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London Zoo: Zounds! The Heirloom Cursing Preservation Thread

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    • CommentAuthorEbony14
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009
     (4994.41)
    An old friend often uses "Fuckle" as an expletive for situations requiring something less than "Fuck!" and more than "Piffle."

    I've adopted Bill Willingham's "Crapcakes on fire!" for use in everyday life. Saw it in an old issue of The Elementals. It's best if muttered under your breath in exasperation. I also use "Bloody Hell" fairly often.
  2.  (4994.42)
    Crom!
  3.  (4994.43)
    My father, from rural Ireland and born in 1924, used to yell "CUNTPASTE" when really, really angry.

    This made my mother laugh hysterically.
  4.  (4994.44)
    I get flack for saying "Rats" and "Nuts" at work where I can't swear as profusely.

    A favorite of mine is the exclamation "murder!" but not pertaining to an actual murder.

    We invented "bonch" meaning taint or choade(it's regional, I know,) In high school. It's a satisfying thing to call someone. Try saying it.

    I suppose after the Tintin movie comes out everyone will be screaming "Billions of Billious Blistering Blue Barnacles!" That's okay by me.
  5.  (4994.45)
    "Great Odin's beard!" is my favorite exclamation.
    •  
      CommentAuthorYskaya
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009
     (4994.46)
    Stuff that falls of my lips every now and then:

    Gods thumbs
    Cracker jack
    Sock puppet
    Pansy.
    slapper.
    finaggely bastard
    puta (whore)
    hijo de puta (son of a whore)
    Putain (whoremonger)
    Danku (is a french cussword and means 'thank you' in dutch.)
    Schweinehunde (pig-dog)
    Dachshund (wienerdog)
    Somnambulist
    ....you sorry excuse for a diabetic verisimilitude of a real mars bar.
    Fuckwit.
  7.  (4994.47)
    This thread mostly reminds me of the sublime way Peter Weller says "the Deuce you say" in Buckaroo Banzai.
    • CommentAuthorpoor_boy
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009
     (4994.48)
    The worst parts are when I stop speaking and start burning things.
    :p
    • CommentAuthoricelandbob
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009 edited
     (4994.49)
    My favoutie one as a kid was when i used to read the Broons and Oor Wullie

    "Jings, Crivens!' help ma' boab!" Essentially it means Jesus Christ! Help me god!

    Of course my mums favourite curse to use is "You're as thick as fucking pig shit" My mum be well classy.
    •  
      CommentAuthorLazarus99
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009
     (4994.50)
    Shit-sticks
    Buggery-fuck
    •  
      CommentAuthorJon Wake
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009 edited
     (4994.51)
    A friend of mine will shout "JACKALS!" at anything or one that annoys her. It's very satisfying.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSmudge
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009
     (4994.52)
    Blimey has always been a favorite. Hootch, as in "Outta the way, you scabby hootch!" (most often directed at females). And just recently I've added "jings" thanks to Garth Ennis and Wee Hughie.
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      CommentAuthorLazarus99
    • CommentTimeFeb 10th 2009 edited
     (4994.53)
    Extremely bloody hell...an old one from Paul Whicker, Tall Vicar
  14.  (4994.54)
    I just said "Oy Vey" after reading a review of Mad Men that I didn't agree with, and realised I say that a lot.
  15.  (4994.55)
    I tend to say... by the gods, oh gods or by Odins beard because it annoys monotheists at my work. It also tends to get laughs from the right people.I got a quizzical look from my girlfriend the other day when I said Grud.
  16.  (4994.56)
    "gut-sucking" has some nice plosive sounds, and flows well with "gut-sucking son of a whore"

    although i think that evolved out of "goat-sucking."

    "fucksticks" and "cuntbasket" are some local favorites. "fuckberries" makes a great expression of frustration.

    I've heard the same etymology for zounds- as in "god's wounds," which is why i've always said zoonds. also, per inspector gadget, "egads" im pretty sure is descended from "ye gods."
  17.  (4994.57)
    Son of a motherless goat
    Son of a misborn dog

    fuckbunnies

    "Pigfucker" is a new one I've heard locally.
  18.  (4994.58)
    "baca!" a derivation from the spanish word for cow. Mild annoyance.
    "Frijole verde" the incorrect way to say green bean. Surprise, usually.
    • CommentAuthorE0157H7
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.59)
    An old favorite of mine is "skullfuck". It can be anything from a stand-in for "mindfuck" to a threat (I'm going to beat you down and skullfuck you, you little bastard.) It's very versatile.

    Another one that I love is "fuck puppet", which I read in A Dirty Job. It's a very apt description of a lot of people in California.

    I have asked "Do I get a blowjob with that?" when confronted with excessive prices several times.

    But my all-time favorite? It has to be variations of "Are you going to break out the knee pads? Because you're going to be down there a while."
    •  
      CommentAuthorAdam
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.60)
    "Fuck-knuckle" comes courtesy of the great Bill Hunter. Wonderful replacement for moron.

    When I'm particularly irritated over an extended amount of time, I start to gather increasingly long strings of the filthiest phrases I can concoct at the time. Eg. "Oh, you rim-licking, cunt-faced, paedophile-pleasing offspring of a syphillis-rotted whore..."

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