Whitechapel - Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T13:55:09-07:00

Saturday Night Open Mic: it is time for the ghost monkeys behind your eyes to speak their brains.

For those newcomers who don't know the drill, Saturday Night Open Mic is for venting, posing, talking about your future, and enumerating the many and vile ways in which you love me.

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week. Explain to me why the world is shit. Confess your sins. Get something off your chest. Tell me a plan. Tell me what's in your head. I want to know. On Saturday nights I am your ear and your confessor and your audience.

I am also drinking and locked in a small room with you.

Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful. Tell me of new things, or old secrets. Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creatures of the night.

Remember, pictures are good, for I am senile and don't always remember all 4000 of you freakbabies.

Speak to me now. I am Internet Jesus, your personal Invisible Space Daddy, and I love you all.

Yes. In that way.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:04:42-07:00

I'm pissed off, really pissed off, because I'm 100% sure they won't let Obama be elected (and I swear I'm not a global conspiration freak)

I'm fucking upset because my country's legislation will never allow me to adopt kids because I'm a fag; and I'm getting old, and I feel like a sterile mare.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:05:35-07:00

i just came home from holiday, i will not see my mother again until this time next year, on the plane home i caught pleb-lurgy and am now ill.

the only sleep i got was on the floor of amsterdam airport being stared at by fat dutchmen.

i am angry and ill. the fuckers who i ordered a curry from came an hour late.

i NEED to stop failing and start moving forward.

also how fucking terrible is Smallville?
really?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:08:17-07:00

This is the first open mic I've been able to post on for weeks, which is fortunate as I'm housesitting for friends and I think the novelty is just started to wear off.

Anyway, plans? Well, I've just become an Uncle, which feels very nice so far. I actually get to meet the sprog next week, which I'm looking forward to. It also serves as a great oportunity to set my Uncle Plan in place, starting by giving her the painting I did for her. Hopefully she'll like it, once she's old enough. Because that's a plan, now. I need to be a cool uncle - a spinner of yarns, a teacher of tricks, a bringer of gifts from strange lands, a lender of advice and all that other good stuff. Should be fun.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:08:20-07:00

I finished my first short story since October, and it felt fine. It was about two naked people.

No picture tonight; I look sloppy.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:09:31-07:00

I'm tired of getting shortlisted in jobs but not getting the damn jobs. Feedback so far has included: I do not make constant eye contact during interviews (um, a) I make eye contact and b) is it just me, or is constant eye contact kind of creepy?) and I don't have enough commercial law experience. Quite how I'm suppose to get more experience when I can't get hired because of my supposed lack of experience, I don't quite know. And it's not like corp law is massively different to the Bar, from a librarian pov. But hey. I'm just sending my CV out into the ether now and something will happen because fuck it, I have l33t skillz and am awesome, dammit!

Finally got the last of the essays for my MSc. in today - I missed the original deadlines when my uncle passed away suddenly in April and so was allowed to retake them as if it was the first time - which is a fucking weight off my shoulders. Tomorrow I go corset shopping because I have the chance to be an extra in Amanda Palmer's next video and my other half and I are hitting Torture Garden in Brighton in a couple weeks time, both of which totally justify the purchase of a shiny new corset, dammit.

I plan to poke my life and 2008 sharply in the squishy bits until they start behaving in a manner I feel is far more suitable for me.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:15:07-07:00

From Zombie Walk, care of my talented friend Gerald Deo:

The world is shit because the idiots are winning , the Canadian Liberal party is a bunch of weak-willed poltroons, and Stephen Harper will hold power until the sun goes out. Also because Obama is polling even with McCain. How is that possible?

The world is wonderful because I get to go to two comics shows with a pretty girl this weekend, I was out at a ridiculous bar last night watching a small, bald man with a hint of a Irish accent hold a pool table for three hours straight, I finally found some good dance music for my show at Hush in three weeks, I had leftover lamb for breakfat, and it's sunny.

My plans involve taking 7 classes at the University of Victoria and trying not to die. Heaven help me.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:15:59-07:00

just woke up from a long night of being drunk on southern comfort - it seems to be my poison of late.

that was @ a Denny's. There was no way he was getting out, as he was jammed in there pretty tight.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:17:21-07:00

@Halcyonday:

Torture Garden? Heh, I'll be at that! I'll be the beardy guy in the labcoat and collar!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:19:58-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week.
Stuff. And things. Yes, I'm being that specific tonight.

Explain to me why the world is shit.
Nescafe haven't invented Instant FuckBuddy; just add water.

Confess your sins.
Because I can write reports for work all day (today, that is) and the words flow like water... and then I try to write fiction tonight for the first time in ages... and it's shit.

Get something off your chest.
I know the old line about "anyone who wants to run for office should be barred from doing so", but why have British politicians never nailed that line between "enjoying the job" and "being a smug bastard"? Seriously - either they look like they're chewing a wasp... or they look like they're doing us a favour deigning to talk to us.

Tell me a plan.
Work. I never said it was a good plan.

Tell me what's in your head. I want to know.
Very boring stuff. Work stuff. You don't want to know.

Picture? If you insist. Me, five mins ago:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:22:26-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week.

Midwest cops are pissing me off this week. They randomly pull over people and harass them about drug trafficking. I was a victim of this arrogance about ten years ago and a couple of my good friends traveling this past week were subject to the same thing. I tell you; If you have to travel through any state from North Dakota to Texas here in the States, you almost have to be ready for a fucking cavity search.

Tell me a plan.

Hopefully by this time tomorrow I will create an album cover for a band that does not exist, complete with folding center. I think the band-name will be 'Chemotherapy Brothers'. Wish me luck...

I am also drinking and locked in a small room with you.

What are you drinking? Can I have some?

A picture for the guy as old as me...

And just in case you missed the Onion this week...

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:23:20-07:00

@curb - awesome! I'll keep an eye out. I'll be probably wandering around as a 1940s style dominatrix, retro kink and all. May or may not have my other half on his leash (which, you know, at TG, narrows it down so much, heh.) depending on his outfit choice.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:23:44-07:00

A picture for the Master :

What's new? The fact of the week is that I will receive Mr Ben Templesmith in my bookstore, in Paris, France, this september.
//happy !!!

And... I have to tell that I'm sorry, Warren. Once again.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:23:48-07:00

This weekend is Fan Expo, the big honkin' comic convention of the year in Toronto. Through the magic of Twitter, I managed to connect with Oneiros. It went kind of like this:

Oneiros: "Hey, are you coming to Fan Expo?"
Elana: "Yes and I'll be wearing my brand new No Hero t-shirt, bitchezzzzz"
Oneiros: "I'll be rocking the Freakangels t-shirt"
Elana: "OPEN MIC THREAD"

He came up to my store's booth at the show and just pointed to his t-shirt, and I was like, "Are you...???!!" and he was like, "Yes!!" and I scrambled out of the booth and got my coworker to snap a photo.

It was awesome. Whitechapel/Twitter/Reality crossover events are like way better than comics crossovers.

He also gave me two Freakangels temporary tattoos that his friend gave him from SDCC, so I'm very excited to feature them in next month's Self Portrait imagethread.

This is us looking fabulously dorky under terribly unflattering overhead con lights:

(taken with my iPhone by my friend Alec)

We were obviously the coolest people there. Or at least we won the Best Walking Billboards Award.

Thanks for being the highlight of my Friday, Oneiros! Although I was probably not the highlight of his, since he was actually a visitor and not an exhibitor and was able to do much more fun things, like meet Matt Fraction. I would have loved to confess my auditory wide-on for Steven Jay Blum's voice to him, he was there (voice actor for Spike Spiegel of Cowboy Bebop), but I just couldn't get away from the booth long enough to line up for any of the guests. I was also kind of jonesing to tell Samwise Gamgee that I loved and trusted him even when he was playing a procedural jackass in 24. And tell Brent Spiner that he played an essential role in my childhood. But oh well. I'm mostly happy that I didn't pass out from lack of sleep and hunger while hauling boxes of junk around concrete floors for twelve hours.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:23:55-07:00

in wasting air

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:24:29-07:00

The world is shit in its usual way - the Doug Adams "despite all the cool stuff we've made, we're still stupid monkeys" kind of way, you know. There are probably some more reasons, but I've actually nailed most of my task list for the day, and so

The joys of the creative/part-freelance life aside, I've discovered that working fifteen hours a day seven days a week (with sporadic breaks for drinking and loud music) keeps me too busy to contemplate the fact that I'm bloody lonely. It's like a positive Catch-22.

But hey - this time next week I'll be in Berlin, which is going to be righteous. If anyone has any recommendations for some good low-culture haunts - I'm thinking bars, loud gigs, non-gallery art, interesting people, mad scenes, that sort of thing - I'd appreciate some tips.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:29:23-07:00

I seem to be about to enact a coup-de-etat at work without meaning to do it. I am the Accidental Napoleon.

Best-friend-and-now-housemate is down shore this weekend, and I could've gone with, but demonic female hormones have massed on the borders of my brain with tanks and bombs and are forcing me to stay home and nest. I just vacuumed the stairs. There are a lot of them, and they are covered in cat hair. Well, not so much, anymore. Also is laundry, and finding somewhere to stick a bunch of contractor equipment so we aren't tripping over it in the foyer, and trying to figure out how to fit all of her booze & bar stuff and all of my booze & bar stuff in a credenza that wasn't even big enough to fit hers in the first place. This looks like a job for SCIENCE!~ Or perhaps a drunken debauch that would make hardened libertines blanch and quake.

When, O when will my libido return from hiding? Heal me, Internet Jesus!

One of the cats, usually a very froward alpha boy, has been very quiet and withdrawn the last day or so and is mostly just sitting in the (clean) litterbox looking unhappy. I'm worried about him, and we'll probably have to take him to the vet Monday when they're open. Here's a picture of him with his more usual attitude:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:32:14-07:00

Moving is grand, packing is shit.

I am now exactly one week from quitting a truly crap job in rural Northern California to move to San Jose without much in the way of a plan. My wife is down there now teaching theater and making arrangements while it is my job to enclose our lives in cardboard.

I've been at it for two weeks, but tonight is not the night for packing, it is a night for sitting on the floor in my living room, drinking an entire bottle of red-wine and playing bioshock.

Presently I am trapped at work, filled with bile and hangover and trying to write a soft feature about a public art dedication without it coming off as too snide. I have about an hours worth of work to do and an eight-hour shift to do it in. This is fail.

I've been taking my writing incrementally, this week has been for working on clever dialogue, something I have never been great at (damn you Sorkin!) I honestly think I'm getting better, but I'm not sure I'de really be able to tell.

I'm having recurring dreams about hurling one of my coworkers across the room and then dashing his head against the ground like you would a baby. I'm wondering if this is errant frustration leaking into my subconscious or a portent of the future.

I wonder how fast I can make it to the county line?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:36:23-07:00

I have cake, and a sun tan, and one of my best friends is 90% sure to move right next door. This means we could connect our yards and buy a goat.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:39:26-07:00

All I want to do is write but all I do is go to my minimum wage retail job where I make just as much as other people who don't show up as often as I do. When I come home to my apartment where, I sleep in the living room while my two roommates enjoy their own privacy, all I really want to do is fall on the floor and sleep.

Thankfully, most nights I forgo sleep and actually DO write and draw (Horribly), while a good movie plays in the background or while I have some great music playing (Or, more often then not, old time radio shows playing!). Sure, my constant lack of sleep makes my shitty minimum wage job even shittier, but if I keep writing and drawing eventually I won't need that shitty job. At least, that's what I tell myself.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:40:31-07:00

just been so goddamned restless lately. moved in the last couple weeks. the new area's job market is beyond anemic, and im going gonzo because of it. also i'm trying the scour the the area for decent SF and just can't find a damn thing. i want good SF the type that challenges the old world while promising a hint that we might actually be making progress.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:41:35-07:00

I am sick n tired of administering. It sucks, SUCKS I tell ya! But on the bright side of the terminator, another of my PhD students passed his viva and a couple of decent reviews of one of my books came out. So, the devil is kept down in the hole for a little while longer.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:41:43-07:00

Have to admit, it's a crappy week for me. Far too much work for the man is cutting into the work I'm doing for myself. I never knew that making money through the employer-employment model was such a trap until the last few weeks.

Starting writing a new comic, had it half way done until I found out I broke the story wrong and currently rewriting the first act, which of course spills out. Probably the most excited I've been about a book in a while. I figure it may be 6 months before I even get it to a publisher.

My non-fiction book is stalled due to me needing to research a hell-of-a-lot-more. I mean, I'm getting filler pages done, but the real hard thinking needs to be correct. Annoying as hell but the more I research about it, the more my communication theory is pretty supported by recently published articles. However, I'm tired of reading people whine about Pinker and Evolutionary Psychology: the paradigm is over - get a new model of communication, academic tards.

Had some really great sex this week, tho. Too bad I don't know their names. Well, maybe not.

Enough of this whining maudlin shit. How's this for a rant:

If we've know things are going to change, and we know that the more we cling to traditions - no matter how stupid - why do we humans fear change the way we do? The traditions - these religions, organizations, belief structures, political parties, governments - they are not built to sustain a life of unending deltas from past to present. Why can't we develop a simple methodology that allows adaptation to change but supports our drive to think and express creatively? But NNOOOOOOoooo, we have to have lawyers and academics and police and political fleabags to fester on the wounds caused by change and develop economies like "reporting the news" to install fear about change.

For fucks sake, humanity cannot prevent change - our presence demands it occur and at the highest rate to benefit the individual making the change. Calculate the risks and jump for your life.

Rant off.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:49:05-07:00

Wierd thread. But it suits my mood.

Life is bad - for me. Yet - it's not really bad. Roof over my head. Money in the bank.

However I just feel - empty. The woman I love wants nothing to do with me - and it seems to have torn a hole in my world. And worse of all - I blame my self. We actually had something but I thought I needed a gap between partners and she promised to come back - and has gone away with someone else.

Ahhhhh. Self pitying clap trap - idiot boy.

But....despite it all. There's so much good. Don't get me wrong - part of me fears it could all explode and then I'd have something to worry about. But I've got mint, and honey, and green tea - so I can make my favourite (non-booze) drink. So how bad can it be.....

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:49:06-07:00

I've taken to wearing a helmet. Writing has become dangerous. My phobia concerning gravity has caused me to levitate.
While awaiting word from the mothership, I've taken to toiling with a few words of my own. It's a story, you see, which I can only describe as an absurd romp with tender moments...

---------------------------------

I have issues with poorly crafted toasters.
They malign your toast
They hold your bagels hostage
They're wanted in 51 states for what they did to the Eggo (it was so bad, if a new state is added, they'll automatically be wanted there)

I only toast my Ego. Leggo my Ego.

--------------------------

I believe our current president to be a rodeo clown who could never find the barrel.

--------------------------
This is what I looked like when I got back from HER house at 7AM. She left marks. Some apparent, some oh so sublime.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:49:23-07:00

I'm not so pissed today, I could be, but I'm rather calm right now. I'm soon to go out to eat with the only friend I know I can count on to hang out with (all the others are treacherous,shady people who are completely unreliable and never seem to want to hang out with me.) So fuck them, I'm sick of getting down about it.

The world is shit because yesterday was my 21st birthday and no one even offered to go out to a bar with me. So I sat at home with family, and my dad drank more then I did. Really, how many people have completely sober 21st birthdays? I'm not that big on drinking but christ it was boring.

I'm sure if I don't understand people, or they don't understand me. Is there some essential social characteristic I lack? Seriously, it confuses the hell out of me. But again fuck that,my mind never seems to get off that question and I'm sick of dwelling on these things.

The plan is to finish up the lyrics for one or two more songs, get my keyboard and start churning out some noise. I have an extreme lust for music and I can't play my drums all the time since they're too loud, so the keyboard will be my new project. Granted I can't even properly play my drums yet, but this is the plan and it shall be adhered to.

"If it is death we are doomed to reap, then what is it, which we should sow?" Does this make sense? I don't find it terribly original but I like the way it sounds and find it popping into my head from time to time.

I just want to talk to someone and be honest the entire time, and not have to think about what I say or what I might say. Conversations turn into strategic battles for me where I have to plan my moves in advance and hope I can come up with the right things to say in order to keep it going. But alas I am off to eat, I thank you Warren for at least I know that someone Loves me in that way.

From earlier this year, in a Chinese restaurant in philly.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:52:53-07:00

What's pissing me off?

Dragon*con. The comic track is not so hot again. There are a handful of great people there, and they let me be a guest in the Artist Alley, but there needs to be a bigger presence at a convention of this size. Sci-fi people like comics, right? And the webcomic panel is part of the EFF track and not the Comics track.

It's too olde skool for me. (And I'm 48 ferchrissake!)

I will talk to the dude(s) in charge of the track. Then if they don't fix it I'll at least have the right to whine.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T14:57:33-07:00

I hate it when people who think they know a lot about film start spouting off about for instance, yesterday, that Straw Dogs is akin to torture-porn. Sam Peckinpah was a director of great skill and he did a lot more than meditations on violence. But within those films is a great analysis of sociological factors and attention to codes of honor that can contribute to violence. Sigh. Really pisses me off.

Wish I had something more earth-shattering to report since this is my first post here, like about that body in the trunk the lime didn't quite get rid of (I joke, of course) - maybe next time.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:00:09-07:00

Whenever I leave my house keys out in the living room instead of taking them to my bedroom at night, I find that someone has switched the front door key with the back door. It might be my roommate. The consistency is to be admired.

When the world is shit, best to be beetles and roaches.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:00:40-07:00

I went to see Cory Doctorow and DJ Spooky on Thursday and it was every bit as inspiring and fucking killer as I could have hoped for.

Took Friday off from work and spent it in the best way possible, sitting in a bar/brick oven pizza place around the corner from where I live in Brooklyn and finishing up a new short play, which I've just now sat down to type up.

Sitting home, sipping some Magic Hat Circus Boy, listening to Mark Almond, and looking out onto Greenwood Cemetery where they just got done re-enacting "the Battle of Brooklyn."

It's a good evening so far.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:05:37-07:00

Bellowing tracksuit-clad neanderthals are fighting in the street outside. This is unremarkable, but the sudden fusillade of fireworks a few streets away that is providing the soundtrack makes for a nice touch.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:05:58-07:00

My first open mic

I'm struggling this is a fact full stop, I've just moved here to Bournemouth about a year ago now and can't seem to make any new friends! mostly because I don't have the cash to go out and watch some good music and meet new people because I'm supporting my growing family.

I love my kids I love my girlfriend and I like Bournemouth but other then writing a comic that I'm not even sure is any good and trolling over forums I don't have any life!
Christ how depressing! and even more depressing I feel like my friends in Jersey are starting to forget about me...........fuck not even sure if venting this is going to help me?

Look if there is anyone on here from Bournemouth give me a shout

And this might sound like i'm kissing ass, but cheers Warren your comunity you have here is helping me hold things together I owe you a stella or what ever you drink

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:09:31-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week. Explain to me why the world is shit. Confess your sins. Get something off your chest. Tell me a plan. Tell me what's in your head. I want to know. On Saturday nights I am your ear and your confessor and your audience.

I must say that 99% of modern people are idiots. I can't speak for the people that live in tribes in remote placs of Brazil or Africa, but most people I do not simply want to deal with. However, they are necessary to livebecause I wouldn't have most of the things I would now if the population was to simply be as small as in Stephen King's The Stand. A necessary evil I guess.

A small short story I wrote called The Battle of 87: El Magnifico Cerdo VS. Bazooka Two-Arms is on Weaponizer. It's great to see something I worked on actually being appreciated.

One of my closest, and oddest, friends is over tonight so we can play some video games and just simply hang out and talk about the Olympics and all the weird things that have happened in our area in the last two days, which include a middle school teacher almost decapitating his wife's head off and an attractive 24 year old teacher from the local high school getting caught (not actually in the act, but that would have made it juicier and funnier) having sex with a 15 year old student.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:15:13-07:00

lean back and try to smile for the webcam:

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week.
There was an exodus this weekend, of people going to Burning Man. My roommate is one of them. The amount of effort that goes into Burning Man irks me. I get the ethos, it's just cloying the amount of waste and energy and duplicated infrastructure goes into duplicating basic camping facilities and privacy, for, as far as I can tell, no reason.
It's not as if they couldn't establish a high-capacity campground somewhere in the Mojave or something for the money they fucking spend.
I went in 2000, and it was interesting, on a personal and sociological level, but it just seems kind of bread and circuses, caligula, court of the Sun King level of self-aggrandizement, and that makes me wary.

Explain to me why the world is shit.
Shai fucking Agassi has gotten Israel to sponsor his electric cars thing. I met Agassi, back when he was at SAP in 2004. He's hot shit in a suit, and his ideas are fourth-hand ripoffs of others, but he can work a room, and he's got that particularl sharky kind of sociopathy that institutional investors interpret as the attitude of success. So he's getting his millions and installing his nepotistic shit into the governmental embrace of Israel, and Renault is going to make sure that it spreads to other countries, so they can keep selling their model lines.

And I can't help but be pleased that it's happening at all. Because Tesla fucking Motors wasn't going to make a dent in anything but the curiosity market. But GM will see Renault as coming for their shit, and they'll have to develop defensive product lines. And so it starts, 8 years after it should have, if CARB had stuck to their goddamn guns.

Confess your sins.
I lie to my friends that don't like each other, because I don't feel like arbitrating their shit. I figure they'll either work it out, or cut off from their current friend eventually, so why should I stop hanging out/talking with either of them before I know who's going to do what? But I don't want to deal with friction either, so I make sure it doesn't come up.

Get something off your chest.
They're just comics, they're just movies, they're just books, they're just tv shows. I talk to people online who are passionate about things I'm interested in. I just wish there were more that were passionate about some of the things on my list that fit under my "doing things" column, instead of my "light entertainment before I go to sleep" column.

Tell me a plan.
I'm going to make an MMO game that reverse captcha's activities and sells the output to vendors, like mechanical turk, only hidden in gameplay. People might as well be grading audit reports while they're killing orcs looking for the one that drops the red pen amulet.

Tell me what's in your head.
I'm trying to avoid writing in someone else's sandbox for this year's NaNoWriMo, but it's hard. Maybe I'd find my own universes of characters more interesting if I got some other writers to guest in them?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:16:18-07:00

I would like to go dancing in Big Clompy Shoes, but the clockwork bits of my brain would get sproinged so I will sit here and edit this piece of retrofuturist NeoVictorian silliness instead.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:16:40-07:00

Goodness. I'm only waking up with my first cup of coffee and it's Open Mic Night time...

1. The only human being I see on a monthly basis (or speak to weekly) is on vacation for a week and a half. I realised yesterday, that if I suddenly had some sort of brain embelism and fell to the ground in a mouth-frothy twitching state, nobody would notice... nobody would find my body for weeks.

2. My only remaining working computer has a wiggly headphone port issue going on, which means neither plugged in speakers/headphphones, nor the internal speakers of the notebook itself, work. I have no sound. No movies or television to be entertained by, no music to listen to. Therefore I am catching up on the latest Doctor Who audio plays and putting them on my crappy little 512mb MP3 player, one at a time... so that I have something to distract myself with while I scrape the wax off my bathroom linoleum (and try to find Wordpress plulgins - or the means to do it myself - that combine auto-generating mutliple Flickr set thumbnail galleries of private photos with either lightbox and/or autoviewer).

3. I keep going through Chasing Amy moments lately, trying to sort my sexual past... which really, isn't as extensive as it might seem. Having tallied the numbers, and asked my friends, I seem to have had less encounters than almost anyone I know. My "score" isn't as low as it could be, sure, but it's less than Carla Bruni's... though, granted, she's got a number of years head start on me. I'm realising that these past few years I've become more and more chaste, more modest, more personally withdrawn.

Here is a photograph of me that I did not take:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:16:56-07:00

Haven't spoken to anybody real for at least a week (cashiers don't count – on the job they're just glorified vending machines), have enjoyed spending time at my parents house while they're on a trip. There are real trees here and everything! Birds! Frogs three layers thick!

My back has been playing up a bit the last few weeks. I can't tell if it's getting better or worse. Time will have to tell if they managed to get everything this time. Two years seems to be about the limit for my reserves of optimism. At least I can still walk, and don't crap myself.

And hey, the phrase Spinal Cord Tumor is a chick magnet, I can tell you.

So I got a nice shiny new physics textbook this week, and have started 'hitting the books' again, as they say. If all goes well perhaps I'll finally enrol at the University in february.

Television bores me. Have started reading KSR's Mars Trilogy again. Somehow mars colonization always gets me dreamy.

Been thinking of taking up scuba diving. Anyone here an avid diver?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:17:56-07:00

Banging my head on my keyboard for most of the afternoon has produced an acceptable approach to the tricksy bit of exposition that has plagued the first act of the graphic serial I'm scripting. Kudos to me.

Unfortunately, a broken refrigerator + two roommates who are, respectively, blindingly obtuse to the realities of life and engaged in deviant intercourse with refugees from a cancer ward on the other side of my bedroom wall (the third roomie joins me in my suffering) + a girlfriend living two hundred miles away who's rapidly approaching the end of her tether as her sublet expires out from under her + a day job truly Sisyphean in its pointlessness = PK Not Having A Great Week.

But I shouldn't complain. At least I'm not on fire.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:18:32-07:00

Damned rubbish week. One bit of light is that I've probably got the mortgage sorted, or at least stabilised, so that we're not going to have to live under a tarpaulin, foraging for nettles and roadkill at least in the next six months. If there's a condition that's a sort of financial dyslexia, I have it, I'm a walking Enron microcosm. It's making me extremely irritable and I'm feeling sorry for any bastard that ends up having to endure me.

Future plans? DIY lobotomy.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:23:24-07:00

Ah...my first open mic night.

I have decided that I pretty much hate everyone. This realization is born of a deep, intense hatred for the guy who is supposedly by boss and who I swear I will kill one of these days if he doesn't back the fuck off. The only person who I could rant to has left the job and its getting pretty hard to get through the day without her goading me on and encouraging me not to go insane.

Also, the cat is acting weird. She was fine a minute ago but then attacked me from behind the TV and ensured that I'm not about to get any sleep anytime soon. Still, at least I have my health. For now.

Horrible week to try and give up smoking. Again.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:25:37-07:00

Haven't been here for a while so just thought I'd put a couple of things down on here. Firstly the bad:

About two hours ago, I just found out that an old girlfriend commited suicide. I was told this in a message thru facebook. She killed herself two years ago and I just found out tonight.

This is how well i have managed in putting a barrier between the me of now and the me of six years ago.

I was simply asking someone who located me thru FB if they still spoke to anyone from our old place of employment and in reply he said he still spoke to a couple of people and by the way did you know that this particular woman was dead? Since he was the person who pretty much got us together, it was pretty odd.

The relationship wasn't that long, but fun whilst it lasted, but we drifted apart really quickly (so quickly I moved to London and forgot to call her and let her know. I finally did, five months later). She was, in all truth, a fat goth. She was pretty dirty (in the right ways, and she managed to shock me a few times with how... sexual she was for a fat lass), and enjoyed dropping e's with me, so it was cool...

I hope this doesn't bum out anyones evening, but I'm now drinking peach scnapps which was her favourite drink as i think about her.

Now the GOOD part: like I said, I haven't been on Whitechapel for a while because I've been trying to kick my Ketamine habit. I've mentioned this a couple of times on here, how even after becoming a dad and giving up nearly everything, I was still doing a gram of K a fortnight, and was hiding it from my wife.

So, about six weeks ago we had a massive row about being skint and I went on a whisky/K bender and generally fucked everything up for a few days, then came clean to my wife and dad. My dad paid for me, my wife and my best friend to go to a cottage for a week (without the two year old) whilst my wife and best friend laid out the ultimatum of 'Sort it out, you fuck up, or you lose your wife and daughter' I promised to try and now its six weeks and the utter FEAR of losing the two people I love the most means I've not snorted a bump or line since.

I know its hardly Trainspotting or Requiem for a Dream, but every called me earlier today and told me how proud they are (friends mainly, I've kept this from my in-laws and my mum, brother and sister).

So the high I got from everyone being proud I'm not a complete fuck up, was made weird by the finding out my ex committed suicide.

Anyway... Hope I've not brought anyone down, but thought you might like to know, Warren, since I was even mentioning Ketamine on The Engine, and everyone here, beacuse I like to think we're big weird family...

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:29:24-07:00

Hah! I knew there was a reason people used to avoid me in dimly lit streets!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:32:40-07:00

About two hours ago, I just found out that an old girlfriend committed suicide. I was told this in a message thru facebook. She killed herself two years ago and I just found out tonight.

Sorry to hear that.

Good job with your progress so far; keep going with the sobriety.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:41:45-07:00

@ babymole -

Having to face this kind of grim reality with certain sobrieties so fresh and wobbly is harsh to be sure... but being able to pull through this is only making you stronger and more resiliant in the long run. You deserve to feel the high from others' pride even more at this moment.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:44:00-07:00

My girlfriend broke up with me after almost six years. It's been a month since the actual breaking up happened and I'm still not ok talking about it, but it's time. We had a great, beautiful relationship (really, we did), but it's over. It's a shame all right, but I'm dealing with it the best I can. The fact that I can't drink no more is making all this process much more difficult.

On a lighter note, I'm working like crazy. Never had this much work in years. And it's been heaven to be able to sink in and just let all the other shit that's pissing me off outside of the work room. In here it's just me, my tablet, my computer and Mr. Ellis.

Yes, in that way.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:44:33-07:00

Paychecks didn't arrive as scheduled, for the second time in a row. Clearly an untenable situation.

A day that starts off with walking in the Southern California sunshine for an hour listening solely to Warren Zevon and James McMurtry can only go one of a few ways.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:49:03-07:00

I've just been broken up with over horny emails with a couple of my women friend.

I know I'm in the wrong but is it cheating?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:49:05-07:00

Hey, Warren.

I'm pissed at one of my parent's inability to deal with some very serious health problems. I'm pissed that the other parent isn't emotionally strong enough to provide support. I'm pissed that they keep telling me to not worry about it, like I'm still 10 years old, and I'm pissed that neither of my siblings have any compassion or can stop being petty enough to join me in trying to talk some sense into them, but one of them is more than happy to call me occasionally to just freak out about it all.

I want to stop talking to all of them. But I have all the compassion that the rest of the family lacks, apparently.

And everyone else wants some piece of me, a book cover, a website, a class, some other thing that I wouldn't mind doing if they'd all stop asking all at once.

The rest is promotions, paint, getting a blog moving paintedcomics.com/painttalk and another website off the ground www.blooddreams.com

And the kittens are coming along wonderfully.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:50:12-07:00

Well...

For the past few months I've been pursuing a girl. The problem is that this girl lives with her boyfriend. She's confessed to me that she's not in love with him -- doesn't think she ever was -- and refers to him with some regularity as "idiot" or "jealous nutcase." I think I'm correct in assuming that her relationship is unhealthy.

Also, I think I'm correct in assuming that pursuing this girl is unhealthy, although this is unlikely to stop me.

I'm one for playing long odds, me.

Today, I discovered that the place where I've been living -- the empty condo belonging to my grandmother's estate -- has sold, meaning that I'll be homeless at the end of September.

I need to find my way into the eye of the shitstorm long enough to reassess and figure out what the fuck I'm doing. This should probably be seen as an opportunity to cut ties with unhealthy-and-attached girl and move to Chicago. Speaking of, here I am on a visit there last weekend. Oprah lives in the building behind me:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T15:53:31-07:00

@ RachaelNoel

Ta. Your words are greatly recieved. Also, I just looked at your website and your photo's are rockin'.

It also took me three attempts to spell 'recieved' and I'm still not sure if i spelt it correctly.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:03:01-07:00

@babymole

You didn't. "Received."

My roommate is a punk-poser-douche who has the most annoying almost-lisp I've ever heard. His friend has the highest voice (apart from castratos and pre-pubescent boys) I've heard in a male. The girl he brings over once in a while has a triangular mouth. These people come and go at all hours of the night, stealing my water and making just enough noise to wake me up but not enough for me to be awake enough to say anything other than "Brbbllgggrrhhhaaaagh." Also, I have no friends. I'm thinking about a therapist, but I don't think a negative income can support that. This is my life.

On a lighter note, just had a VMP. Always heavenly.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:15:23-07:00

Damn you get whiney whingey types here.
Yes the world is shit. For the most part, this is as I still don't have my jet pack. But, if you think things are unbearable as you have no friends, maybe wash more.
Or, perhaps you could invent some. OK, I'll be your friend. As long as I don;t have to actually meet you, or offer too much in the way of communication, then come one and all, let's have a little dance shall we?
My plan is already in motion. The room is certainly spinning in any case.
Ah, chocolate internet jesus, -where would we be without your benevolent ways?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:16:28-07:00

Just got done playing a thrilling game of "What the Hell Did I Just Step In?", while walking in my apartment. Prime suspect for providing mystery substance is the tiny canine currently lurking about, but other humans residing in this corner of the world are under suspicion as well.

The fact that I was barefoot during this game means that the guilty parties will suffer penalties swifter and more devastating then normal. Speak to me not of the Geneva Convention. It has no jurisdiction in these issues.

Currently enjoying digital cable and internet, the former of which lets me fast forward through the truck ads and boner pill commercials, and get right to the parts where Batman punches ninjas in the face. The latter is giving me sports scores, girlie pictures and music from countries I don't live in. Hooray for the future. The only thing we needed to bring it about was hiding aliens that crashed in New Mexico and taking their stuff. Now stop putting logos on the bottom of my god damn TV shows. I'm not going to watch Primeval.

Been drinking whiskey exclusively when the time is right. For health. It makes sense when you think about it. Whitechapel should issue "Live Strong" bracelets, but in black that say "A Drink Must Be Forthcoming".

Saw three fights last night on Clark Street. It's been a banner week for crooks and lunatics. Some form of bad juju descended upon this city. The plan is to learn a particularly vicious form of Brazilian jiu jitsu to amplify the natural fighting instincts. I'll be catching bullets and bending limbs in no time. You watch.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:23:03-07:00

Venturing out on first social occasion tomorrow since being diagnosed bipolar 18 months ago. Will be amongst non-bastard freiends but I'm still starting to feel the fear.

Watching the pod people from the window and brushing hurridly past them in the supermarket is one thing, but standing shoulder to shoulder in a public drinking house is quite another. It really could be something great, or the last viscious storm of the summer. Going to grit the teeth and trust in the chemicals.

Such a sweaty limbo evening, feels like I'm am airport lounge or waiting for test results.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:23:51-07:00

Spent the last week thinking about nothing but zombies.
Had the chance to get a gig with a zombie story. Came up with one, half way through thought of another, same thing happened all week and now I've got 4 new ideas begging to be turned into full stories that I'm trying to ignore as I've already sent off five in six days.

Plus, my brother gave me his bastard cold and due to having ME, my immune system is a piece of shit and I'll get to spend a good 24 hours curled up in a duvet feeling like shit and swearing at anyone who tries to make me leave my pit of pestilence and darkness. No doubt I will grab a Tesco bag and proceed to fill it with snot covered tissues before declaring it the latest Plague Bag and carrying it everywhere with me for the next three days.
Hoo-fucking-ray!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:24:42-07:00

Why does fruit-flavored gum exist?

And why do they insist on putting such misbegotten creations right next to the mint gum?

And why can I never recognize my horrible mistake till I am sitting at my computer, chewing nuclear-green watermelon horror instead of sublime spearmint?

I'll try to work on the quality of my complaints for next week.*

*(Though I am having trouble concentrating after you swore revenge for my kawaii Warren Ellis sketch. But it's such fearful excitement that makes life worth living sometimes. I think.)

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:25:56-07:00

I did, however, see The Machine Girl today and thought it great.

'Do you like my drill bra?'

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:28:50-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week. People who are only tough over the telephone. Sure, you can curse me out all you want with distance between us. Do it to my face, then we'll see what happens.
Explain to me why the world is shit. Because these people hang up the phone, and go about their day thinking the are the SHIT, and no one is around to punch them in the throat and tell them the truth.
Tell me what's in your head. Trying to work out how to deliver bowel-liquefying electric shocks through the phone.
Here's me a couple minutes ago-

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:32:57-07:00

i missed out on last weeks open mic because a fucking cop stopped me. He said i ran a stop sign. I slowed down for it enough, but not a COMPLETE stop.
Dark, quiet street and suddenly I get a blast of flashy lights. What a mother fucker, those shitheads need to get their priorities straight.

Anyway, my mom has been away in mexico all week because grandma was feeling sick, plus she's getting up there and my mom is the only one of her family who's living in the U.S. and bla bla bla. Mom says gramma is better now, mom says she's coming back maybe sunday.
In all that time well I worked through the whole week to keep the money coming in. And playing my music loud at night because fuck the neighbors, we pay the most rent. eat me, eat me, EAT ME!!

This shithead I work with in sales thought he could boss me around but as soon as I showed him I don't take shit he backs off and talks LOW like a scared shit. me 23, him like 36 or something. Should give you an idea how pathetic he is.

My double life has arisen yet again: work all day, get home and turn into the one-man comic squad. Currently lettering my next thing. Been a while since I lettered my comics, so it is long and arduous but rewarding as FUCK. I get tingly and can't wait to share it with people. Don't want a movie or any of that shit, I'm unhinged and all I care about is giving people something new.

Been wearing jeans again, but sometimes when I sit they hug my nuts. I shaved them this morning, problem solved!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:33:19-07:00

I'm not pissed off for once, despite how shit things tend to be. Why? because the Edinburgh Fringe Fucking Festival is over in 2 days time. That means this time on monday night, I'll be all done, no more shows to watch, no more reviews to write, nothing. I can finally sit down and watch mindless shite on tv for a few minutes and not feel guiltily that I have something I ought to be doing.
I've seen 54 shows, this year. Not bad since I had 70 odd to see, a few were cancelled a few were arsey about giving out press tickets and the last couple I can't be bothered seeing. I still have 8 reviews to write, and all day tommorrow to do it.

My other source of constant pain, the X is as usual being a psychotic attention-whore. But that isn't bothering me because frankly, I just couldn't give a toss because I'm used to her shenanigans and it's beneath me.

What has been interesting me recently was the time-eating xbox game Braid. Think Super Mario but with time-fuckabootery and a thinly veiled subtext for spousal abuse and the atom bomb.

So for now, I'm drinking a 3 litre bottle of red wine on my own and I'm feeling Breezy. (yes I feel bad about this visual pun)

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:40:14-07:00

I'm actually going out and being social tonight, so this will be quick, but I wanted to get something in before I left.

I'm really disappointed at the way everyone I know seems to be nitpicking the hell out of Barack Obama's campaign recently. It's like people expected it to be perfect, and all our problems to be solved the second the guy got elected. It was never going to be anything than a change for the better, and probably a pretty slight one at that. Now I feel like pretty much everyone I talk to is ready to take their ball and go home, and it's like: oh great! I'm sure letting all the John McCain people carry the day will be a lot better!

I mean, honestly, I'd love to have the world be a great place as much as the next guy, but there's something to be said for pragmatism and for picking the thing that's better than the other thing even if it's not the best thing ever.

OK, that's all from me. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:43:28-07:00

Impromptu, digital prostate exam. It's still there.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:44:20-07:00

I am slightly startled at my weekend. Turns out the little comic book reader for the iPhone which was all about the content, is as much about the reader as the content. Interesting days ahead, I think.

BUT I am also doing this:

-pj

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:50:50-07:00

that is looking good, PJ. also, I quit.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T16:52:23-07:00

colonel finn -looking fine once more, but pj: why you looky so sad??

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:00:46-07:00

Muxtape, NOOOOO! Why are you being fucked over? You seemed so very beneficial for the artists too. It really pisses me off.

Reading a lot of Faulkner lately, mostly Light in August. Slow going, makes me want to sleep, but I enjoy it.

Need a second job. Talked to a rich man on public transportation the other day. Gave me his card and told me to give him my resume, maybe something good will come of it. From my experience the only thing old, rich dudes want from the likes of me is to reach into their pockets. And you know what's in their pockets? Nothing, well... A hole that leads to their...

Finished two issues of my Zombie-detective-noir comic I've been self publishing, gonna send them off to a POD service Monday. Maybe I can up my circulation from 10 to 12. This being my first comic I've learned a lot, not only about writing, but also publishing in general, along with editing and dealing with artists. This being my first comic it also hasn't come out exactly as I wanted... But hey, now I know what to do to avoid all the mistakes I made next time! Maybe!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:01:41-07:00

@chris g - Cheers, I NEVER know where to start a page like that, so I just kind block in the big bits and go from there... hoping that, towards the end, it'll start making some sort of sense... Also: ALL artists are constantly going 'I quit' - it's a normal part of the process :)
@alice - Cus normally, I'm grinning like a LOON (Also: trying to make sure artwork covered up childish curtains that are a hold over from when my office was my son's bedroom, so that may be a look of concentration...)

- pj

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:06:11-07:00

Thank you for the reminder via Bad Signal, Internet Jesus. I forget what day it is sometimes and thus remember Open Mic 36 hours too late, much as I remember most important things in my life.

News and Plans: A project has an artist attached. I cannot tell you how excited this makes me because I cannot draw to save my life, so any attempts I have made to draw my own material make even me laugh and throw things at myself. DragonCon is approaching. We are announcing the project there. We are hosting another late night film fest and have upgraded to a 1500 seat venue. I am doing far too many panels. My voice will be a smoking crater by Sunday evening.

Needcoffee.com managed to get three big traffic boosts this week. This was a Good Thing.

The day job is still trying to kill me, but I am about to break out the steak knives.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:07:20-07:00

Hellboy 2 is indescribably bad. I guess the well advertised respect for the source material didn't count for anything. Might as well call it Poolboy and get even more comic reliefs out of it.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:19:47-07:00

@elana, i'm glad you had fun! i had a few friends going but don't do the festival thing so good myself.

i'm going to a fetish party soon. i can't be arsed to dig out a corset so i'm pulling a Maggie Gyllenhaal Naughty Secretary thing. i'm not wearing underwear, though - that's about as filthy as i can manage right now.

truth be told i'd rather go for an uneventful drive with love-of-life-boy, but he missed his chance earlier, and i'm not the type to pull out of plans with friends.
i did run into noncommittal-sex-boy earlier today, too. amusing.

nothing is up. everything is the same. i started self-medicating this week, in a desperate bid to avoid therapy. i'll be sure to keep you all posted. also i filled out an application to be an egg donor, because i like the idea and could use the money.

i may never, in fact, find the motivation for the things i plan to do, so i'm putting together a contingency plan to live vicariously through my own fantasies of success.

i bought a horse-riding helmet this week (my friend sandra will be supplying me with the other accoutrements for the photo shoot next weekend):

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:22:53-07:00

Random bits this time.

Just bought a new front storm door for my house. It's sitting in the garage waiting for the guy I've hired to come around next week and install it. No, I ain't no fucking handy-man, even though my family thinks so for some reason.

Like Obama's supporters, I'm worried the dude is going to lose the election. Not because I like the guy, but because Obama supporters need a life lesson.

McCain supporters are incapable of learning anything, so fuck 'em.

My 82-year-old mother has been in the hospital for three weeks, recuperating from a broken collar bone she suffered in a fall. When you're 82, a broken bone is a real big deal.

And I've only called her once. Yeah, I've been busy, but the real reason is I don't know what to say to her (we haven't lived within 200 miles of each other for 30 years), and thinking about her being so close to the grave just depresses the hell out of me. I'm a shit son.

I'll call her tomorrow. Yes.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:25:35-07:00

I got my wisdom teeth out

I slept over 20 hours the last 2 days and haven't been able to eat much. the medicine makes me sick and i kind of want to rip my jaw out. but that's about it

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:27:42-07:00

GENTLEMEN.

I'm still at work, slurping on surgarfree Red Bull and trying to focus on what I'll be painting when I finally, finally get home. I slept about two hours last night, following a stint working floor at the DNA Lounge. Got up early to paint, and may have ruined one of my flagship pieces for this show. I couldn't tell in the morning blur.

I've got that show, and a solo show (also in Seattle) both during September. It's atelier triage at this point, choosing whom to sacrifice for the sake of completing another. Horrific, mind-numbing, highly motivational stress.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:38:36-07:00

I'm stuck in the house this weekend, no gas to spare for a while. Just received a letter in the mail that says I'm being audited for claiming head of household. I'm a single mother, it's just my son and I in the house, I don't see how I wouldn't be able to claim HOH. Reading through it though, I think I'll be ok.

I think I may be on Twitter a bit too much these days, I'm starting to have dreams of people with normal bodies, but their icons as heads.

Work is a bit dull, repetitive, but it's a steady paycheck and I am on the computer all day with an incredibly fast internet connection. Count your blessings, kinda. One of our therapists (Physical therapy clinic) has a band, will be playing at a local bar/restaurant (?). Might go check that out, with some girlfriends. They'll drive :)

Well, I guess my contribution is rather beige compared to some up there, but no news is good news, right?

Here's me, angry at the Franchise Tax Board.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:43:01-07:00

I've been a dirty old man since I was twelve - forty-five years ago.

No wonder I'm sodding tired!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:44:14-07:00

I spend my weekdays pissed, enough to write volumes on, but none of that this Saturday.

My brain has shut down for the weekend.

I burned a sick ((cough cough?)) day Tuesday to attempt to clean my apartment. Yeah. I'm a wild one. You know all those stories about archaeologists excavating tombs that are hundreds or thousands of years old, and afterwards they all start dying because they didn't realize they were walking into dark, damp, closed-from-the-world-for-a-gajillion-years places that are wonderful incubators for all sorts of molds, fungii, and other creepy bitty things the likes of which humanity hasn't seen for hundreds or thousands of years and therefore possess no antibodies for? Well. I'm fairly certain that this phenomenon is akin to cleaning my apartment. Opening boxes that have been closed for a millennia, sifting through clothing made and buried since the mid-1300s (ZOMG! I have dozens of unworn Lip Service dresses! I wonder if they fit...), I inadvertently awoke deadly civilizations that have been growing and flourishing untouched for thousands of years. And they are angry with me. They have turned me into one big, sniffly, coughing, groggy, bleary eyed Allergy Uv DOOM.

So I take picture for you, yes?

I'm upside down so as you scroll down past this entry, I can still keep an eye on you.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:47:15-07:00

@Sara 013 Loving the steampunk watch (or at least I assume it's a watch?)

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:58:19-07:00

PaulGrahamRaven
Hello! Thank you! Ha. I forgot about that. Made that today in my allergy daze (with minimal blood loss, too!). It was once a pocket watch, but whatever time it tells now it keeps to itself. Here are some itty bitty pictures that link to bigger size photos of the Was Once A Watch Thing, if you'd like a closer look. ^^

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T17:59:46-07:00

Colonel Finn, you're so elegant, with this XIX° century fashion style. I love your moustache too.
Magnificent.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:05:45-07:00

@Sara 013 You made it today? Just today?

*makes a note to up the sacrifice rate to the gods of productivity*

It's a lovely piece, congrats. I'm waiting on my tattooist to come up with concept drawings for my clockwork-arm project, but the thing with tattoos (good and bad) is that you can't put them into someone's hand and say "take a look". If you can make those in a day, find a local craft market and start flogging them while the style is still hot. You have the knack.

(Though not The Knack. At least, I assume you don't have them. Maybe you have. It would explain their absence from the charts if you had.)

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:09:43-07:00

Yes. We loves Colonel Finn too.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:12:47-07:00

the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that suicide is always an option.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:19:35-07:00

@ babymole

I always get the "I before E" thing confused myself. Thanks for the compliments.

I myself had been on a long string of concurrent muscle relaxants and opiods and various nerve inhibitors for years. They were prescribed, and medically justified, but still, I discovered the need to be without. I understand that daily life hurts (not just in the flesh) that much more when used to having something always present to cushion the blow... so your current attempt should be vigorously applauded.

And, watching Night of the Iguana last night brought me this quote:

"I respect anyone who has to fight and howl for his decency... Yes, his decency and his bit of goodness, much more than I respect the lucky ones that had theirs handed out to them at birth and never afterwards had them snatched away from them by... unbearable... moments."

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:23:44-07:00

What' pissing me off? World Hoop Day. Swear to God(s) direct quote from the website behind it "Since 2007, World Hoop Day has been dedicated to bringing toy and dance hoops to underprivileged children living in extreme poverty and underdeveloped neighborhoods of our world. Founded by Annie O'Keeffe, and partnering with her husband, Kevin, World Hoop Day is a not for profit organization that uses a community-based approach to provide durable hoops. The adult-sized hoops can be used their entire life as a simple and effective way to bring joy to an otherwise devastating situation.There are many aid organizations who provide food and medical relief, but what about the mental welfare of a child who grows up too quickly and hardly has a reason to smile or play or just be a child? To date 10,000 hoops have been given away, and total amounts of $1,645 US, and $5,500 in hoops and hoop-related gifts, have been raised. The simple hoop has positive physical and mental health benefits, stimulates imaginations, and enables feelings of pure joy and bliss.Link to website http://www.worldhoopday.com/ "

In other words; Poverty! Disease! Drug addiction! Parental abuse! Sexual exploitation! What's to be done about it all? Fucking. Hula. Hoops.

Seriously, stuff like that makes me wish I had Stephen Kings "Word Processor of The Gods" so I could make extravagant use of the delete key.

Oh and if you don't go in expecting anything more than fast cars and big 'splosions Death Race isn't a bad little film.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:24:43-07:00

I'm struggling with a short comic script I'm writing, having trouble seeing the line between manipulative and affecting...

Bought new clothes today for the first time in like a year and a half, it's gonna be interesting having more than two choices when I go to the wardrobe in the morning.

Transmetropolitan and The Killing Joke are really good. As is Pulp Fiction, which I rewatched today for the first time in a long one today. Although I still do find moments of joy in his newer stuff, it's a shocking reminder of how far Tarantino's fallen in recent times.

About to start reading some book called The Alchemist, based on the recommendation of a friend. The blurbs are making me feel kind of queasy, I don't like the idea of a book that describes itself as "a transforming novel about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts". It makes me want to punch the presenters of The Afternoon Show... But what's new?

Although I do love comics, it still kind of surprised me that I have read more GOOD comics in the last 6 months than I have movies or TV shows of similar quality... That said, the first three series of Deadwood are me-bound as of tomorrow... I should go back to reading summer tie-ins, made me feel better about my own writing capability hah hah. God, I hate trying to laugh in writing.

Me, with the camera face that won't leave me alone.

Oh, and nice work, Eliza Gauger and pauljholden.... (Mmmm... Awkward internet monikers....)

Sarah 013, that pic creeped me out...

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:25:15-07:00

@ nilskidoo -

An amusing note - I bought a copy of "Final Exit" from a used bookstore once. Nobody else ever seems to find the humor in that.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:33:20-07:00

@Brad - The Alchemist will probably infuriate you, if you have a mind to be infuriated (and given that you're here, I'm assuming you have one). Pseudo-catholic mysticism with a generous larding of new-age hippie crapola. By all means finish it, but use the knowledge gained to treat the people who consider it a new bible the way they deserve to be treated.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:39:42-07:00

@ PaulGrahamRaven

Sweet christ this is going to be an ordeal...

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:53:00-07:00

@ RachaelNoel -

LOVE "Final Exit"
I would go a step further and reveal an idea I have been piecing together the past couple of years. If anyone in the room feels like reappropriating it, that's fine by me- just as long as it sees the light of day.
I want to put together a coffee table-style book consisting of nothing but actual suicide notes. There could be different sections, themes, maybe even a chapter devoted to particular cases of noteworthiness, like famous folk. All would be real. You would be surprised what a long, thought out letter to the surviving families can lead to. I have received # 31 as of last month, though I would want that doubled at least. Some are public documents from archives at assorted libraries. Some cases I KNOW about, although the applicable notes are locked up in police evidence storerooms.
Last words can be very seminal in understanding what people are really about. Dreams, wants, needs.
I see no need for commentary, as these letters define themselves and would hopefully spark more debates on the matter; aside from and beyond Martyrdom or Kevorkian aesthetics.
as open as proper society is, this remains uber taboo. hence my interest.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:55:05-07:00

Right Space Daddy-o…
My need to complain shall be satisfied with: The world is shite because it created my relationship with food…Feel like shit this week, combination of infected rash and change of diet at lunch times.. If I were Coeliac it would explain a lot. Might go to the doctors Monday…
“Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful. Tell me of new things, or old secrets. Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creatures of the night.”
When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy, you knew he was a no good kid, but when he threatened your life with a switch blade knife?
I think I’ll go with old secrets..
3 years ago this week our dog had to be put down. The problems with pure-breeds etc.. He was epileptic.

The week before I had broken up with someone I felt deeply for.
And now I know the feelings of loss got muddled up together. But good things come from muddled feelings. I fucked off to S.America for nearly 3 months then I decided to go back to College…
And now I realise 2 things.
If I hadn’t been confused I would have been stuck where I was for the unforeseeable future.
And I really fucking miss that dog, epileptic fits or not…

Me on Easter Island.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:56:36-07:00

Wrong with the world? Biden? We're all doomed.

My mother in law tends to send me random things. She knows I take photos, so she sends me random photo magazines. She knows I read Hunter S Thompson, so she sends me Rolling Stone every time HST is mentioned. Recently she randomly sent me a couple copies of Previews from '93/'94. Don't ask me how the fuck she ended up with them. They were well worth a laugh. The high point was a half-page ad for the collected Lazarus Churchyard. There are, really, so many low points. The special thick and glossy promo for Mr. T and the T Force. Multi-page horrible Defiant previews. Batman #500 and X-Men 2099 hype.

And now, a very old photo taken during my Bachelor party replacement thingy. Obviously, as I'm not Patton Oswalt, that's me on the left yelling at his crotch and looking like a fucking Muppet. Very old, I assure you.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:56:58-07:00

I'm having a hard time feeling pissed off tonight, as I just sampled Lykke Li and made this in the space of just four hours. I'll remove her & add my own vocals later, for now it sounds like this without the wonderful Swedish lady.

But I should really be writing articles. Ah well.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T18:59:10-07:00

@curb My day started off pretty shit. I wanted to get away from it all. Then I saw my pregnant sister’s 3D scan. It made me feel all different kinds of alive. I’m going to be an uncle. I’m going to have a little person to play with, to eventually discuss weird ideas with. This is a first for me.
@halcyonday Fuck a job. Today I listened to Genesis P-Orridge talk about being on the dole for 8 years. It made me realise that I am not the only one.
@syringavulgaris I hope your cat is okay. I’m sure he is just being pensive, wondering how fucking weird we humans are.
@Leandro Damasceno Chin up, Bro.

Everyone else. I love you. You make me happy.
I am about to fall asleep on my sofa. See you in a bit.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:00:15-07:00

First open mic night, so i've got a few weeks to catch up on. if you'd like, this is simply angry raving, so skip it if you want.

Sweet fucking christ, I'm sick of summer. for 6 weeks ive been shedding old friends and new acquaintances for no better reason that that we are each of us incapable of understanding where someone is coming from.
on top of having to figure out where my relationship of 5 plus years is going, everyone i know is encouraging me to end it- which would be fine, if they hadnt spent years being her friends first- one asshole went so far as to concoct a plan to get me to cheat on her so it would end "guilt-free" and used one of my longest friendships to twist me against my girlfriend, and for no better reason than she once told him, over a year ago, that she no longer cared about his girl troubles- this from the asshole who fucking makes a living telling people to grow up and get over it. im fine with people being assholes, but hypocrisy kills me. this slimy, petty, lying son of a bitch does nothing but take and take and bitch and moan, and in the one moment he is called to account for it, he fucks everyone in the worst way. whats worse is that everyone else is making excuses for him, like lying, coercion, manipulation and flat out treachery are ok. NEWS FLASH: YOU DON"T FUCKING TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT. I refuse to tolerate his petty game anymore, and I'm the unreasonable one, I"M the one going off the deep end, or so i hear. i no longer trust many of my closest friends because they refuse to see that given the first opportunity, he will gut them like trout. this man has no sense of honor or duty.

My only goal has been to show the utmost love and compassion, loyalty and respect to these people. I'm not close with my family- my family is my friends, and family is everything. While part of me feels like the victim, I have to believe that this is in some part my fault, because to believe otherwise would mean that this...traitor was right about basic human nature, and i would be now better a person than him. I believe that my relationship is over, though she refuses to see it. i find it extremely hard to hurt the one person in the last month and a half to have done nothing but support and respect me.

i'm stuck where it is no longer healthy for me to be (esp. since we just started a lease together) because i can't go anywhere else. i'm barely scraping by on my shit-ass part time retail slavery, and i'm in no position to leave town entirely, which is really what i'd like and need to do.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:10:52-07:00

There are giant spiders living in my window.

I have nothing worth drinking in the house.

And I know I'm going to catch hell for a few largish mistakes I made at work on Thursday.

But tomorrow, after work, I disappear to Pittsburgh for two days to stay with the girlfriend. And this is Good.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:11:44-07:00

Did not expect to be fooling around on here tonight, but! I come with advice to girlfriends worldwide: The time to tell your boyfriend you've had a headache all night and want to lie down is not ten minutes before you're supposed to go see a movie.

Otherwise, what's pissing me off?
Well, really wanted to catch "Tropic Thunder" tonight.
I write for a bi-weekly newsletter on work safety, and I'm officially bored beyond tears of it. How do people write professionally about the same subject matter year in, year out without starting to plot doom?
Area department store's liquidating a bunch of suits, which is a fine time for me to officially realize my jacket size is a 37...so no nice cheap suit for me.

On the upside: Good writing every day from www.threatquality.com. You should go read some, and tell many, many people about it. Unless you hate it, in which case, as Joss Whedon put it, "Now is a time for quiet reflection."

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:17:43-07:00

Pissing me off: All the stuff going on with my Mom. She's having a really tough time and it's getting ridiculous.
Explain to me why the world is shit: Every time I think things are finally getting better, something else bad happens. Also, I still haven't found earplugs that are sufficient in keeping water out when I'm swimming and it's really annoying.
Confess your sins: I don't think I'll ever be content with my single status, and I don't think I'll ever manage to date. I am such a nutcase.
Get something off your chest: I most likely have a crush (or whatever) on one of my guyfriends and I am quite certain that he simply enjoys flirting quite a bit. I am trying to a)not get my hopes up and b)stop crushing so I can return to somewhat sanity.
Tell me a plan: I think I'm going to do a series of prints on Trinidadian folklore, which should be delightfully creepy.
Tell me what's in your head: The usual self-loathing.
I want to know: Sometimes I'm not so certain. I'm fairly whiny.

Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful: I don't think there is anyting filthy, strange, or wonderful in my life right now. Pathetic.
Tell me of new things, or old secrets: Can't think of any. Sorry.

Picture:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:22:10-07:00

Still jobless. Nuked my old custom web portfolio site (which looked like shit run over twice) in favor of Indexhibit and the new site is up. Now I’m in the process of updating and photographing all of my work. I need to get the videos up ASAP, and I have a long hi-def video I can’t get to render out of After Effects that needs to go on Vimeo. Because I’m sick and tired of not having a job.

My revival of Charles Coiner’s/MF Benton’s Eagle typeface is almost ready to go. I hope to release it this week under a Creative Commons license so that there’s another good font available for web embedding now that Safari and Opera are supporting @FontFace and Firefox isn’t far behind.

I started playing Magic: The Gathering again after about four years of not gaming at all. It’s great; I drive thirty minutes to a game shop in the suburbs and spend the afternoon having fun. Nobody talks about politics, economics, real estate, their careers, matters of public policy, or all of the other high-minded stuff that I get overwhelmed with here in Washington. Hopefully next weekend I can manage to play some board games. But I keep swearing to myself that I will not drop $100 on updated rulebooks to play Games Workshop games again.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:22:44-07:00

@Eliza
That looks like another lovely painting you have there. I don't know how you do it all.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:29:44-07:00

This song pretty much defines my life at the moment. Blood For Blood - A Bitch Called Hope.

All my life I relied on one thing and that one thing fucked me up even more
She is tempting and promises things that'll never happen of that I'm sure
Years I've wasted waiting for her to come through for me why was I so blind
Waiting innocently as time went on life's gotten worse my resentment's strong
Now I've smartened up I'm turning my back
I don't need her I gave her a smack
She failed me over and over again no surprise there she was never a friend
I've been dragging a bitch called hope (a bitch called hope)
I've been hanging at the end of her rope (a bitch called hope)
I've been dragging a bitch called hope (a bitch called hope)
I've been hanging at the end of her fucking rope
I'd have given her my heart and my dreams
She then strung me along threw away these years
Don't let that bitch take you for a ride like she took me
and took most everyone I know
So I've kicked the bitch to the curb
but in the end she's left me a bitter twisted motherfucker
I've been dragging a bitch called hope (a bitch called hope)
I've been hanging at the end of her rope (a bitch called hope)
I've been dragging a bitch called hope (a bitch called hope)
I've been hanging at the end of her fucking rope

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:39:24-07:00

So I started writing this very early on into your evening, but then got caught up in a bunch of stuff and just now finished. Sigh...

Previously : I spent the week being rather productive, actually. Got much writing done and a ton of page layouts for the guy drawing my former mini-series, now graphic novel, Super. The really cool thing I did this week was that I got to use my gigantor-bad-ass printer to make a number of back-lit posters for Burning Man. The job was kicked my way by my Epson guy, and that's where all the really cool parts came in. First, the artist who needed the prints was doing symmetrical fractal images, which are beautiful if you know what you're doing (and he does). Then it turns out that the guy's name is Mike Crowley, he used to write for Marvel UK and he knows Alan Moore! And yes, he is loosely related to Aleister Crowley, a fact he was unaware of until Robert Anton Wilson told him that the more famous Crowley only pronounced his name the English way as a matter of affectation. Neat stuff, that! Anyway, I wasn't going to show these off, because I hadn't asked his permission, but they should already be on display at the festival, so here are the pieces.

These first three were printed at four feet by four feet each on clear film. The colors are so wonderfully vibrant when lit in front of an opaque piece of plastic.

And this piece is just brilliant. I wish you could see it at the full size I printed it. Finished, it came out at three feet by twenty feet and was done on an opaque material, so that you need only to add the back-light for effect. I believe they are using this piece as a bar top.

So yeah, some dude up there on peyote, or shrooms or whatever is gonna trip balls in front of these things and they're gonna blow his mind, man!

Also, on Thursday, I held my weekly Drink and Draw meeting. This week we had Mark Millar and Tony Harris stop by since they were in town promoting their new book, War Heroes. They were great fun to hang with, very laid back and talkative. Was a real nice turnout and we had ribs for dinner. Here's some photos...

The crowd.

And here's Tony playing pool while Mark goes against type and drinks a Guinness.

Currently : I'm currently playing some online poker while drawing a bunch of necrophiliacs... No, really... But if you're gonna lock yourself in a small room with me this evening, we'll soon be joined by my core group of gents as we partake in My Dinner With Andre.

Approaching : Will be done working on this television show in another two weeks... Gonna have to find something else to do with my weekends... My plan is to try and work really hard on getting more business involving my printer and finish banging out some art projects... Maybe build some custom lightboxes and do a gallery installation at the next art festival... We'll see...

I also have a sin to confess. At the Drink and Draw, my boy Gilbert, who happens to be drawing the book mentioned at the top of this post (and taking forever on it, as is the way), was having a piece of artwork he did (some militray-themed zombies with the words "Iraq Year 100" drawn on the bottom) fawned over by just about everyone, especially Millar and Harris. Now, Gilbert is very talented, easily the one of my group with the best chance at landing mainstream penciling work someday, but he's never been very supportive of the Drink and Draw, treating it like it's a waste of my time and money. So it makes me jealous that everyone was paying so much attention to his work while I was too busy running the event to pick up a pencil. And that is my sin... Being jealous of my best friend when I should be happy that he's getting all this attention... I am ashamed and I should be.

Oh, and an edit: a pic of me, to hurt your eyeballs with...

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:40:42-07:00

Let's do this right:

Explain to me why the world is shit.
Because polling data is often meaningless, and yet people believe every last one of 'em.

Confess your sins.
Hung out with an old girlfriend recently and wished she were more like my new one. And wished the new one were more like the old one. Then punched my crotch for a while to even everything out.

Get something off your chest.
My dog seems to have a serious foot fetish, which is a bit creepy. But he's a cocker spaniel, and so is adorable. It's terribly confusing.

Tell me a plan.
Taking a yoga class. Not the cool fitnessy one where I'd meet interesting, attractive people. The more philosophically based one. Which means I'll get to meet a lot of area old hippies.
Thinking low-tech is the way to get people reading www.threatquality.com. Am commencing Philadelphia-area scrawling of URL on bathroom walls at first opportunity.

Tell me what's in your head.
New story zygote. Always good. Started with a blithe what if: "What if every John Smith in the world up and died at the same time...except for one?" Now I have to figure out what that story actually is, and how it gets told.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T19:45:53-07:00

what is pissing me off? what pisses off most people? Being trapped into a shit job. I gave up looking for a job and went back full time to where i'd been working before I graduated. I work retail in a bookstore. I got like 5 hours of sleep last night and was in a shit fucking mood all day. I wanted to stab people all fucking day, especially one of these smug upper-class "buddhist" fuckers who is friends with the owner of the store who sits on his fat ass and tries to absorb an entire religion and culture he's probably never seen like it's a fucking buffet and you can just pick out the bits you like and fuck the rest of it. fuck. fuck. I am so frustrated with life right now. my boss "doesn't do raises" even though I'm making a little over minimum wage and have been there coming up on 2 years. so I have to go and ask him and I know the second I start that conversation the nerves will get the best of me and I'll curl up like a spineless shit and take whatever they give me. It's the same reason i didn't hold out for a better fucking job. All of this frustration has stopped me from doing anything but working, sleeping and a little bit of time around the internet. I could go on bitching about how fucked things seem, but I don't have shit too bad, but then i'm probably just saying that so I can fucking give up a little. Fuck it, Time to sleep. Music is all that keeps me from fucking losing it. Tom Waits has done more in a year to improve my life than most people I know, too bad he didn't get up here to boston on tour or i'd have given my legs for tickets.

This is exactly what I needed, thanks Warren and everyone else.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:05:39-07:00

@Sarpedon:

You'll enjoy this: an interview of Tom Waits, by Tom Waits.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:10:55-07:00

It is starting to occur to me that I'm generally more cranky and whiny on Saturdays and I'd probably have better responses on Wednesdays or Thursdays.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:14:11-07:00

Chilling out, sipping a gin sling like some kind of dandy after a barbecue evening featuring inimitable Irish-Hawaiian-Ozzie burgers, beer, and the most sensual thing you can do with chicken and onions without ending up as an internet fetish.

Project: Me is continuing to improve. Feeling some strange and awesome fatigue/surging sensations in my creative cortex as I push myself to write more, more, more, and discovering that those great works I've enjoyed likely weren't written by Wordsmith-Poets reclining on futons made entirely of naked serfs, but by somebody with more red than white in their eyes pitting chemicals against unconsciousness in a lexical battle to the death. Still love it. Writing about awesome science, food, booze and video games keeps things going while I learn all kinds of fun things about writing short stories. And by 'learn', I mean 'by fucking DOING'. A friend once told me about these great ideas for stories he'd finished, but hadn't actually written word one because he "wasn't a details guy". Wanted to punch him in the throat.

My new headphones with big chunky controls in the headset make me feel far more Buck Rogers than they should. Moving on to a Negroni, word-age, girlfriend and the hopes of seeing some more happy people here before the end of the night.

Me about to engage some Thai food:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:15:48-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week.
Many things, including myself.
EXTERNAL: I am annoyed and vexed, and just made to be in a generally pissy mood by People In Power. The types who do not return calls when you are 'not hot', but once you have a whiff of being something that they can 'cash in on', they do not leave you the fuck alone. Recent events have reminded me why I dropped out of the music/film/TV/Comic business altogether... largely because I think that it's 90% schmooze-and-lying, and 10% giving a fuck about the content and making things that are actually entertaining and touch people. Even with people where you would think it would be otherwise.
INTERNAL: Because events in recent weeks make it very obvious that it is dangerously easy to succumb to this mindset. Even with the Best Intentions. I keep wishing I had Minions or a Secretary to do things like track my schedules, go shopping for me, answer my email and calls. These feelings worry the fuck out of me.

Explain to me why the world is shit.
The world isn't shit. Some of the people walking it? Sure. They are walking textbook examples of shit. Doing my best to avoid them. OR, get what I need from them without compromising the things that Matter to me. Like my soul. Little things like that.

Confess your sins. Get something off your chest.
I joked before SDCC/the launch of Comic Book Tattoo that my plans and goals included slipping into a coma. I've avoided it, but only by the strictest definition of the word. I've been at a total state of cattywampus since returning from SDCC... my ADD/OCD tendancies make it so that, when I'm 'off routine', I get very, very fucked up, and the last 3 months have been NO form of routine. So, while shit is getting done, it's not in the amounts that NEED to be done, nor (I feel) at the quality level that needs to be accomplished. I finally hit the wall today and literally slept the day away. Got up feeling like complete shit at 10am, took an skin-peelingly hot shower followed by slamming the water over to icy cold. Dried off, went back to bed and got up at 5:10pm. I'm going to load up on drugs tonight by 10pm and go to sleep with the intention of getting up early and getting back 'in the groove' as it were.

Tell me a plan.
My plan is to try and find some semblence of balance... to still be able to be in 'work mode' and not shut off all the other parts of my brain and life. I tend to be a 'all or nothing' kind of person, and I know it makes me less than pleasant to be around, so this is heading into new territory for me. Getting the comic work done, getting Longbox successfully launched and in the market, and still being a good husband and father to the wife and kids. Maybe even sleeping once in a while. As budgie said, don't know as it is a GOOD plan, but it's the one I'm working with now...

I am also drinking and locked in a small room with you.
That explains a lot. No, really. As a sidenote, after returning from SDCC, I bought the makings for Mojitos, which in my head equals a 'summer celebration' kind of drink, with the intention of celebrating the successful launch of Comic Book Tattoo, and summer.

I have yet to have ONE drink. Didn't even drink at SDCC, because I knew it would Put Me Under if I did since I was running on no sleep and no food.

My younger self shakes its head at my older self.

Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful. Tell me of new things, or old secrets. Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creatures of the night.
I have become a boring old man, and I am afraid I cannot help you with any of these things. Again, my younger self shakes its dissapointed head at me. I was invited to a 'Rock Star' party in Hollywood last week, given by a 'Famous Musician' (not Tori, nor in any way affiliated with her) who wanted me to come and 'meet people'. What did I do? Went home, ate frozen chocolate chip waffles and did laundry. Again, BORING.

I did however have a nice email exchange with Brendan McCarthy on things including Strange Days and its impact on an entire generation of creators. Brilliant guy who happens to be incredibly nice and easy to talk to. Can't wait for his StrangeSpider comic from Marvel in 2009.
Also, as a side effect of that, gave a couple folks at Image copies of issue #1 of Strange Days, as they'd never seen it. I'm sure that popping sound coming from the bay area is the sound of their minds being blown.

Unrelated to that, as of tomorrow I will have been married for 12 years. Hope to get away for a couple days (sans kids) to celebrate.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:16:45-07:00

"Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week. Explain to me why the world is shit. Confess your sins. Get something off your chest. Tell me a plan. Tell me what's in your head. I want to know. On Saturday nights I am your ear and your confessor and your audience."

Jobs are pissing me off this week. I'm certified out the ass for IT stuff, but because I was arrested with magical mushrooms at the age of eighteen I'm pretty much barred from decent jobs. I haven't broken the ten dollar an hour barrier since I was nineteen. Now I have a family and I work at a restaurant as a cook and at a hotel as a maintenance man. I'm gone nearly sixty hours a week and it's still hard to pay bills and rent. Both jobs are cutting back hours, and it makes me sick because I can do so much better than either job.

As Phillip K. Dick said in A Scanner Darkly, I've been punished entirely too much for what I've done. The felony drops off in 2010, about the same time I'll finish college, but until then I'm stuck in wage hell. I was thinking the other night on the drive home, in my shitty tempo with no exhaust and one headlight, about how many of us are modern day peasants. We work for lords (business owners), we don't own land, and we're absolutely stuck in this existence. I had a nice gig pinned down doing computer disassembling computers for Micro Center. It paid twelve dollars an hour starting out, with plenty of room for advancement. I went to three interviews and aced every single one. I had signed all the paperwork with the interview woman said, "All right, you'll start a week after next when your background check comes back." I said, "You do know I'm a felon, I put it on the application." She hadn't read the whole thing, she focused solely on my work experience and skills. She told me to come back in two years; she seemed sad because she knew I had a family and I wouldn't be able to find better work.

I piss myself off because I don't follow through with my "grand ideas". I'll start a fantastic project with fervent energy, and if I put it down I can't seem to pick it back up. It doesn't matter if it's web design, writing, or whatever, after the initial rush the love is gone. I don't know how you writers can bang out text like no tomorrow, I guess you have more willpower than I do.

I don't mean to whine, but I feel so stuck. The world is shit because it's a tough world with opportunities but I've been demoted to a second class citizen. I've been thinking about starting my own web design business, but I honestly don't know if I can take the step. I can't rely on irregular business, I need a steady paycheck to survive. I'm man enough to say I've cried man tears of helplessness because I can't give my family the life we deserve.

As for our gracious host Mr. Ellis - I admire you because you rose from the depths shit jobs to create things, to send your voice out into the world, to bring we hapless freakangels of the world to one place.

-from the desk of the modern proletariat-

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:16:49-07:00

Doing my best to get hired on perm at the new job. It's really hard to blow your supervisor without kissing his ass. Ah, multi-tasking.

It's really hard being in a new city and state. My wife isn't doing so well, she hasn't made any friends yet and it's bumming her out. I need to quit being so misanthropic, it isn't helping.

But Thursday is Obama night, and we're totes excited. Hopefully the Politics thread will be back up by then so I can give everyone updates on our day at Mile High Stadium.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:21:08-07:00

I should address this from Warren:

... enumerating the many and vile ways in which you love me.

You're a writer, you have a gift for language, and Joss Whedon likes you. Well, not that way, but he digs you. Which made me investigate you, your website, on Twitter, and now here. To sort of soak up your ambience a bit. Yeah, yeah, not leering or vile. Let me work up to it.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:23:51-07:00

Love that shirt, Aberrant_press.

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week.

Me! I am pissing me off this week. I need to get back into shape, need to get a little healthier. Whenever I make a resolution, I notice how almost immediately I start inventing excuses to break it. I need to break through the fog.

My body is pissing me off. Stupid little aches and pains and health problems.

Explain to me why the world is shit.

Because all life ends up as manure.

Confess your sins. Get something off your chest. Tell me a plan. Tell me what's in your head. I want to know.

Sin is nothing, it's clouds in the wind.

What's in my head? A whole bundle of stuff. I am oddly happy since a couple of weeks, yet still clueless. I spend some time in a Zen monastery and am still processing all the impressions, trying to find a way to implement it in my life, trying to find out what of it is important to me and why, and what of it isn't.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:24:18-07:00

Being the master of the house, going to college full time, writing another novel and a comic, working two jobs and hating one of them is what's pissing me off. The husband did actually clean the place while I was out working my ass off, so that's something. A rare and pleasant something.

The world is shit because the publishing industry is a bunch of cock-sucking money hungry bastards. It is also shit because it shouldn't be set up so that getting an education is nearly impossible. I have a goddamn scholarship, and I still have to work two jobs just to pay my bills. I wouldn't even be able to go if it weren't for that thing. How is anyone supposed to better themselves and get a good job if it's so fucking impossible to do? I just don't understand.

I've only gotten 4k words done this week on the book. Last week I got 13k. We can see a notable decline here. I want to be pissed about that, but even 4k is pretty good. A lot of writers don't do that. Of course, my average is 8-10k a week, so I'm really behind, but I've had other things. They weren't more important than the writing, because nothing really is, but they were things that got me paychecks. The plan here is to be done by the beginning of the spring semester so I can just have that three months to edit and be fallow. (Not entirely sure that's a proper use of the word fallow.)

And something filthy? All right. I spent an hour last night getting my brains fucked out by the man of the house. There was a lot of hair-pulling and spanking involved. My scalp is actually quite tender. It was nice.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:31:05-07:00

I had to move about 40 feet a few days ago. Apparently, I didn't get signed up fast enough to stay in my old apartment once the new semester starts. So, I had to move next door. It's like a bizarro-apartment: the kitchen is on the left instead of the right, and the laundry room is near my bedroom now.

Finally a Senior in college, just turned 26 on Tuesday. Two semesters, then my degree is done. English, film, and communications. Then it's off to graduate school as close to full-time as I can afford, both monetarily and time-tarily. Hopefully get a decent job with this fancy new degree.

All alone in a 4-bedroom apartment for the next week. Just got a job at minimum wage and less than 20 hours a week at the arcade on campus. Better than nothing. Haven't had a job since April of 2007. Dunno why I can't stay on unemployment while in school. Thinking that trying to better myself and become a more productive member of this clusterfuck we call a society would be a good thing. Would have been better off collecting unemployment and laying around in my boxers with a bag of bugles and a videogame all year.

The love of my life is 400+ miles away and slowly dying of alcoholism, depression, and bulimia. Very dark, deep, horrible secrets have been revealed. Good news: she was screwed up before we met. Just better at hiding it. Everyone's abandoned her but me. Family won't talk. Getting a divorce (though not from me. It's complicated). Can't help til she wants to help herself. Can't help because I'm 8 hours away with no money. Can't help. Can't give up. Won't.

Thinking, but not writing. A dozen story ideas. No motivation to write them down. Probably three short stories and at least two novel-sized outlines in my head. Can't write them down. Smoking a cigarette every half hour. Wishing I had a coffin to drag around behind me like Django. Wishing now I hadn't come down here to finish school. Would be closer to the girl if I hadn't. Could do more. Maybe. Wishful thinking.

Raining outside, windy. Hollow, dark, and abandoned. New semester doesn't start til after Labor Day. New students don't move in til next weekend. Not sure I want the company.

Have to push through it. Work hard. Do well. Write. Create. Think. Support the person I care about most. Hope she will come back to me. Hope she will get better. Hope it's not my fault. WIll blame myself regardless, if outcome is bad. Goldeneye is on AMC. Meh. Luckily gave up drinking before found out the girl was an alcoholic. Makes it easier. No desire to eat, but doing it anyway. Feels like it's going to come back up after I eat, anyway. Can't let it.

Want to break the people that have hurt her. Will, if chance presents itself. Feeling absolutely optimistic now. Vaguely satisfied this may bum people out. However, fully aware others have more serious problems. Feels more like a journal entry than anything else. Cathartic. Should be reading Winesburg, OH for first day of class next week. Don't particularly care. Might just watch Bender's Big Score, again. Might just read The Cartoon History of the Modern World, instead. Might do both. Desperately wishing smoking was permitted in apartment. Feel extremely creepy standing in the rain, smoking, at least 5 years older than most everybody else around. Could be worse.

Secretly hoping that latent writing talents will be discovered in a message board like this. But probably not. Like most other things: not quite good enough. Can't get much more open than that.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:32:00-07:00

@Luke:

Okay, I'll bite (HaHAA!). What, pray tell, goes into an Irish-Hawaiian-Ozzie burger?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:33:25-07:00

my husband's gone back to the Fatherland (America) for two weeks to visit his family. I went out to a bar last night to flirt with the cute young Japanese guys who staff the place, and came to the conclusion that the five pounds I've gained this summer have rendered me invisible to the male eye. this provokes several simultaneous reactions: anger, shame, cynicism, sour grapes, determination. Fuck 'em, if they're that shallow they can just keep wanking off to cheap newsprint manga. / Shit, I need to go on a diet.

and the sneaking fear that, if I've gained THAT much weight, maybe I'm not attractive to my husband anymore but he's too nice to say so.

and the towering feminist outrage that any of these thoughts are even crossing my mind.

I can't think of a way to end this other than "rrrrrrgh."

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:37:31-07:00

Tedious week at work, but I have off all next week. This is the first vacation time in . . . years? . . . that doesn't involve visiting some relative or friends. Spent a lot of last week wondering if I could remember how to relax and enjoy this, but today went nicely.

My dog killed someone's ex-pet-mouse on Wednesday. A little pink eyed white mouse. The former owners left the cage out by the dumpsters, maybe thinking someone would adopt it. Some other critter or kid opened the cage. My dog spotted the mouse under the dumpster and chomped it. Actually, I had to finish the job. Once Kira caught it and gave it a shake she lost interest in it. Mighty wolf-descended hunter my ass. I suppose a cat or coyote would have caught the mouse eventually.

I wrote this last night:

Object mug_full "coffee mug"
with name 'full' 'coffee' 'mug' ,
description "It's a sturdy white earthenware coffee mug, built to last. It is full to the brim with steaming hot coffee",
initial "The mug is now full of steaming hot coffee.",
before 
[;
	drink:
	if (self in player || self in location)
	{
		remove mug_full;
		move mug_empty to player;
		print "You take a cautious sip of the coffee. It is so strong and hot that you almost spit it out, but manage to get it down. You feel better almost instantly. After blowing on the top you take a few more sips, then finish it off in three great gulps.^^
		The effect is . . . profound. A sharp pain in your stomach doubles you over, and you spend a few minutes taking deep breaths, hoping to cool the burning sensation in your throat. You soon feel better . . . much better. You've never felt more awake, more aware of your surroundings. You suspect you won't have any more trouble staying awake.^^
		After draining away the last few drops in the mug, you see something strange and wonderful in the corner of the room: A roiling cloud of pearly white light.";
		! Set fatigue to zero
		move pearly_cloud to location;
		return true;
	}
]
;

This is code from a text adventure (remember those?) I'm writing. The viewpoint character is a kid at summer camp, trying to settle scores and solve mysteries during the long night before the busses head home. There's a dream sequence involving a faceless clown with a chainsaw.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:57:19-07:00

@StefenJ

What language are you going to write this in? Your pseudocode is nicely designed and seems like it will transfer easily into a variety of languages.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T20:59:42-07:00

But Thursday is Obama night, and we're totes excited. Hopefully the Politics thread will be back up by then so I can give everyone updates on our day at Mile High Stadium.

I'm with you there. At this point my suggested title for it is "I NEED MY FIX!! of the US Election Thread" I just miss the hell out of being able to talk politics with informed, intelligent people. Have pity on me, Warren. I live in Tennessee for fuck's sake. That's the threadbare ball-vineger soaked crotch of the Bible Belt.

This is code from a text adventure (remember those?) I'm writing.

What code is that? Is it TADS, ADRIFT or INFORM? And I remember loving the hell out of Infocom back in the day. I played Trinity a couple years back on another computer that has since died and taken my only copies of most of my Infocom collection with it. Neat, disturbing game dipped in 1980s nuclear paranoia with a Sci-Fantasy twist.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T21:15:25-07:00

It's Inform 6 code. (And it works! The pearly cloud takes you to a platform floating in the clouds where Abraham Lincoln dispenses sage advice. Or will, once I work in the conversation code. Right now he just sits there and sobs in his hands.)

Trinity and A Mind Forever Voyaging were incredibly intense.

You can get most, if not all, of the Infocom games in the form of a CD collection.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T21:17:19-07:00

@Stoto: thanks a lot, kid. good night.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T21:21:15-07:00

I went and I bought my comics today. I was 2 weeks behind. My Gravel HC wasn't there though, they needed a down payment apparently and so I did that today, Wednesday I should have it hopefully as they said they'd order it Monday, waiting for my James Stokoe Wonton Soup book still too.

I finally got my haircut as well. My mohawk, just needs to be dyed now and then I can go get my head tattoo. Had it long in the back, realized it made me look as though I had a mullet, just got done hacking it off in the bathroom, looks much better now.

Worked 6 days and then the bastards tried to call me in today, greedy fuckers they are.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T21:22:00-07:00

My new job requires me to get out of bed at 3am for half of my work week (5am for the other half). This is not my idea of fun.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T21:32:00-07:00

[Edit: Upon further thought, deleted a lot of whining. It's the human condition, baby]

My name changed this week. I'm certain I should feel something. I registered zoem.be, but I'm not sure what to do with it yet. I'm waiting for the miracle.

Here I am without my glasses. You will only ever see me this way in person if you are in bed or in the shower with me.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T21:48:59-07:00

@zoem: That self portrait is very lovely and soft. I wish I could tell you that it is going to get better.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T21:49:28-07:00

I've not long got back in from work but I'm wide awake so it doesn't look like I'll see sleep before sunrise. The silver lining is I might actually get a chance to do a fair chunk of reading before I sleep, something I rarely find the time to do these days. University work just seems to keep piling up from nowhere, no sooner do I clear one mountain than another one appears.

Is it possible to institute a system of time credits sorta like carbon credits. Where I can buy time off people who don't need all of theirs?

Naming contest. Can anyone think of a cool name for an anthology comic?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:19:32-07:00

@Trini - Exactly why this should be done on Saturdays. People are generally WAY more honest when being whiny and cranky. At least I am, so I'll generalize for everyone.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:22:33-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week. Explain to me why the world is shit. Confess your sins. Get something off your chest. Tell me a plan. Tell me what's in your head. I want to know. On Saturday nights I am your ear and your confessor and your audience.

My girlfriend skipped town three days ago in the middle of the night without telling anyone to Missouri of all fucking places and still has my guitar and a bunch of my art. But I'm part pissed and part relieved because I leave for Iraq in April. But it's still shitty and I've been abusing every substance available for the past 7 hours. But I went to this awesome of this local band that was awesome and went to a beer tasting festival that was awesome before going bar hopping.

I am also drinking and locked in a small room with you.

I Have Mace

Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful. Tell me of new things, or old secrets. Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creatures of the night.

My best friend just got out of prison on 2-5 got out after 3 with good behavior; so I'm driving down to Georgia and going fishing with him next week. Also I discovered beer is fucking awesome.

Remember, pictures are good, for I am senile and don't always remember all 4000 of you freakbabies
To drunk to operate a camera.

Speak to me now. I am Internet Jesus, your personal Invisible Space Daddy, and I love you all.

Yes. In that way.

Do I need an adult?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:23:10-07:00

I'm not sure why I'm even responding. I never post here because, well, it doesn't fit me very well.

I finally read Crooked Little Vein and I'm rescinding my offer that I never actually made of you being able to stay at my place. However, I still love you.

My job is going to end. Soon. I know it will, even if my boss is in denial. He keeps throwing money at the business and he's running out of money. I don't know why he didn't close it down two years ago. So. I was looking at internships at Warner Bros or Disney or something so I can finally get a graphics job that isn't grunt work. I'd prefer Warner Bros so if they ever start doing something with Thundercats I could get in on it. I'm dreaming, I know, but it would improve my chances anyway.

I've gotten nothing done today. Well, I patched a few nail holes in the walls and bought groceries, but that's it. I was supposed to vacuum and work on my computer and stuff. Aw well, I still have tomorrow. But I need to update my resume and work on my portfolio.

Now that I've finally started dating (at 26, how sad is that? Never mind, I don't want you opinion on it.) I'm seeing actually seeing all the movies I wanted to. Kung Fu Panda was awesome. Hellboy II was good, but not as awesome. Wall-E was beautiful and I loved the end credits (yes, I'm a graphics geek...). I've still never kissed a guy, although I have been kissed (and then I froze up and I still need to make it up to him... Poor Chain.)

You may have actually met Chain - aka Fang, aka, well he has a dozen nicknames. Short guy, often has fake fangs and red contacts. He's actually a giant teddy bear. He goes to cons and gets signatures.

Tell you something filthy? My MOM thinks I'm like Spider Jerusalem. I've never shot someone nor do I smoke, drink, swear heavily, threaten random people, or dream of killing everyone else in the world. Much.

Something strange and wonderful? My real name is Lydia, although I'm working on changing it to Lydean. My parents don't like that, but screw them.

I think I'm going to work on finishing off the bottle of cider that's been sitting in the fridge for two weeks. Yes, I drink that slowly. Ah, it's finally gone flat. Great (I don't like carbonation.) I'm getting dressed for you, you lucky bastard. (I've been in a nightgown and that's it since, like, two.)

… How the fuck do I do timer pictures on this thing?

Yes, I’m the crazy kimono girl. I have no idea why I decided to do full regalia, but I felt like it. Anyone who knows kimono is cringing right now, but I won’t bore you with the things I did wrong because I’m sure you don’t give a fuck. (Actually it was bad enough that I had to fix some stuff and take new photos. It’s still pretty bad.)

Okay, I’m roasting so I’m going to get naked again. (Fall kimono in the middle of summer in an apartment with no AC. While drinking, which makes me warm anyway. Brilliant.)

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:38:24-07:00

I think I need a day job.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:39:44-07:00

Things are good. Everything is quiet and still and I'm learning to really like it that way.

This week I discovered that draining a varicose vein with a sewing needle is not the brightest thing I've ever done. Now there's a large unpleasant looking hole in my leg that hurts when I even think about it too much.

I'm planning on moving to a new apartment soon. There's one downtown on the third floor above the Thai/sushi place that I'm going to go look at. I don't know why, but I've always wanted to live downtown. Not that Bangor has much of a downtown anymore, but still...

The American Folk Festival is in town this weekend and if I go out my back door all I can hear is toodle toodle toodle. The streets are packed with out of state hippies. I swear I can smell the patchouli and weed from here.

As always, thanks for asking.

My hair is now long enough to tie back. Been growing it out for a year and a half after keeping it buzzed off for 12 years.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:42:49-07:00

i'm home again, but i don't know where i am

and i love it.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:45:02-07:00

No photo tonight, Internet Jesus. I'm not in the mood. And my camera's crap and not hooked up to my dying laptop. I think I saw it in my room a week ago. Amazing how things vanish in it. I'm tired. I smell like the dishtank from work. It's a horrid combination of grease and cleansers and burrito.

Mom and I argued today. Or rather, she railroaded me and belittled me, which might as well be the same thing, without the actual arguing part. It still makes me feel like something horribly, horribly worthless. I guess it's part of why I was shell-shocked at the convention. I may've been vapid and dazed from travel and out of my element, but I never got the smile-and-nod feeling I get whenever I talk to my mom. Sure she listens, and can parrot back what I say... but it's not really listening. That's what breaks my heart. And there's no way to get through to her about it... She can't even let me tell her "I enjoy ____ coffee" without trying to turn it into some argument. She thinks we have these wonderful long-winded discussions. But they're just in her head. The internet knows me better than she does.

We're going through stuff with my grandmother's will, and the family is behaving like a pack of rabid hyenas, trying to tear itself apart and pretty much succeeding because of money, as far as I've been able to tell. I can't escape hearing about it, and I'm sick of it. I can't change the will, I have no part in it, and I'm sick of the fighting, the bad feelings and utter bullshit insanity all around.

And an online friend just said he, yaknow, LIKES-likes me.
I have no idea why anyone would ever consider me datable material.
I'm baffled.

edited to add: let the boy-o down.
Still baffled by people.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T22:59:36-07:00

For not the first time, I realize I am worth a hell of a lot more dead than alive. Hence, a reason to keep on going, just to fuck with people.

Even though I haven't been working, I have been writing a hell of a lot. Screenplays will be done soon. I feel it. The writing is going well. Which scares the shit out of me.

But, I need to go to work. I got a bunch of production info today; but at the same time I got told a movie I could have probably had a job with is probably folding. But then again, I also found a project I would like to work on almost as much as Treme. Either would be nice though. Be nice to work on something that felt like it wasn't utter crap for the masses to digest and shit out when they are done.

I still don't understand why we are not back to work yet. People have been saying all month that projects are ready to go, and everything is in place. But no one has gotten that go call. Sucks. Bank account is low, and my wife is stressed and mad at me. Ugh, I could understand if this is was something I did; but it is something beyond my control.

So I write. I write because it is the only way I feel I have control and the way out from this grind, and into the other grind which I will gladly accept.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T23:10:05-07:00

Wow Mr. Sparky. That's kind of horrible. If I felt comfortable going on about a stalker in my own town it would probably be the subject of some venting here tonight but I am just not thinking straight at all. What is pissing me off more in general then are a plague of liars taking down all the good people.

My friend Joe was fired from a pretty important job at a local college over some statements which were blatantly fabricated. I had an acquaintance become an insane Jesus-freak and refuse to leave my apartment at 3 in the morning resulting in a police visit to finally make him go away. There have been a rash of heroin overdoses all around Portland the last several days because of some awful new variant which is even worse for you than the normal stuff. Everyone good is far away. I will not be going to Burning Man afterall. I have to file various charges against some people including someone I used to love dearly. I have to disrupt the significant workings of a major University until a pile of people are fired. I lost a pile of insignificant graphics files but still it's kind of annoying, my own laptop is still toast and I'm borrowing someone else's and I never know what kind of schedule I'm going to have with it and there's no way to cultivate any finished work or readership or anything else in this state. I almost had to start using a cane but the leg got better somehow. I can't pay attention to shit and I can't find online copies of a bunch of text I really need for something.

I've been trying to keep myself from being angry, getting angry, writing angry, but then now I kind of have to because of all the viciousness going around. It's hard to maintain the amazing under these circumstances, yet it still goes on whether people understand it or not. That Cuban Taekwondo athlete kicked some guy in the balls during the Olympics and it was hilarious. Then he kicked that ref in the face and I laughed for hours. I'm not supposed to like that stuff but today it was perfect. More authority figures need to be kicked in the face if they actually think they're qualified to be around such destructive forces as that. Polite combat is such a bizarre concept.

So many of my contributions to the world are destructive, though they are significant contributions, and I am proud of them somewhat, or a lot actually. I just wish I could put my name on something I like rather than smile in secret at something which made thousands of people cringe in terror.

I work with nothing, so I'm happy about the little things. I got a free television the other day, it's nice. It's the first television I've personally owned since 1994, since then it's always been other people's equipment or a computer instead, but now I own a television. I would like to not see myself as a news story on it just yet unless it's about how the world has suddenly apologized.

I still can't think straight, so I'm going to eat some vitamins and verbally abuse something now.

I am neither of these people:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T23:50:43-07:00

11:26pm in San Francisco.

Took yesterday off for no reason. Spent it at the movies specifically at the 4Star Theatre. If you're going in for a marathon of films at a plex I strongly suggest seeing the worst-looking movie first - am really glad I started with Sion Sono's EXTE: HAIR EXTENSIONS. I was mildly curious about it (and was happy to see any Japanese horror film projected on film the way God intended) and pleased to support such a screening but capping off seven hours of film with it would have been excruciating. As it was, it was a nice palate cleanser for BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (a solid film, but clearly a condensation of a much-vaster story than could be told in two hours) and THE EDGE OF HEAVEN (another marvelous film from Fatih Akin).

Left the theatre around 9pm, hearing Radiohead's concert in Golden Gate Park as ghostly emanations. Enjoyed "Pyramid Song" and "You and Whose Army?" in this manner before beginning a loooooong walk home.

The world's pissing me off for a number of reasons. I'm positive that if Obama gets elected it'll be less than a year before some right-wing fuck-nut conspiracy will try and assassinate him. The cost of fuel is going down, but the prices that have skyrocketed (from food to air travel) aren't easing down in response (unsurprised, yes, but still pissed). The people who run the theatre I'm trying to book for MOMMY are dicking me around over bookings, and won't have their shit together until sometime after Burning Man. But I remain cautiously optimistic about things in general.

Having lunch with my friend Aaron (whom I have seen scantly since MEN WITH MICROPHONES closed) then over to Berkeley to see Manoel de Oliveira's four-hour-plus opus DOOMED LOVE. And so more fun to come.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T23:52:12-07:00

Confess your sins. Get something off your chest.
Tell me what's in your head. I want to know. On Saturday nights I am your ear and your confessor and your audience.
Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful. Tell me of new things, or old secrets.

I am depressed but I'm ok for now. My head is full of whirling, swirling, swarming thoughts of pain and bad things. Freakangels keeps them at bay. As does Guitar Hero 2, the numerous other comics I read, Doctor Who, The Middleman, and my cat.

A little sunlight leaks in through the blankets on the windows but I only really see the sun during the ten minute walk to work. I don't really miss it but I think it might be a contributing to my depression.

Remember, pictures are good, for I am senile and don't always remember all 4000 of you freakbabies.

Speak to me now. I am Internet Jesus, your personal Invisible Space Daddy, and I love you all.

And we wuv u too!!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T23:55:38-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week.

Heartburn. Acid reflux, actually. This ain't fair - I'm only twenty years old and I already have to take four Tums before I go to sleep, or I'll wake up choking on my own stomach acid. Ew.

I haven't had a memorable conversation with my girlfriend in two weeks. We talk every day, tell each other how our day went, and all that, but we haven't talk about anything really big. We haven't debated, shared brain juices. It's hard not being able to actually walk over and see her. Still have to wait four months to see her again.

I'm getting really sick of my job. I've only got three days of it left before I quit for autumn classes, though. So, really, that's a good thing.

I tried to explain the difference between a meteor and an asteroid to a kid only a year younger than me, and he seemed incapable of following anything I said. As a result of the discussion, he asked me why I kept saying mass instead of weight. I then tried to explain that to him. This also failed. I weep for the youth of this nation.

Explain to me why the world is shit.

On the whole, I don't think it is. But if I were to come up with a reason, it would be because of greed and carelessness. Which might be more closely related than it would seem at first glance.

Confess your sins. Get something off your chest.

I am still in love with her, and I don't even want to stop anymore. It makes me feel too alive.

Tell me a plan. Tell me what's in your head.

When I grow up (ha) I'm going to have an underground house in the New Mexico desert. It will have an above-ground garage, and a single door which leads down into the kitchen, reading room, and guest bedroom. There will be a skylight, or perhaps a series of them. There will also be a small tree growing in a plot of free dirt somewhere in the reading room. The walls will be reinforced earth, Mars red-brown. I will hang framed concept art from my favorite movies on the walls for this level, as well as covers of my favorite novels.

A spiral staircase will lead down into the entertainment center, writing room, and master bedroom. The walls here will be decorated with prints of Edward Hopper paintings. The lights will be blue. Only close friends will be allowed down here. This will also be where I keep my collection of soda from around the world.

In the garage will be a Jeep Cherokee or its descendant, as well as an indigo Cadillac convertible.

In the backyard I will grow cactus, and I will also have a Zen garden, which I will videotape over the course of a day to see how the desert winds affect whatever pattern I may have set up. I will play these videos, time-lapsed, in a loop, as the screensaver for my television in the entertainment center.

I will share this house with a female Newfoundland named Molly Millions. She will be the bane of coyotes for miles around.

Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful. Tell me of new things, or old secrets. Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me, creatures of the night.

I never really got the Rockey Horror Picture Show. That probably makes me a chud, but all well.

Lesse. Something strange and wonderful. Alright. I had a realization about the nature of time three weeks ago, and as soon as I had the eureka moment, and stood up in my chair, a swarm of Monarch butterflies melted past the window of my guard shack. It was a moment of profound, intense beauty...and I can't seem to be able to recall the exact feeling. The more I try, the emptier the memory seems to be.

Remember, pictures are good, for I am senile and don't always remember all 4000 of you freakbabies.

Are there really that many of us now? Damn...

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T23:55:44-07:00

Tell me what and who is pissing you off this week.
Schedule change for my Friday lab has me fuming. Proffesor is notorious for not letting you leave early, let alone miss the class. I'm faced with the option of driving to Arlington for WWTX instead of flying because I won't make the plane in time. Friday traffic is not a nice thing to be in, especially trying to reach the airport. In the end, it will come down to time versus money. I can drive there and back on two tanks of gas, which is less than half the price of a plane ticket. Downside, it will take me four times longer to get there. Class starts Wednesday, but I'm not holding my breath on skipping the class, or getting to leave early.

Explain to me why the world is shit.
There are humans in it. Granted, we do lovely things on occasion, but mostly we just seem to fuck up, even when genuinely trying to be good. Never mind that "good" is a relative term anyway.

Confess your sins.
What is this "sin" you speak of? I know it not.

Get something off your chest.
Brought the husband to the kick off party of the new semester. He's not a social creature, and I basically threatened him if he didn't go (he'd put off three other invitations) because I needed his truck to bring a load of wood to a neighbor (and I know someone will ask, I don't drive his truck, he doesn't drive my car, except for emergencies.)

Tell me a plan.
I'm making back-up plans to my back-up plan of housing the horse. He's close to ton, huge, and not just any place can take him in. I feel safer with three potentials on my list.

Tell me what's in your head.
Dirty thoughts and endless dreams. No one needs to speak, they only need to do. A night that never ends, and all the cocoa I can drink. Plus marshmallows.

I want to know.
You like the brain punishments, don't you? I like that. :)

On Saturday nights I am your ear and your confessor and your audience.
That you are, Space Daddy.

I am also drinking and locked in a small room with you.
And I have the key. Toss the drink and come here.......NOW.

Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful.

Made you look. You are so in my power.

Tell me of new things, or old secrets.
My father was an Olympic athlete. No surprise that I have his leg muscles.

Remember, pictures are good, for I am senile and don't always remember all 4000 of you freakbabies.

Tonight, at the party, via cellphone.

Speak to me now. I am Internet Jesus, your personal Invisible Space Daddy, and I love you all.
Yes. In that way.
Uh huh. You wish.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-23T23:58:56-07:00

I am really tired and about to fall into bed, but I'm really loving the hell out of my new city.
I am enormously busy, but finding it delightful instead of stressful.

My new lab is the awesomest. Sometime tomorrow or Monday I will post the first of many little snippets/links to things my labmates are working on. You will be able to find these updates nestled in amongst the photos and stuff over here: impetuousheadlongrush.com

I am having dinner with Svetlana tomorrow! Yay!

Kay, I sleep now.
<3

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:07:26-07:00

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creatures of the night.

... I got nothin', really. The last week or so has been pretty uneventful. Other than drinking and/or painting, I haven't done much.

Midnight on a Saturday and I'm fucking around with my webcam. Pretty sad.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:24:04-07:00

As an addition to my previous post, here is an audio file. It is roughly in the vein of "show me something" but...you know...audio. It's mostly a recording from my back porch. Different places sound different, which is valuable knowledge to me. It might be boring enough to you that your already dried paint is more fascinating, however, voice is important as far as I'm concerned.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:29:06-07:00

Hmm. Might do a series of small paintings based on some of these:

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:29:18-07:00

Watching Project Runway - Drag Edition again. Saturday is Pizza n' Teevee night.

I've been putting off comic creatin' for several hours now. I feel tired all day.

You want a secret?

I saw Mama Mia! earlier this week. Did a double-bill with Stepbrothers. Stepbrothers made me laugh so hard liquid came out of holes in my body.

Mama Mia! made me want to scoop out my own brains and eat them with the popcorn. WHAT a singular irredeemable piece of shit. The play made 2 billion pounds. The film seemed to have been made on a tiny fraction of that. Cheap, nasty, badly made.

Outside Lands this weekend. Heard Radiohead live while I sat in my living room and ate dinner.

Oh, and I had Billy Bragg email me this week.

*CLANG*

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:31:27-07:00

@howyadoin

I'd like to see that series when you get done painting them. Thanks!

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:33:06-07:00

I'd like to see that series when you get done painting them. Thanks!

Yeah, I think the idea's got some possibility- maybe even just as pen-and-ink drawings. Numbers 3,4,8 and 9 are the best candidates, from what I can see.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:35:21-07:00

got called into work on my one day off yesterday, so i'm not quite all there... here? it's also 2 am now. 9 days in a row of work. everyone's jumping ship, as a new branch of our store opens next month (on my birthday, no less) a few fucking miles down the street. i'll be all alone at the store i hate with more people who won't talk to me.

i'm just kinda in a "am-i-really-going-to-have-to-wash-dishes-the-rest-of-my-life-sweet-fucking-jesus-i'd-rather-die" state now. reading through this thread... fuck, just being on whitechapel bums me out. i always feel like i'm doing absolutely nothing with my life. granted, i'm not even 21 yet. but all the artists, and writers, and musicians, and science-y folk, and people who don't fucking live in tennessee... i feel like a nobody. i just can't afford to do anything but work. fuck, i can't even afford to eat. i wanted to get into the music industry, fully knowing that i have to fight an entire fucking city just to even get an internship. i don't want to be rich, i just wish i had more than a couple of dollars at the end of the week.

boyfriend and i watched "from dusk til dawn" an hour ago. this brings me comfort.

cameraphone isn't working again, so this is the best you get.

it's better than i'll ever look in real life.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T00:39:51-07:00

@stoto - aye but as I am down on official paper as a full time postgrad student (although all my lectures finished months ago and I'm ABD), I can't sign on and I don't qualify for anything helpful. Thus, I can not avoid this constant merry-go-round of job hunting. Baaah. But cheers.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T01:04:46-07:00

This morning when we came home at 6 o'clock, there was this huge fire somewhere on the hill next to ours. A house was burning. You could perceive what must be flames or was it the firemen lights? it was too far to guess really and the cloud of smoke was huge, bending over Monet's cathedral like a giant wary ghost. The firemen were there, and there was nothing we could do (and certainly not go there and watch) but we got that strange feeling that we were still enjoying the massive fun of our night whilst some people were probably living a nightmare. I can't sleep it off. Now it's 10 AM, the cloud of smoke is ridiculously faint, as if folding back to its hidden chamber; but yet I can't help watching, craefully, from the top of my hill now and again, sipping my piping mug of coffee, as if some good news could reach me. I just hope those people are safe.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T01:29:20-07:00

@heil_britannica - hang in there. i felt like that when i began my 20's. Things kick in by 22. At least that's my experience.
Just decided a minute ago that since I haven't had a day off this week and am now broke, I am gonna experiment with a double life. working teh day-jawb, drawing/working on my silly comics at night.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T01:32:49-07:00

Money's tight until late next week, as I'm paid once per month. This includes a reimbursement check for traveling engagements for my job. Environmental geology has its perks, not the least of which are getting to work around big, expensive machinery to drill holes and inject them with volatile chemicals to neutralize industrial solvents that have managed to get into the groundwater table... but back to the expenses. Earlier this month I threw the alignment out on my car in order to avoid slamming into a woman who crossed into my lane - she never stopped - and a week later I was slapped with a $750 veterinary bill for my cat. Combine that with usual costs of living, and I feel a bit more like a small boy staring into a deep, dark pit full of sharp-mandibled things than I normally like. It doesn't help that the old dream about my "visual filament" burning out came back for the first time since last year...

On the plus side, an album I ordered came in after three weeks in the void, and Infraction Records threw in two others as a "hey, sorry" bonus. My wife keeps me from descending into a dad-style depressive funk, and the new computer I slapped together from (mostly) spare parts is running like a dream.

Task list for tomorrow: Car oil change, programming in C, grad school pondering, calling a local record store, reading more of Richard Matheson's Seven Steps to Midnight.

Should I be perplexed by the fact that I don't hate Windows Vista? Is this intellectually reconcilable with my long-term use and enjoyment of Slackware Linux?

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T01:49:32-07:00

I'm at work, waiting for the rising sun to sear my cornea. This last week has just been one long, messed up roller coaster ride, sprinkled liberally with gin. I lost a friend, who turned out to be more of a parasite, and still have to see her every day. I've dealt with it, walled it away, and moved on. There are more pressing matters. Like my roommate who's in mourning, and the bustle of new semester prep.

Akward as it may be, I've been considering a return to organised religion. I'm not sure if it's due to these tumultuous times or simply stemming from nostalgia. Either way, I figure obscure quotes from the Old Testament will start to come in handy at work. Simply cussing people out is starting to get a bit tawdry.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T01:54:14-07:00

Quick version: Vancouver->Seattle bus hit by semi. Result: a five hour border wait and a nasty knock to the head. (Of course I was the only person injured. Sheesh). Missed NZ David, was rescued By Adam. Okay now. At the Merc with Joseph, who is a darling.

Now to get back to dancing until I drop from smoke inhalation. My lips have already begun to tingle.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T02:00:21-07:00

I walk out of the studio; all sweating from writing and performance onto the busy Saturday night city street and everything I am is alive and focused in this urgent moment.
My head is on fire from the dark, beautiful, new music, my feet chew up pavement like a hungry animal as I pass the people dressed in mundane, poorly chosen clothing and I look right into their glassy, sedate cow eyes. These are the people who cannot be bothered to keep an eye on their elected officials. This is when I realize; I may be the only one alive in sight. I also feel very alone.
I absently wonder how many of them have committed themselves to a course of action in their lives that was not dictated to them by someone else and actually completed it.
I think of lil’ drooling idiot Gee Dubbya and how he is poking the bear, and I doubt if any of these people are paying attention. Do any of them remember the Russian prime minister’s warning? I know there are approximately 305,000,000 people in the wild; Wild West and approximately 40% of those households are armed. I “see” brilliant light ripping through their flesh, fixing their shadow on the building next to them and it occurs to me that perhaps the game played by our world leaders is one with the desired outcome being the loss of civilian life.
Just a theory mind you. Power corrupts and drives people mad.
Then I think of the road I have traveled and how hard it has been, for years.
I am grateful to be able to stand on stage with talented people who I know are as tough as me because we have shared a burden for a long time.
I could have traded my freedom for comfort and security, just as most of my friends have.
Instead, I came home from my shit job and worked on my art and music because it is what I love. I turned down a very high paying animation gig because it would have meant leaving behind what I want to do as an artist and musician. What I love has become exceptional and rarely beautiful because I have never bent my integrity with it.
I have always chosen it over all else.
I just never imagined it would take me this long to get where I am now. Today, I do not want a job drawing comics; I am engaged in creating great comic book stories.
Nor do I want a recording contract; I am busy making great records.
I am sure some of the extended, freely chosen struggles I have endured would drive many people bug-fuck crazy and I wonder if I am.
Then I remember, real crazy people believe they are sane.
I know how to survive and do mostly what I please.
I know myself and what I came here to do with art and music.
I only hope for more time with which to do it before the idiots blow us all to kingdom come.
I am tired and I lived today as if it was my last,
Good night White Chapel and especially you Invisible Space Daddy.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T02:09:36-07:00

just walked home from the bar and watching Highlander at the house of people just met. but mostly we talked about life, stories, religion, and random geekosity.

so, a better night than most.

now i'm about to eat a hot pocket before i die of alcohol poisoning.

yay, America.

Saturday Night Open Mic (23 Aug 08)

2008-08-24T02:09:46-07:00

Ruminating on some reading I did on Biden. He's got a smart mouth for someone who's been in Washington for 20-odd years. "Biden was noted for his one-liners on the campaign trail, saying of Republican then-frontrunner Rudy Giuliani at the October 30, 2007, debate in Philadelphia, 'There's only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, and a verb and 9/11.'"

Primum non nocere. Biden is Obama's VP because no one who was going to vote for Obama is now not going to vote for him, at least not in any large or coordinated fashion. Although the very idea that Obama has to be running a defensive campaign at this point is slightly worrying in-and-of itself, it's not really surprising: the country really does split down some easily-quantifiable lines, especially on social issues. Who knows how many Christians who agree with the Democratic platform on everything except abortion or gay marriage McCain gets to pick up free of charge.

Zogby appears to think that the resurgent Democratic party in America is no fluke; his book predicts major shifts in American society toward internationalism and environmentalism, and away from conspicuous consumption, within the next 20 years. This is heartening if correct.

One last though: the End-Times Christina Radicals have learned from the past. You won't hear Tim LeHaye giving concrete predictions for the date of the End of the World, at least not publicly. Instead, he and his ilk cast about their eyes, waiting for someone else to announce it. That way, they can come out in cautious support, but maintain credibility once the purported day comes and goes.

There is one upshot to the Democratic National Convention coming to town: my college campus closes all week as a security precaution.