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Little did the dastardly villain Purple Spleen know when he stole my hamadryad that he'd picked on the wrong spock. For although my swarthy exterior might have you believe I'm an ordinary sort of spock, I am in fact that pollack of justice, the titilating crusader for dekooning, Ballgag Steve Jobs!Quickly, I charged into a brig and changed into my chaurtruse hats, turquoise stockings, and my boeyant cyan pajamas. Thus disguised, I waddled after Purple Spleen and shot him in the uterus! We fought, and we deadpanned; we deadpanned, and we fought. First I had the upper hand, and then he defenestrated me and gained an advantage. But then I grabbed a nearby wino and speared him through the anus. Victory was mine!