2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla & Feed Publisher http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11899#Comment_11899 2008-01-13T13:16:33-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

First of all, let me state right up front that I am bad with women. Wait, no - I am good with women, but I am bad at "pulling the trigger"... ie getting phone numbers, bedding them, etc ...

good with women, but I am bad at "pulling the trigger"... ie getting phone numbers, bedding them, etc etc. Last night, I am at this party, and this girl is with her friends. I am with my friends. Our friends talk. We talk. She is hot. I am a nerd.

Now, normally Hot girls + Nerds = Awkward Conversations That Go Nowhere And Waste Everyone's Time. But unbelievably, not tonight! As luck would have it, this hot girl is actually really into horror movies... As am I. It turns out she's a special effects artist, and is currently making fake human organs for her job. I am blown away. But do I get a phone number? Of course not. However, as she's leaving, she tells me to get her number from my friend. I am intrigued.

So provided I get the number, waht do I do and when do I do it? I can't stand real dates... They're just so awkward and boring. Going to a movie is sitting in the dark with a stranger and not talking. Drinks mean me getting rip roaring drunk and making an ass of myself. Museum? No. Paintball shooting? Too cold outside. This is where I run into trouble.

Come on, White Chapel. Help me out here.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11900#Comment_11900 2008-01-13T13:32:38-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 warrenellis http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2

...well, at least it's in the Zoo, I suppose...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11903#Comment_11903 2008-01-13T13:34:16-08:00 2008-01-13T13:34:41-08:00 Andre Navarro http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1561

Come on, White Chapel. Help me out here. Step 1 - Go to the bathroom Step 2 - Get a razor blade. Step 3 - Cut your wrists Step 4 - Wait

Come on, White Chapel. Help me out here.

Step 1 - Go to the bathroom

Step 2 - Get a razor blade.

Step 3 - Cut your wrists

Step 4 - Wait]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11904#Comment_11904 2008-01-13T13:34:41-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 alwayscrashing http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=162

Rohypnol!

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11906#Comment_11906 2008-01-13T13:36:12-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 warrenellis http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2

10 points to Andre

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11910#Comment_11910 2008-01-13T13:43:01-08:00 2008-01-13T14:01:26-08:00 oldhat http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=75

Once I read this, I just smiled and thought "Get 'im, boys". I'm glad I wasn't disappointed. My advice? Kill a squirrel, gut it, and mail it to her with a note written in your own ...

My advice? Kill a squirrel, gut it, and mail it to her with a note written in your own blood. And don't forget to include a condom with the whole thing. Take it from me, girls LOVE that sort of thing.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11914#Comment_11914 2008-01-13T13:56:42-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 acacia http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1559

Most dates these days begin with tea followed by anal sex. If you mention this to her right off the bat, I am certain she'll be so impressed by your Whitechapel-induced hipness that she'll skip the ...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11915#Comment_11915 2008-01-13T13:59:32-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 warrenellis http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2

10 points acacia and robin.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11916#Comment_11916 2008-01-13T14:02:05-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

I'm not sure that would work... I mean, have you ever tried to catch a squirrel? Those little fuckers are fast!!

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11917#Comment_11917 2008-01-13T14:03:41-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 warrenellis http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2

You bribe them with food to get them close, much as one does with women. Have you tried that?

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11918#Comment_11918 2008-01-13T14:04:06-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

Also, it seems a little presumptuous to go right for the poop chute, no? I mean... If that's what you guys think I should do...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11919#Comment_11919 2008-01-13T14:04:38-08:00 2008-01-13T14:05:46-08:00 oldhat http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=75

@Viceroy: what about a puppy? Women love gutted puppies. And I do believe that's 10 points to Mr. Ellis.

And I do believe that's 10 points to Mr. Ellis.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11920#Comment_11920 2008-01-13T14:05:00-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

@ Warren - Yes! But they bite! The women, I mean...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11921#Comment_11921 2008-01-13T14:06:07-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

I don't want to mess up my knives, and puppies are too hard to drown! Harder than you'd think, at least.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11922#Comment_11922 2008-01-13T14:08:21-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 warrenellis http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2

The funniest thing, of course, is that Viceroy joined just to ask this question...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11923#Comment_11923 2008-01-13T14:09:04-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

HA HA HA HA HA. Yes.

Yes.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11924#Comment_11924 2008-01-13T14:11:27-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Andre Navarro http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1561

Also, it seems a little presumptuous to go right for the poop chute, no? You're still trying to get the girl on a date. Worry about that later.

Also, it seems a little presumptuous to go right for the poop chute, no?

You're still trying to get the girl on a date. Worry about that later.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11925#Comment_11925 2008-01-13T14:13:51-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 acacia http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1559

"Poop chute"? Oh dear, now I feel awkward.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11926#Comment_11926 2008-01-13T14:15:43-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 oldhat http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=75

No one calls it a poop chute anymore. I believe the correct term is "anal-love pussy".

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11927#Comment_11927 2008-01-13T14:17:36-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

Sorry acacia... I meant to say "Excrement Expulsion Back-Mouth". God, WHY ARE GIRLS NOT ATTRACTED TO ME??!?

God, WHY ARE GIRLS NOT ATTRACTED TO ME??!?]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11928#Comment_11928 2008-01-13T14:19:22-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Andre Navarro http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1561

God, WHY ARE GIRLS NOT ATTRACTED TO ME??!? Maybe, JUST MAYBE, because of this: "Come on, White Chapel. Help me out here."

God, WHY ARE GIRLS NOT ATTRACTED TO ME??!?

Maybe, JUST MAYBE, because of this: "Come on, White Chapel. Help me out here."]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11931#Comment_11931 2008-01-13T14:22:32-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 acacia http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1559

Indeed, clearly there is no space in "Whitechapel." It's in the title bar.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11932#Comment_11932 2008-01-13T14:23:50-08:00 2008-01-13T14:28:33-08:00 Andre Navarro http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1561

Indeed, clearly there is no space in "Whitechapel." It's in the title bar. That's only one of the reasons. I mean, read the title of this thread.

Indeed, clearly there is no space in "Whitechapel." It's in the title bar.

That's only one of the reasons. I mean, read the title of this thread.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11933#Comment_11933 2008-01-13T14:28:27-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

Well, truth be told, if we're going by the title bar, then shouldn't you two be spelling it whiteChapel? Clearly, the "C" in "Chapel" is larger than the other letters. I'm just ...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11934#Comment_11934 2008-01-13T14:29:09-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 acacia http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1559

Well, the predominant imagery here, is, I think, anal sex, and its inevitable dysphemisms. My work is done.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11935#Comment_11935 2008-01-13T14:34:38-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Viceroy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1697

All right, well, thanks for your help everybody. I'll let you know how it all turns out!

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11936#Comment_11936 2008-01-13T14:35:14-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 Ariana http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1

I'll let you know how it all turns out! No need.

I'll let you know how it all turns out!
No need.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=496&Focus=11938#Comment_11938 2008-01-13T14:36:09-08:00 2013-05-18T15:20:44-07:00 warrenellis http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2

And we'll draw a veil over this. 20 points to Ariana.

20 points to Ariana.]]>