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Main Junction: [Closed] Gifts for Warren

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      CommentAuthorlofidelity
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008 edited
     (538.1)
    I believe an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite amount of money would eventually buy something that pleases Warren ... or kill themselves by eating all the money and suffering infinite paper cuts to their digestive tract.

    However, that is a different subject I am not here to test.

    If you could send one gift to Warren right now that is within your means or ability to acquire, what would you send him? (No assuming you have money you don't currently...see above theory why this would just be boring. Warren only needs so many sports cars, and even he can only support/use so many hookers/Filthy Assistants/teenage raver cat girls at once.)

    I used to think it would be a grand joke to send him an Apple computer, just for the fun of converting him to the side of evil.

    However, I think now it would be a copy of "The God Delusion" if for no more reason than to someday hear the phrase "American Taliban" escape his lips.

    Anyone else?
  2.  (538.2)
    I think I would send him some cammo duct tape.
    He'd find a use for it, I'm sure.
  3.  (538.3)
    My unyielding, undivided attention.
  4.  (538.4)
    ...oh, god...
  5.  (538.5)
    Something that will allow him to punch people through the Internet.
  6.  (538.6)
    I would send him a shiny red apple. Because I'm good like that.
  7.  (538.7)
    A replacement knee.

    (Having been laid up with similar, I have sympathy)
  8.  (538.8)
    some sort of box that keeps internet wierdos from making weird posts like this. zing!
  9.  (538.9)
    beer.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAva Jarvis
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008
     (538.10)
    Batch operations for Facebook.
    •  
      CommentAuthorEgon
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008
     (538.11)
    Arse Eels

    Buckets and buckets of Arse Eels.
  12.  (538.12)
    Bees get Warren bees as a present. They can sting his enemies and make honey.
  13.  (538.13)
    I think I would like to also get him a shiny petoskey stone rock, and a half-empty bag of potato chips.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDrunkard
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008
     (538.14)
    Nothing says appreciation like living human organs. When you need that new replacement liver you don't want to have to look too far for it. :)
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008
     (538.15)
    A alpaca that lactates Red Bull.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008
     (538.16)
    Twenty bucks.
    •  
      CommentAuthorRachel
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008 edited
     (538.17)
    A corner table in the pub, with a red bull and an ashtray.

    Warren, tell me you don't want that because I'd kill a man for one.
  18.  (538.18)
    Rachel Wins!
    • CommentAuthorRoss
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008
     (538.19)
    A Kitten.

    Or Perhaps 400 Kittens
    •  
      CommentAuthorFerburton
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2008 edited
     (538.20)
    the word Scientificition.

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