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    • CommentTimeNov 27th 2007 edited
    The rules are very simple.

    * Don't Be An Arsehole.

    Being an arsehole may get you cautioned. It may get you suspended. It may get you locked out. These punishments will be delivered randomly, haphazardly, ruthlessly and sometimes without any warning. It will totally depend on whether or not I've had enough caffeine and nicotine. Arse Eels may be involved. When in doubt: just don't be an arsehole. If you don't know how not to be an arsehole? Ask a grown-up. Straight up: if you can't spend time on the web without abusing other people or generally fucking with things, you're going to get bounced out of here pretty sharpish. Okay?

    * Don't Come Here Just To Argue.

    It is boring to me. When Ariana or I tell you to shut up? It's time to shut up now.

    * You Own Your Own Words.

    But we own the Arse Eels.

    * Whitechapel is Never Safe For Work.

    Seriously. I mean, don't even think about complaining about that.

    * Don't Post Your Fiction Here.

    It makes the place a legal minefield. I don't have a problem with fan art, but fan fiction creates difficulties for me and any other pro writer visiting. This is not up for discussion. I refer you to Arse Eels above, yes?

    And that's about it, really. You may run free, my children. Stick to the intent of each Category when you're posting. If what you've got doesn't fit any category, or doesn't fit anyone's concept of sanity, then into London Zoo it goes, and you can take your chances in the swamp there. God only knows what'll end up growing in that place.

    We reserve the right to edit, add to or deny the existence of the above at any time we feel like.

    -- W
    • CommentAuthorKinesys
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007
    May links to existing work be posted here? Or is that problematical too?
  1.  (5.3)
    That, we can do, I think.
    • CommentAuthorDanielSF
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007
    * Whitechapel is Never Safe For Work.
    I had to think about that for a couple of seconds. Clearly, I've not been spending enough time on the internet lately, as I was trying to figure out what you had against Whitechapel, London...
    • CommentAuthorKinesys
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007

    Also: Yay!
  2.  (5.6)
    Don't Post Your Fiction Here.

    The personalities posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
    Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
  3.  (5.7)
    It's a police state, but it's a benevolent police state. Common sense must be enforced.
    • CommentAuthorhank
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007
    I still want a bowel disruptor, dammit. I live in DC, think of the possibilities.
  4.  (5.9)
    I´ve aknowledged the rules and like to be accepted by se almeidy Warren (as they call him in Germany) in this fine community and will prove worthy by staying sober, clean of drugs all the time and not posing my fiction and not making an arse of myself.

    p:s. I will certainly keep the part of not positng my fiction or making an (deliberate) arse of myself.
  5.  (5.10)
    seams fair
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007 edited
    Re: Stalker#1358

    Speak for yourself. In my day-to-day, I'm just as anonymous as I am here on the
    internet. There's no fiction in the fact that I'm beneath notice where-ever I am.
    The simple fact is, some of us would rather lurk and be left to our devises while
    still maintaining some connection with the outside world (so that we know what
    to say to the cashier at the grocery without scaring him). If I could ably and
    convincingly pretend to be someone else, I would. I'm *that* interesting. My
    main point here: the internet is full of fanboys and assholes who are fully
    and stubbornly convinced they *are* the next Warren Ellis, they gave Brian K.
    Vaughn all of their best ideas, and that Steven Niles owes them royalties for
    stealing their idea to do a movie about vampires and snow. These people
    sound harmless, but sadly infinite time (and in some cases, a fat wallet) can do
    criminally stupid things to people's brains. They will, in fact, sue your ass for
    having two cheeks, and file a civil lawsuit against the half that turned in pity.
    Not all of us are content being anonymous drones. There are people who would
    do anything to be noticed for five minutes, including ruining someone's career.
    Then there are the truly delusional 'you read my mind and picked it clean' people..

    You know where the bodies are buried.

    You say no fiction here. No problem. No need to involve the arse eels. I go lurking now.

    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007
    I think a random arse eels is necessary, even if it means administering it to me. We all deserve to see what this involves.
    • CommentAuthorKinesys
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007 edited
    I sense a Youtube video coming on.
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2007
  6.  (5.15)
    Aye, Cap'n
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2007
    Always the eels with you...
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2007
    Seems like common sense to me.
  7.  (5.18)
    If only Warren could imposed a few of these easy to follow instructions on the rest of the Internets (and world for that matter), then we'd all have a much better day of things.
    • CommentAuthorWidgett
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2007
    hank: I'm amazed there isn't a prop replica of a bowel disruptor. Hell, I would be cool with a plush two-headed cat. I bought the replica glasses, but they don't fit on my Oliver Platt-sized noggin. :-(

    geeksofdoom: On my site we only have a variation of the first rule (ours is "don't be a dick"). It's been surprisingly effective with only a few people getting banned in nine years. Which is good because, you know, arse eels are expensive; we could never afford them.
  8.  (5.20)
    A question, not that I'm arguing against the rule (and apologies for being thick).

    I've seen the 'no fiction' rule on a lot of message boards and I understand that this is so that some nutter doesn't try claiming that someone stole their ideas.

    i.e Mr Ellis writes a comic about a dyslexic atheistic teddy-bear, someone tries suing him citing the 'fact' that they wrote such an idea elsewhere.

    But how does an internet forum differ legally from work that someone has published elsewhere (fan fiction, own website or book)? How does this defend people against a random nutter claiming that a published work doesn't come from their own site?

    Is it just because there is no way you can defend against not seeing something written on your own message board?