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    • CommentAuthorJEFFSJ
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.1)
    Please accept my apologies if I'm late to the table with this.
    Michael Bay's rejected The Dark Night script.
  1.  (2893.2)
    Michael Bay uses scripts for his movies?!!
  2.  (2893.3)
    I would watch the shit out of that movie. Eighteen times.
    • CommentAuthorJEFFSJ
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.4)
    Oh hell yes.
    • CommentAuthorLachesis
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.5)
    Cinematic epic the likes of which we've never seen.
    • CommentAuthordnwilliams
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008 edited
     (2893.6)
    i love how michael bay's awesomeness to the point of ridiculousness is a standing joke. he's like the directorial chuck norris, only more maligned

    18 is a very specific number of times...
    •  
      CommentAuthorGreg SBB!
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.7)
    "No one's ever hacked the internet"

    Stone cold fucking genius.
    •  
      CommentAuthorKPeff
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008 edited
     (2893.8)
    I like that it begins like an actual Michael Bay movie and then gets to the crazy. This is a nicely done joke.

    Finally, BRUCE's face lights up with equal parts brilliance and insanity.

    BRUCE: We hack the internet.

    ALFRED: Hack the internet?

    BRUCE: Yes, hack the internet.

    GENERAL: No one's ever hacked the internet before.

    BRUCE: Well, there is a first for everything.

    GENERAL: Okay, I like it. But which one of the internets do we hack?

    BRUCE: All of them.
  3.  (2893.9)
    Is it too early to nominate this for Best Screenplay?
    •  
      CommentAuthorCamyLuna
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.10)
    I started cracking up at "An American Flag (CGI) flies in the distance..." and couldn't go on.
    • CommentAuthorScottS
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.11)
    man, I need a movie where they hack ALL the internets! at the same time!
    •  
      CommentAuthorthom_wong
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.12)
    Script = great. I'm with the rest of you - would watch this forever, especially for the big fucking missiles.

    Comments = better. Clear winners - guy who uses THIS script as evidence that Bay is no good. Guy who muses aloud "I don't even know if this is real TO BE HONEST."
    •  
      CommentAuthorEgon
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.13)
    If Patton Oswalt's rejected Hostess Cupcakes script is any indication, this will eventually be made.
    •  
      CommentAuthorespada
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.14)
    They left out the bit where Batman and the General are next to each other with debris flying around them while the camera slowly pans from below in a circular fashion as they stand up and gather themselves for their last confrontation with the Joker.
  4.  (2893.15)
    She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world.
    That's fucking poetry right there.
  5.  (2893.16)
    Michael Bay presents, in association with Michael Bay Productions, and Michael Bay, director: Michael Bay's The Dark Knight, by Michael Bay. Featuring dialogue scripted by Michael Bay.


    Brilliant.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2008
     (2893.17)
    The Joker has a fucking ZEPPELIN???

    I have to watch this.
  6.  (2893.18)
    seriously, can this movie be real??? i would be a happy monkey.
  7.  (2893.19)
    I think my favorite part is just the repeated cuts to "Shots of the Pentagon" for no reason during the first scene.
  8.  (2893.20)
    i would have to say the "back in black" where he then actually says the line back in black afterwards. jesus, i want to rob a bank and make this movie.