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  1.  (2525.1)
    In Warren's most recent entry (Seen Here) he mentions two stories and says that there were not any more...

    But he was wrong.

    Here's the third one:

    I had Buddha's blood all over my mouth. It felt good. It felt right. The sound of the hollow, shining wind chimes was dead and awful now that they were packed with chunks of lung. But I liked it. A man should be treated properly when he needs a drink, even in Heaven's garden. The nice little Buddhist people ran away, clutching their vegan snacks. I uprooted three bo trees with a flick of my steaming loins, bit them in half and fired the pieces out at them with my rippling tongue-muscles. I cut their skin off as they died, because I knew I'd be needing toilet paper later.

    Behind me, the temple caught fire. I could have put out the fire by pissing on it.

    But I didn't.

    Ha ha.

    The end. Fuck off.

    (c) Warren Ellis 2005
    (I'm going to get kicked in the head for posting this, aren't I?)
  2.  (2525.2)
    The third one didn't work as well.
  3.  (2525.3)
    Warren, there must be worse stories than these locked up somewhere in your computer.
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2008
    Warren, the world needs more of your beef missile.

    Hmm, that didn't quite come out right, did it?
    • CommentTimeJun 10th 2008
    These, all of them, are quite possibly the best thing I've ever read.