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      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    Hey folks, have you heard the latest craze? WEDDING DJ BINGO!

    Stuck at a summer wedding, counting the seconds as a boring reception drags on? Not sure why you're there in the first place? And then, to top it off, the DJ starts spinning the tunes...THE SAME TUNES YOU HEAR AT EVERY WEDDING? What can you do? What the @#$%& can you do?!?

    Why not play a spirited round of WEDDING DJ BINGO?

    It's easy. Just go to PAUL SIZER'S B.P.M. WEBSITE and download a free PDF of your own set of Wedding DJ Bingo cards. Print them out and take them to your next wedding. It plays just like regular BINGO, but instead of numbers, you win places on the card by the boring, predictable, worn out wedding reception standards that bad, uninspired wedding DJs have been forcing on us for years. Four people can play at once. Customize it! Make it a drinking game! Yell "BINGO" as they play "Boot Scootin' Boogie" for the third time because Aunt Betty requested it!

    Fun for the whole drunken family! And while you're there, you can check out free pages from Paul Sizer's new graphic novel, B.P.M., out in late September from CAFE DIGITAL STUDIOS.

    Given the musical sophistication of the Whitechapel crowd, I have a request: please look over the choices I picked for the songs on the cards and let me know other truly horrible songs should be included on set 2 of these cards.
    Let the BINGO fun begin!
    • CommentAuthorepalicki
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    As a former wedding DJ, I happily endorse this product and/or service!

    Where's "Amazed" by Lonestar?
  1.  (2921.3)
    I still can't get over the fact that so many people think "Every Breath You Take" is just ever so romantic. Good Lord, people.

    I have two weddings to attend in September (my first real ones) and I believe that both parties are too good to allow the above, but we'll see.
      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008 edited
    Let me state, for the record, that I DO NOT THINK DJs WHO DO WEDDINGS ARE EVIL.
    Just some of them, so this is a game using the bad ones, not the ones that have actually done a stellar job of pleasing both the wedding party and the guests.
    I have very high esteem for the DJ who CAN make a wedding reception work. For the ones that don't...BINGO!

    These cards have been designed to fit discreetly into a suit jacket pocket or purse, so you can have them at the ready in case things go south...
    • CommentAuthorepalicki
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    You can't always blame the DJ.

    I've encountered plenty of wedding planners, brides and mothers of brides who've done more than their share of meddling.

    It's kind of hard not to play 'The Hokey Pokey' when the person signing the check is demanding such.
      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008 edited
    True, but when I've DJed weddings, I've always worked to give the wedding party a wide range of choices, so that they don't fall to the boring ones. There are no bad songs, just badly used songs.

    Truthfully, I don't care if the bride wants "Fergilicious" for her bouquet toss; it's her day, she gets what she wants. However, when the DJ has gone past the party's requested songs, that's where things either go up or quickly downhill. Granted, the worst weddings I've been at musically have been exceeeeeedingly "WASP white", but still, a few inspired choices by a smart DJ can make even the squarest reception a hipper place to be.

    Plus, I love playing "Tainted Love" at weddings. Like "Every Breath You Take", it's so NOT what you want at a wedding, but no one cares.
  2.  (2921.7)
    Our wedding DJ was great, we entered the reception to the indiana jones theme tune, he played metallica for us and a big variety of great tunes. don't think there was a single one on those bingo cards...
  3.  (2921.8)
    the last wedding i was at had a bunch of drunk irish women doing the drunk old lady dance to soulja boy and whoever does that ridin dirty song. hilarious.
  4.  (2921.9)
    These cards would not fly at a Detroit wedding. On the subject of songs you don't want to hear at a wedding I haven't been back to Detroit for a wedding that has not included Ass+Titties by DJ Assault, or Me So Horny, or I Like 2 Move It... In Detroit Wedding is just another name for High School Prom.
  5.  (2921.10)
    Har! That's great...

    Went to one wedding reception where they'd made a delicious cockup with the booking - they thought they were getting a country band but ended up with a bunch of hairy old rockers covering Black Sabbath and Hawkwind, a kind of real-life Spinal Tap moment.

    There also used to be a whole bunch of pub rock bands around Winchester in the late eighties who played pretty much the same set despite being different people... it was spooky, they'd start with Wishing Well and end with Crazy Train, without fail. Maybe there was some School For Paunchy Rockers that just churned them out.
    • CommentAuthorepalicki
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    My absolute favorite is when the bride requests 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' for the Bouquet toss and thinks she's the first person to ever do so. (Or any of a hundred other variations on this situation.)
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    Last wedding I went to, the DJ played the WBALS track/sketch from Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle album.

    There's a certain kind of embarrassed joy that comes from seeing old people cringe at hearing a radio dj (easily mistaken for the actual wedding dj) say "Awww yeah. it's the jack off hour."
      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    I didn't want to screw with a DJ or live musicians for my own wedding, so hello iTunes and a big sound system and a remote.

    Jane and I specifically wanted to have tracks that kinda screwed with people, and since she had gone to lengths to tell me that her friends and family didn't like to dance, I decided that they just hadn't heard the right tunes. Between having the entire crowd pogoing to "Birdhouse in Your Soul", to wriggling on the floor to "Rock Lobster", I also made sure to include tunes like "Poison Arrow" by ABC, "Kung Fu Fighting", plenty of Stevie Wonder, B-52's, Flock of Seagulls, Prince, Yello and noisy Irish tunes for Jane's hardcore Irish player buddies. I did an awesome mime to "Cars" as well, which was met with a smattering of applause. I danced my ass off at my wedding, and was able to adjust the playlist as needed for the ebb and flow of the crowd. Tricking Jane's friends into getting out on the dancefloor was great.
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008 edited
    I'll be doing two weddings this summer.

    This shall be my checklist.

    EDIT: A clarification. I'll be the DJ. *grin*
      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    For those of you that DO try these out; let me know how they work.

    I tried to get a decent cross section of songs, but I'm curious about making these even more complete. Should I make a UK version with specific tracks abused over there? What might those be? Any help form the UK members of the board would be most appreciated.
  6.  (2921.16)
    yeah, there'd be a whole bunch of other songs abused here... right now i can't think of them, i most likely tried to erase them from memory as quickly as possible.

    if it were up to me, all weddings would be like this:
      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2008
    The strange thing is, the worst example of lacklustre DJ work was actually AT a DJ's wedding. He had another DJ friend do the honors, and out started coming the predictable crap songs. "This must be some in-joke, a prank between two old veterans of the Wedding DJ occupation..." Nope, as the evening wore on, it just got worse and worse. I was questioning the other people at my table. "Is this for real? Oh God, not 'Lady In Red'!!!" Friends of mine who were working at the same record store as me were going out for smoke breaks and just bolting.

    Best part? The DJ guy who was also getting married used to be in a NIN-wannabe band, and the house DJ played one of his "industrial ballads" as the "First Bride and Groom" dance. Something like "Your crystal tears, falling down your rusted face. I look inside your clockwork heart, for my hidden space..." I was ordering gin and tonics as fast as I could so my mouth was doing something other than vomiting.
  7.  (2921.18)
    Lady in Red is ubiquitous in the UK too.
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2008
    Oh my Good did the DJ at my wedding suck. That's what I get for being in such a fugue the whole time we were planning. Motherfucker nearly blinded me with metal confetti thrown directly in my face.

    @AmaterasuSoma: My WC Army grows! Goooood!
  8.  (2921.20)
    Heh, I just remembered that another two friends of mine that got married last year exchanged the "slow, romantic first dance" for swing dancing. Very suiting for them.

    Any dance music played at my future wedding will probably be classical (Pachelbel's Canon in D not included), jazz and/or classic metal. Anything resembling Greatest Hits can take a dive.

    @Fauxhammer: >_>