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Mad Science: [Closed] Dolphins more like us than we thought

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  1.  (3505.1)
    Apparently bottle-nosed dolphins kill other species of dolphin and porpoise "for fun".

    Link
  2.  (3505.2)
    And it gets worse:

    Connor soon realised that these male gangs were after just one thing: sex. A trio—let's call them the Sharks—will kidnap a sexually receptive female from her normal group and hold her prisoner for a month or more. There is no gentle courtship. Instead the Sharks herd their trophy around, using brute force including thumping and biting to keep her moving where they want. Meanwhile they mate with her, either one at a time or sometimes simultaneously.


    Link
  3.  (3505.3)
    God I want to eat dolphin.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2008
     (3505.4)
    God I want to eat dolphin.

    They're into that, too.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJon Wake
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2008
     (3505.5)
    A marine biologist friend of mine once called dolphins the assholes of the sea. No one ever believes me. If the cannibal squid, death snakes, or fucking goblin sharks don't get you, the rape dolphins will.
  6.  (3505.6)
    "Never trust an animal that smiles all the time." -Terry Pratchett, referring to dolphins.
  7.  (3505.7)
    As Terry Pratchett also points out - we know dolphins are intelligent because when they attack humans they make sure they never leave any survivors.
    •  
      CommentAuthorm1k3y
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2008
     (3505.8)
    Not surprised at all.

    First we had the woman crushed by a 'freak accident'.

    Then 'gang drowning attempt'

    How long til they gang-rape some hippies? And can we bribe them!
    •  
      CommentAuthorm1k3y
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2008
     (3505.9)
    @Jon Wake

    In the future we will have underwater MMA: goblin sharks vs rape dolphins!
    •  
      CommentAuthorEgon
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2008
     (3505.10)
    I assume you've all read about the recent evolutionary mutations.

    Also...

  11.  (3505.11)
    There was a protest outside my workplace yesterday against Japan killing dolphins. I wanted to make a quick sign that said "rapists of the ocean," but my lunch break was over.
    •  
      CommentAuthorrickiep00h
    • CommentTimeSep 5th 2008
     (3505.12)
    "Oh, man, sharks! The killers of the sea! Oh, wait, you're just dolphins. The clowns of the sea! Hey, what's the gag? Ah! AAAAAAH!"

    Probably my favorite Simpsons Halloween short ever.

    inre: the actual topic - I've known dolphins are rapists for a long time. Couple years at least. I think I saw it on Discovery or something. Even the "normal" mating is pretty brutal, if I remember right.
  13.  (3505.13)
    So does that mean the dolphin from Seaquest was a rapist too? That would kinda make sense from what I remember about that show.
  14.  (3505.14)
    ...is there a species of animal that doesn't rape? Because, ever since I was six and discovery channel had fruit bat rape, I just assumed that this was standard in kingdom animalia. The gay rapist necrophiliac duck thing just confirmed it for me, really.

    I'll take being human with knives, pepper spray, stun guns, and electrified polo jackets any day of the week.
  15.  (3505.15)
    On a weird note...monkeys aren't much better. The fam and I went to the zoo and, swear to God, watched a chimp wrestle the head off a dead bird and fuck the neckhole. Should've taken video, I know.
    •  
      CommentAuthorstsparky
    • CommentTimeSep 7th 2008
     (3505.16)
    Dolphins are more polite because they are all armed. They can focus a sonic shock wave like a .45 pistol.

    Maybe they'll get more respect for being assholes?
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeSep 7th 2008
     (3505.17)
    Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.
  18.  (3505.18)
    There are animals that don't rape/incest/necro/pedo/etc.. but they are like .. 3-4 tops .. from what I have seen around.

    And even thought ducks are the worse, I think the albatross is one of the monogamic/good guys:

    Pair bonds between males and females form over several years, with the use of 'ritualised dances', and will last for the life of the pair.
    Wiki

    stare

    Wouldn't bet on it thought... there are always some black sheep lol

    As these..

    FoxNews, they must be lying!! (thought, still monogamic.. and no rape and shit..)

    Edit: Count Penguins and Seals out:

    seal

    Seal Tries to Rape Penguin:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7379554.stm

    And from the same link, this piece of text on penguins:
    Chinstrap penguins occasionally indulge in homosexual behaviour, and adelie penguins sometimes "prostitute" themselves to get stones for nest-building; while one in seven emperor penguins will change partners from one year to the next.


    >_>
  19.  (3505.19)
    Wow...saw that article in the Onion way back when was inadvertantly serious
    • CommentAuthorahaman85
    • CommentTimeSep 10th 2008
     (3505.20)
    * Kosmopolit
    * CommentTime5 days ago

    (3505.1)
    Apparently bottle-nosed dolphins kill other species of dolphin and porpoise "for fun".

    You might say that they kill "on porpoise"

    oh, snap

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