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      CommentAuthorExploder
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008 edited
     (1741.1)
    Uwe Boll declaring himself a genius.

    Apparently this is Uwe Boll's response to an online petition to get him to stop making movies. There's also a pro Uwe petition, per Herr Boll's request.

    I just think it's awesome that he essentially calls Michael Bay and George Clooney retards.
  1.  (1741.2)
    Ooh, wow he's so gutsy and wild! Being shit at what you do, and then making yourself a celebrity out of being shit at what you do, is a little Jade Goody for my tastes...

    That said what Jade Goody does is live, so Uwe 1 - Goody 0.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.3)
    I just think it's awesome that he essentially calls Michael Bay and George Clooney retards.

    This coming from the man responsible for the Postal movie?
    •  
      CommentAuthorAriana
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.4)
    I just think it's awesome that he essentially calls Michael Bay and George Clooney retards.
    Awesome?

    •  
      CommentAuthorExploder
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008 edited
     (1741.5)
    Awesome in a way where I'm amazed at the incredible megalomania of Uwe Boll. Not awesome in a way where I agree with what he's saying in any way. (Well, okay, I'm not fan of Michael Bay. So maybe on that one...)
  2.  (1741.6)
    In all honesty, that commercial is pretty awesome.
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      CommentAuthorEgon
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.7)
    I'm at a new job with no computer speakers or ear buds, so I can't hear the video but I've still got $0.02 to spit.

    I won't dare try to defend the guy's movie making skills, but he's obviously doing what he loves which is more than I can say for most people I know. Let's say the petition works and he's sent packing. It's not like he's just going to apply at Starbucks and work there for the rest of his days. He's made too many connections at this point. He'll just end up producing, editing or even working camera ops for other shitty movies.

    Postal is getting released against Indiana Jones here in the US, so I don't think we have to worry about it earning #1 at the box office. In fact, I'm sure he's figured out by now that by failing, he wins.
    • CommentAuthorSolario
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.8)
    I know the definition varies, but I'm pretty sure Uwe Boll is balls. Regardless of the context.
    •  
      CommentAuthorWill Couper
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008 edited
     (1741.9)
    Ha ha ha ha ha! The man's a comedy genius just for using the term 'Pro Boll Petition'.

    I see him as the Boris Johnson of film making.


    Will
  3.  (1741.10)
    When Fraction saw that commercial, he said "I bet Michael Bay didn't even know there was a fuckin' camera on."
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      CommentAuthorAriana
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.11)
    I'm really just hoping someone's going to make a mashup of the two videos, now.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJon Wake
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008 edited
     (1741.12)
    Uwe Boll is like Howard Hughes minus the genius. Or really, any discernible talent at all. Does anyone remember when he challenged a bunch of internet movie reviewers to a boxing match? I remember reading one of the kids on Ain't it Cool News spent the post fight interview throwing up.

    I'm glad he exists the same way I'm glad successful yet talentless people of all stripes exist: if they can get away with it, so can I.

    Geez, that's a really bleak statement, isn't it?

    Oh well. Been that kind of week.
    • CommentAuthorMathias B
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.13)
    Uwe Boll makes cheap, shitty but also harmless and occasionally entertaining films based on video games. Michael Bay is producing upcoming remakes of THE BIRDS(!) and ROSEMARY'S BABY(!!!). It's pretty clear to me who shouldn't be in the business.
  4.  (1741.14)
    The difference between Uwe and Bay, is that there are badly made shit movies, and there are well made shit movies. I'm not generally one to pass on character development, storytelling and invention, but Michael Bay does BOOM!! really well... As long as the bad parts are not offensively bad (Pearl Harbour), I can sit through the 6 hour runtime of a Bay flick and actually be entertained a little bit...

    Fraction's comment led me to imagine a skit where he mistakes a cameraman for that kid from the Big Brother program who was supposed to come over...
  5.  (1741.15)
    Uwe Boll takes having your head up your own ass to a new level, each and every time I read about him.

    At least Micheal Bay has the balls to poke a little fun at himself and his movies.
  6.  (1741.16)
    God that's funny. I mean, compared to Uwe Boll, Michael Bay is Einstein. What's really sad about that is that compared to, say, my 17 year old brother, Michael Bay is dumber than an ox.

    But that commercial was awesome.

    Also, Uwe Boll chickened out when a critic with actual fighting experience took the challenge.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJon Wake
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.17)

    Also, Uwe Boll chickened out when a critic with actual fighting experience took the challenge.


    Which endears him to me somewhat. He just wanted to be a bully.

    He's a highly paid director, actually a very canny producer, and he had the mentality of a 12 year old schoolyard yobbo. It's just sort of beautiful.
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      CommentAuthorAdmiral Neck
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008 edited
     (1741.18)
    I keep scan-reading the name of this thread as "Uwe Boll Fistfucks the Internet". Well, he's already managed to fistfuck cinema, and he's nothing if not ambitious...
  7.  (1741.19)
    As a movie-lover and reviewer on Whitechapel's blogging section, I'd very much love to see Uwe Boll hanging by his urethra by a dental floss over a pool of white sharks who haven't eaten for a week. But he does say:

    Or Eli Roth, making the same movies over and over again...


    Okay, POINT, I agree. And it's true the attention Michael Bay's films and Eli Roth's films receive are inversely proportional to their quality, so summing it all up I wish they were all hanging over a pool of white sharks by their necks, because their dicks would be stuck up each other's arses. Oh, and when the dental floss rips and they fall, a mechanism will activate making a ceiling descend onto Paul W. S. Anderson to break every bone in his body as slowly as possible.
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      CommentAuthorJon Wake
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2008
     (1741.20)
    I think I just made a puddle in my speed-suit.