Whitechapel - The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace Thu, 23 May 2013 17:13:56 -0700 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla 1.1.4 & Feed Publisher The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6774#Comment_6774 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6774#Comment_6774 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:12:52 -0800 warrenellis null ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6778#Comment_6778 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6778#Comment_6778 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:16:21 -0800 BrianKellett The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6779#Comment_6779 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6779#Comment_6779 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:19:34 -0800 Randy74 I love it and so should you Warren...

The Black Gas trade paperback makes a great stocking stuffer for little children. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6780#Comment_6780 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6780#Comment_6780 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:21:16 -0800 StefanJ
If "very special episodes" of sitcoms and holiday TV movies have taught me anything, saying you hate Christmas is just asking to find yourself in a crappy adaptation of A Christmas Carol with friends and acquaintances cast as the three spirits, and before the closing credits you'll be laughing like a hebephrenic as you drive a bus full of orphans to see A Care Bear Christmas on Ice. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6791#Comment_6791 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6791#Comment_6791 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:53:27 -0800 Ian Mayor Oh no you don't! Oh no he doesn't, does he boys and girls? does he?

etc. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6847#Comment_6847 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6847#Comment_6847 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 16:06:30 -0800 Z
I like Xmas.

-Z ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6863#Comment_6863 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6863#Comment_6863 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:03:47 -0800 DanteMac The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6865#Comment_6865 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6865#Comment_6865 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:18:34 -0800 Derleth
Next you'll tell me that Easter isn't a pagan soul-birth ceremony. Pfffft. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6871#Comment_6871 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6871#Comment_6871 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:33:21 -0800 Z
At least Christmastide as a practice has largely fallen out of favour.

Was in retail for longer than I'd like to admit. I remember when the Xmas decorations would arrive in August, followed by the Xmas cd in September. I used to store it in a locked filing cabinet, only to be played when the DM and RM's were in attendance.

Customers would remark, 'why aren't you playing that awful cd the other store is playing?'. 'Because it's awful,' I told them.

That grateful little smile.. it could break your heart, really.

-Z ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6874#Comment_6874 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6874#Comment_6874 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:42:45 -0800 StefanJ
I went to a craft & hobby store a few weeks back. One of those places where the scent of potpourri hits you like a pretty-smelling 2 x 4 aimed at the nostrils.

On the way out, I passed through an aisle where "Christmas village" knick-knacks were on display.

These are those little diorama structures that look like the buildings in Thomas Kincaide paintings. I imagine batty old ladies collect them to set up displays in their homes.

This year, the mighty Invisible Hand of the market and the inexorable march of technological progress has given the little people in the buildings VOICES. They talk about the snow and sing carols. There were DOZENS of these in the aisle, all babbling out of sync.

I bet the clerks would really love earplugs for Christmas. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6909#Comment_6909 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6909#Comment_6909 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:05:22 -0800 Spiraltwist The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6918#Comment_6918 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6918#Comment_6918 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:22:26 -0800 eggzoomin
This does lead me to my point, if I can be considered to have such a thing. Recently I did a little job - the switching on of the Christmas lights at the Westfield shopping centre in Derby. This came complete with an appearance from Father Christmas and Justin Fletcher from "Mr Tumble," which I'm told is an extremely popular programme on CBeebies for those little weird non-humans - not possessing an idiot's lantern and being over five, I was unaware of its existence prior to the day. How bad could such an innocent job be? I routinely work with crowds of up to 20 000 drunken, baying rock fiends. Children? Nae bother, big man. We didn't even put in crowd barriers - really, how bad could it be, right? The BBC dude sings "Jelly on a Plate" for fuck's sake! It's not exactly Motorhead.

Good god. About 5000 people tried to fit into the middle of a shopping centre, for HOURS before the show was even due to start. Being smaller than adults, many children could not see. Consquently, their parents moved them forward, so the little darlings could. This meant others could not see. Others moved forward. Very quickly, the crew and all the equipment are hip deep in screaming kids, who cannot see, are trying to get on the stage, around the back of it, underneath it and generally flooding the place. Screaming children make parents unhappy - if little Timmy is not having a nice time, you are a bad parent. This concerns them. Parents quickly become cross and then abusive about the fact that no thought was given to the fact that none of them are considerate enough to sit down. Abuse turns into shouted arguments with security. Security are forced to start removing people. The vibe turns ugly. It gets uglier as the showtime is pushed back by an hour. The man himself is upstairs, doing a meet and greet. The tension and crowd battles continues for the hour, until finally word comes over the radio, finally, that it's about to begin and he's on his way. Here we go.

There are now so many people pushing forward that I'm being thrown into the mixing desk. Security are desperately trying to keep a cordon around us and the gear. This isn't a crowd any more, it's a fully blown mob. The baying of the Mothercare-clad hounds frightens me - I feel like a 6', 170 pound, tattooed rabbit being menaced by thousands of miniature pitbulls waving glowsticks and empty packets of sweets. The little fuckers are hopped up to the eyeballs on a dangerous combination of E numbers and CBeebies-induced adrenaline - essentially PCP for the under-fives. It's like Hillsborough with tinsel. We somehow soldier through - "Jelly On A Plate," "The Grand Old Duke of York" and "If You're Happy And You Know It" pass me by in a blur as I desperately attempt to crank a 10 000 watt PA system loud enough to cover the ungodly howling of the prepubescent hounds. Kindergarten Beatlemania. The rest of the crew, other than Pete the lighting guy, have retreated backstage and are now alternating between unhelpfully laughing and pointing at me and Pete, adrift on a sea of chaos, and cowering when they realise that the pack has seen them and might make a move their way, scenting fresh roadcrew blood. Eventually, after what seems like a time-dilated eternity, CBeebies chap concludes his set and I trigger the sleigh bell samples that signify the impending arrival of the chap playing Santa. He appears. There is a stage invasion. It's testament to his magnanimity and sheer grace under fire that he does not swat them in a fit of retroactive abortion. He announces that he will be in the grotto situated opposite shortly, I trigger a CD of Rat Pack Christmas tunes and mercifully, Justin Fletcher appears at the side of the stage to sign autographs. Less mercifully, it's OUR side of the stage. Pete and I huddle together in terror as the waves of the great unwashed engulf us. Security by this point are harried beyond all belief, desperately attempting to keep us and the kit safe as the mob fights and struggles and howls to get at their new Messiah. One man's head explodes from the stress of it all (OK, that bit was a lie). Finally, it's over. Fletcher retreats and the people ebb away. We are left, physically exhausted and emotionally shattered. I want to go back to doing death metal gigs, it's safer.

In conclusion, then: FUCK Christmas. You people disgust me. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6919#Comment_6919 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6919#Comment_6919 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:28:38 -0800 williac
I didn't even have my costume yet and the bastards were trying to sell me canned cookies shaped like trees.

It's downright uncivilized.

Edited to say: Damn Eggzoomin, that's rough. I've seen people go down in a death metal pit. They'd get picked up and carried to the edge, if injured. If anyone went down at the kind of event you describe, the poor thing probably would've been trampled. Ho ho ho. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6927#Comment_6927 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6927#Comment_6927 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:50:22 -0800 Unsub
I saw one of those cop caught on video shows last year where some chunky drunken yank who undoubtably worked in retail went mad in a nativity/santa display with
a giant candy cane. That fat drunk is my xmass hero. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6932#Comment_6932 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6932#Comment_6932 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 21:05:42 -0800 Mark R
But them some greedy bastard decided to commercialize the whole thing and now it's gone to shit.

I'm with you Warren, Christmas can go to hell. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6973#Comment_6973 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6973#Comment_6973 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 23:00:03 -0800 F. David Swallow II
One song is a rendition of Jingle Bells, where the lady sings it like 5 times too fast.
utterly horrible. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6976#Comment_6976 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=6976#Comment_6976 Mon, 10 Dec 2007 23:08:52 -0800 chezlyons The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7002#Comment_7002 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7002#Comment_7002 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 00:37:23 -0800 Jay Kay The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7004#Comment_7004 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7004#Comment_7004 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 00:49:14 -0800 frenchbloke these. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7024#Comment_7024 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7024#Comment_7024 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 03:58:15 -0800 BrianKellett
Beautiful post - thank you for making me laugh this cold and grotty morning. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7029#Comment_7029 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7029#Comment_7029 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 04:22:27 -0800 jona
Loved the post. May I suggest next time (if you are foolish enough to do it again) that you hand out semtexto the little dears. Should keep them quiet one way or the other. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7034#Comment_7034 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7034#Comment_7034 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 04:50:56 -0800 frenchbloke The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7042#Comment_7042 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7042#Comment_7042 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 05:29:46 -0800 Elohim
In France, there is no Easter Bunny. Instead, all the church bells fly to Rome to be blessed by the Pope, and on their way back they shit chocolate for all the girls and boys.

Swear to god. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7088#Comment_7088 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7088#Comment_7088 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 10:48:25 -0800 Flabyo
And relatives think it's ok to just give you one present and say 'we didn't get you two things, this is for both'.

I spent Christmas in Tokyo one year. I ate junk food and marvelled at all the people going to work like normal. Felt bloody fantastic. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7132#Comment_7132 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7132#Comment_7132 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 13:45:48 -0800 curb The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7173#Comment_7173 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7173#Comment_7173 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 17:30:07 -0800 lofidelity
May you next mosh pit be merry and filled with screaming eggzoomin ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7182#Comment_7182 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7182#Comment_7182 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:43:14 -0800 eggzoomin The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7183#Comment_7183 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7183#Comment_7183 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:48:20 -0800 Azmoooo
I miss retail. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7186#Comment_7186 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7186#Comment_7186 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:55:49 -0800 screaming meat The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7445#Comment_7445 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7445#Comment_7445 Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:18:27 -0800 Shawn The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7447#Comment_7447 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=7447#Comment_7447 Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:31:06 -0800 John Smith The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8178#Comment_8178 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8178#Comment_8178 Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:46:56 -0800 shorty_monster
Last year we did a Kein Smith film fest and drinking game, then on to the evil dead trilogy followed by a Romero triple bill. After 15 hours plus drinking and filling myself full of food, I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up in my front room an hour before the pubs opened with twelve other people who I don't live with.

Not exactly festive but a ruddy good laugh! ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8179#Comment_8179 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8179#Comment_8179 Sat, 15 Dec 2007 15:06:17 -0800 Randy74
Having a child, its about making her happy with things she digs, the pagan/religious aspects hold jno meaning for me and i would guess for most americans its the same, mostly a time of family and food, gifts and making fun of relatives.Im sure people feel some pressuer from the cunsumerism aspect of it all, but hey only spend what you can afford too and not anything beyond that will put you in a bind. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8185#Comment_8185 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8185#Comment_8185 Sat, 15 Dec 2007 15:39:33 -0800 LBA The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8210#Comment_8210 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8210#Comment_8210 Sat, 15 Dec 2007 19:33:57 -0800 obliterati The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8279#Comment_8279 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=8279#Comment_8279 Sun, 16 Dec 2007 07:20:16 -0800 Doc Ocassi
My Christmas decorations last year was two of these baubles hanging for my sitting room light fitting.



They stayed up till someone broke them mid-march. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=9437#Comment_9437 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=9437#Comment_9437 Sat, 22 Dec 2007 21:24:39 -0800 Sarpedon I can do nothing to help them.

Hearing Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmas Time" abortion simply makes me have a terrible Christmas time.

seconded.

@ eggzoomin - that would be funny if it wasn't both terrifying and true. ]]> The Xmas Message I Left On MySpace http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=9439#Comment_9439 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=253&Focus=9439#Comment_9439 Sat, 22 Dec 2007 21:29:31 -0800 sacredchao