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London Zoo: Zounds! The Heirloom Cursing Preservation Thread

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      CommentAuthorOsmosis
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.61)
    I know it's cheating to use Deadwood as inspiration, but "heavy-thumbed motherfucker" has always stood me in good stead.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFinagle
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.62)
    Ah yes - "cocksucker" as well is a little underused, I think, and Deadwood did a service in reviving it.
  3.  (4994.63)
    I blame Deadwood for teaching me "Cocksucker" and "hooplehead".
    •  
      CommentAuthorThom B.
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.64)
    I was just ruminating on the fact that Curse words were originally intended to cause the target ill fate. Something that's fallen from usage of late.
    How about wishing a Cancer upon someone?

    "A throat tumor upon you and all your heirs!"
    •  
      CommentAuthorFinagle
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.65)
    "Foreclosure be upon you!"
    "An hemorrhagic fever upon them!"
    "A pox upon your credit rating!"
  6.  (4994.66)
    Since Scottish oaths were mentioned, let's hear it for 'gobshite'. And 'cuntybaws'.
    •  
      CommentAuthorsneak046
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009 edited
     (4994.67)
    my scottish relatives have been known to use both
    jings for general exclamation and ya wee jobbie instead of the english you little shit.

    i personally enjoy a good hearty for fuck´s sake and when cut up while driving my favoured expletive is you fucking wanker, though there are plenty of others ´cos i do have the effing awful habit of using swearwords as punctuation
  8.  (4994.68)
    And of course for the Mike Carey fans there’s “sweet mother of fuck!”
    •  
      CommentAuthorCyman
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.69)
    I blaim Deadwood for "Cocksucker!",
    Warren for "Fucksticks!",
    Kevin Smith for "Jesus titty-fucking Christ!" (I think Bill Maher uses that one, too),
    Trey Parker for "Science H. Logic!" or some variation therein.
    "Cuntlinger" is I think one that just came out and stuck.

    From my grandfather I've adopted "Hooey!" and "Fiddle!", but really any string of obscenities/ non-obscenities works. I find myself exclaiming "Boners" or "Balls" sometimes, but that's not worth many points. When losing at things, I will annoint my opponent a "boner-biter" or "fuckmonger". "Shitballs" is another common one.
  10.  (4994.70)
    I worked with someone that would often threaten....
    "I'm going to murder seven generations of your family....too much? sorry that was probably too much"
    • CommentAuthorpoor_boy
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009 edited
     (4994.71)
    I've been debating with myself over whether or not to even post this...eh, fuck it why not.
    <blockquote>let my little brother take a shit in her mouth. </blockquote>
    That's part of a post from a guy I know on xbox.com, which is a great place to find the swears...
    I'm not going to befoul Whitechapel with the entire post, but there's a link <a href="http://forums.xbox.com/2/25568015/ShowPost.aspx#25568015">here </a>if anybody wants to see it.
    (it starts getting really funny about halfway down the page, btw)
    •  
      CommentAuthorLazarus99
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.72)
    @Sir Legendhead
    • CommentAuthorradian
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2009
     (4994.73)
    I thought zounds evolving from God's wounds was a myth?
  14.  (4994.74)
    @Sir Legendhead

    I'm from Tennessee and I say Hell's Bells all the time. Strange coincidence. :)

    Cocksmoker is good. Richardsmoker is really subtle version.(Thanks, Ween) I learned in Spanish "Me cago" is right up there. It means "I shit", but it's really shortened statement, something like "I shit in your dead mother's vagina", as I understand it.
  15.  (4994.75)
    After spending two summers in Fargo ND I have a hard time removing "Holy Buckets" from my vernacular. Of course that's about the tamest thing to ever come out of my mouth. I'm pretty fond of phrases like "Shitballs" "Fucknugget" and "Swear to Mohammad" and a multitude of random swears.

    But if we're going for heirlooms outside of the Carlin 7 dirty words and variations of them ...

    Well golly gee whiz, I got nothin.
  16.  (4994.76)
    Monkeyfucker. Polesmoker.

    From Greg Rucka's Critical Space: Fart-breathed ass-miner and shit-eating goat fucker.

    A friend of mine takes great joy in referring to something good as being "tits," as previously expressed.

    Stephen King used to be fantastic for providing variations on taking the Lord's name in vain. Every new book my mother purchased was fanatically searched for the latest concoction. Two that I remember (and that have stuck with me) are "Jesus jumpin' Christ on a pogo stick" and "Christ in a Chevy."

    I used to say "Jesus in a hat" for some reason.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAdam
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2009
     (4994.77)
    Heheheh - my cousin just came up with a pearl. Senator Nick Xenophon today blocked a proposed Au$48 billion Economic Stimulus package that would have seen every employed Australian receive at least $950 each. Blocked it because he wanted an amendment added that would see extra funding go to an environmental revamping initiative for a failing river system.

    Her response? "Xenophon, you peanut!"

    And that has as much impact as the filthiest abuse any of us could put together.
    • CommentAuthorpoor_boy
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2009
     (4994.78)
    Well suck my dick with a crocodile's mouth.
  19.  (4994.79)
    I worked with sailors for years but didn't start cursing till I joined a newspaper.

    I mix the fucks and the "S'blood!"s pretty evenly.
  20.  (4994.80)
    "Sweet Lady Jesus on a vibrating crucifix" is another favorite around here. It's not hugely common, just popular, due the the fact that it raises uncomfortable questions about the last supper.

    "Jesus in a hat?" I might have to take that one out on the town.

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