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    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008 edited
    I feel sad and queasy that the Presidential race will probably be between Hillary Clinton and John McCain (with Reverend Huckleberry as his running mate). McCain will win and then probably die of a stroke two months into his term, leaving our nation (and, pretty much, yours, given how closely Britain's tethered to our foreign policy insanity) in the hands of a guy who thinks God made us all 6,000 years ago or so and put dino bones in the earth as some kind of prank.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    Just got back from Minneapolis. It is, as the locals say, motherfucking cold. Not so bad right now (it's 6F here) but it was -14F up north. I had a chance to spend time with some absolutely wonderful people and I did a good deal of networking. It's somewhat comforting to know that my social contacts are expanding out here. I'm used to being on the east coast and knowing everyone I'm in contact with, so this is new and kind of nice.

    Thus far, I have a solid A (93.5/100) in the philosophy/religion class that I'm taking for January term. I have 5 more essays to write, and then a five page final paper. This class has been really good for me. I've been writing two pages worth of material every night for the last two weeks, and it's really helped me get back into the college-y mood after being out for a year.

    I'm on some new medication that is working well, and the side effects are tolerable. I have an attention span! It's kind of interesting to be able to focus on one thing for more than 10 minutes. Plus, it's really helped with motivation to Get Shit Done.

    Off to write another essay. Take care.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    Oh, also I would like to share this with all of my fellow Americans who are getting tomorrow off:

    Jesus and President Bush love you:Photobucket
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    Just back from directing a pick-up rehearsal for a short play that will be going up next weekend, and prior to that, a trip to Costco to purchase one of those air-purifier, negative ion generator thingies. Soon, my air will smell fresh and clean as a spring meadow, and not like cat dandruff much at all.

    Currently contemplating whether to have a Bi-Frost, a Bunnahabhain - or both. Also debating whether to go see "Cloverfield" or Mike Daisey's "Monopoly". Mike would be the more interesting choice, but several people from my office were planning to go, and I HATE to mix work and pleasure, so "Cloverfield" is winning at the moment.
  1.  (571.105)
    worked 14 hours yesterday at a magic card (prerelease) tournament, and then worked three hours today on my day off. just hiked up the mountain and snowboarded down in zero degrees fahrenheit.
    blue collar comedy is on now, and larry the cable guy was introduced as the next president of the united states.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008 edited
    I haven't seen my girlfriend naked in two months. Haven't had intercourse in six. When my hand inches too close to her erogenous zones, she starts to tremble and pushes me away. All of my gestures of affection beyond a simple hug or a kiss on the cheek are rebuffed because it makes her think of vaginismus, objectification, victimization and alienation. We've both never felt so strongly that we were right where we belong. But, because of that love, because of that emotional closeness, her brain triggers a flight response at the slightest touch. The deeper the feelings go, the stronger the negation of those feelings.

    I want to track down the bastard who raped her and cut his cock off. I want him to know what it's like to be pushed further from what he loves the more he loves it. I want to remove him from the equation. I want to remove that part of her that hurts herself. I want to remove the part of me that makes her healing more difficult by always being around.

    More than I anything, I just want to stop breaking the other things around me out of frustration. I want everyone's therapy to start being therapeutic instead of acting as a placeholder for effective change. Nothing has gotten better, it's all only gotten worse. I knew this process would be slow, but I never thought we'd actually move backwards.
  2.  (571.107)
    I'm at that frustration point. Where everything seems stagnant, and things are not getting better and life is just too damn expensive. I don't know what's next with my art but I'm not pushing myself and I'm not doing anything that surprises me or interests me. I don't know what to do, because it feels like I have no new ideas. I have ideas, but they're boring as hell. What to do what to do what to do. I'm tired of self portraits and nothing seems to be coming to me. I don't even have any daft experimental ideas right now.

    I'm also very frustrated with my ever single-ness. It's gotten to the point where I don't even really crush on anyone anymore. It feels like all my friends are in couples and here I am this incompetent dolt who can't find someone to relate to. Pathetic.

    How's that for cranky and whiny?
    • CommentAuthorseldon
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008 edited
    I decided at 4am to finally make the jump away from windows. transitioned from xp to kubuntu over the course today, and couldn't be happier.

    eta: the little things, like spending two hours trying to get my touchpad to not tap-click, make up for the fact that its generally faster and more flexible than anything Ive used before.

    I just couldn't take another day of windows :p
  3.  (571.109)
    Today? Coffee coffee coffee... later on there will be radio, and after that there will likely be scotch...

    Listening to Biota's new one, full of folky instruments, inexplicable compositions and oblique electronics. Always a pleasure.

    Rereading Pynchon's "V" before I wallow in "Against The Day".

    Trying to figure out who all these lackluster and anonymous bands are who insist they're my "friends" on MySpace...

    Killing time at places like this until my laundry's done.

    Wishing the sun didn't set at 3:30pm.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    Y'know what sucks? Knwoing who did it, meeting him, and not being allowed to pull steel and stab him right there. That's damn frustrating.

    As for moving backwards, I know that feeling too. It'll work out. The point is you care. It takes damn forever but it gets better.
  4.  (571.111)
    Wishing I knew how to better market myself and get my work out onto the covers of books, comics, cd's, someone's chest, Warren's home.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    I don't know how you restrained yourself; that's quite a display of will. Kudos on not getting yourself locked up.
    And thanks for the words of encouragement. I need to hear that. If you can recommend anything more than 'see a relationship / sexual dysfunction / personal therapist', I'd love to hear it. Otherwise, be well and best of luck in your ventures.
    • CommentAuthorandrewhein
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    I got back from a lovely couple of weeks in Prague. Can't seem to shake the cites grip on my mind though. Every night my dreams are filled with visions of crimes I didn't commit in its streets.

    The strangest one from last night involved a local store owner giving me a stack of fine meats I would never eat in exchange for protection. Walking past bars filled with drunk American tourists I felt the need to apologize for. The whole time making sure no one got their hands of my lovely pink pieces of cow.

    I'm not sure if my brain is telling me to never go back or to move there.
    • CommentAuthorMacgyver
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    That sucks. When I was younger my mum had a friend who had been raped at some point. I remember one time when my dad answered the door to her she just started screaming. Fucking awful...

    Hit that point myself about 2 years ago. Was a very weird feeling as up until that point I'd always had someone I was interested in. Didn't mean I wasn't single most of the time, but not having a focus for my affections was bizarre. I was worried that that was it and I wouldn't be bothered again which worried me. That changed though.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008 edited
    damn... i ache all over and actually feel my age today - apparently i overdid the fun & sex friday night/saturday morning and now i'm paying for it...

    why do our bodies have to be so damn fragile anyway?

    ah well; i'm going to finish re-dying my hair (purple/magenta this week) then get ready to go dancing anyway - hopefully the corset will reduce the back pain and pressure so i can enjoy myself
    • CommentAuthorSasha_mak
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    Well today I was working on a short story. A steampunk/Metropolis type thing. It is really hard because I really have to work on how to effectively allow the reader to enter this world without feeling cold.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    leathercog003I made stuff over the weekend. Some of it isn't done yet because I didn't get to use the soldering iron and I forgot to ask my housemate for the dremel. I like cutting things up and reassembling them. I also like to crimp, tie and thread. I hate beading. Beading can go die in a fire.

    I'm still enjoying a sickening sappy nerd romance. Nerdboy and I have decided to take a long weekend at my mother's place, arriving there on Feb 14th. My borderline alcoholic, recently divorced mother's place.

    Wish me luck.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    no finer love than nerd love
  5.  (571.119)

    I just saw CLOVERFIELD last night and realized that I'm in the mood for something NEW... something EXCITING... or at least something unlike anything else I've seen in a while.

    What's the best non-"Big Four" comicbook out there that's so DIFFERENT (from most of the "popular" stuff on the shelves) that we should go check out based solely on your reccomendation?

    Best wishes,
    Dirk Manning
    • CommentAuthorNadreck
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2008
    Getting over a cold, and internet at the apartment is FUBAR at the moment. Still unemployed. That said, I'm now out of most of my debt through selling off most of the stocks I inherited from my grandmother, which is a load off my mind, and has helped my general outlook a fair bit. Still debating giving up my apartment and living homeless until a job shows up (don't suppose you need an assistant? I'm serious). There are a few benefits, and a lot of drawbacks.

    Still dreaming about a girl I've not spoken to in a year. It's been a long time since things felt like they were really going my way, and a mediocre or slightly above neutral result being my "good" outcomes (maybe I'm expecting too much, but you shouldn't have to qualify comparatively good things happening with "hey, it could have been worse"). Don't mean to be emo about any of this, it's just been fucking with my chi.