a few clips of his movies on YouTube, and I like his attitude in interviews, so you won't hear a peep from me in favor of ousting the man from the business.

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