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    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    Several people have recently noted to me that they developed careful typing and editing habits developed from posting on the Internet while drunk.

    I myself have found that the ability to get up in the morning with the alarm and carry out one's morning routine and show up to work on time while badly hurting has been a lifelong useful skill.

    Smoking has also helped make me a fantastic one-handed driver.

  1.  (5873.2)
    I am one of those people who learned to type when drunk.
    • CommentAuthoricelandbob
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    I´m dong it rihgt noe!!
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    I too can do all kinds of shit while driving one-handed. Thanks, smoking!
    • CommentAuthorRedwynd
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009 edited
    I've learned to navigate my way around cities very, very well, and always find my way back home. This comes to me by way of bar-hopping, and going home with people I find there.

    Edit: I've also learned to survive on a steady diet of rice, owing to my unfortunate habit of telling bosses where to shove it.
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    Ah, the old drunken homing instinct has served me well on many an occaision...
  2.  (5873.7)
    I can fake sober like no one's business. It's a survival technique you pick up when drinking with older rednecks who like to fuck with drunk teens. I still have it. It's kind of scary.
    • CommentAuthorpoor_boy
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    Every once in a while, I'll wake up with a hangover and a new blog that I have no recollection of having written. The funny/scary thing is, these drunken little fugue-poems of mine get a more positive reaction than the stuff I write when I'm sober.

    And yeah, strangely enough, there are never any typos. Evidently the drunk me is a pretty decent proofreader...?
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    I have managed to fake being straight while talking to parents a few times in the past. Not normally such an achievement, but
    I was on acid at the time...wheee!
  3.  (5873.10)
    Supressing vomit while drinking tequila. Lime, salt, the heroes of many a drunken night.
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    Rarely do I get hangovers. And I drink. A LOT.

    I can blow smoke rings well enough to entertain a group of children.

    I can roll a joint in a moving car in the dark. Filter and everything. Can't do it one-handed or I would be officially Too Cool To Live.

    I've always made it home, by guess or by God. Except for That Once. Ended up sleeping at work. They thought a rubby had broken in.

    I've talked to cops on acid. (Granted, this was YEARS AGO. But still.)

    I can do a trick with two beer bottles and a twenty dollar bill that my grandfather taught me. Needs practice but I can do it.
    • CommentAuthorE0157H7
    • CommentTimeMay 16th 2009
    I can talk my way out of things when I shouldn't be able to stand up. Thanks, public school.
  4.  (5873.13)
    I can navigate my way home in the dark by the stars, after countless nights of heavy drinking and ending up too broke for a cab or bus.
  5.  (5873.14)
    @mister hex -

    Rarely do I get hangovers. And I drink. A LOT

    I've always made it home, by guess or by God. Except for That Once.

    Yes! Those too.
  6.  (5873.15)
    When reality shifts - whether due to weirdness, illness or other causes - I can usually stay physically balanced and somewhat grounded. Thanks, psychedelics!
  7.  (5873.16)
    I got beat up quite a bit as a kid. Being a smart-ass and the fat kid? That'll get you beat.

    I can take a pretty stunning amount of injury and still be ok. I also tend to keep my head when things get confrontational or even violent. I don't instigate, just get very calm.
  8.  (5873.17)
    I have experimented with some personality-hacking in my time. For instance I had a bad habit of having breakdowns on public transport, so I sort of forcibly adjusted the importance-of-being-on-time value in my brain. It really cut down on the panic.
  9.  (5873.18)
    I used to be really impatient and found myself having a problem with focusing on any given task for more than about 10 minutes. Thanks to years of almost constant cannabis use in my youth, I can now spend hours focusing on things I am much better read, content, patient with people and tasks, and have a hatred of advertising.
  10.  (5873.19)
    I always had a very strong negative reaction to the sort of social networking that is supposed to be an all-important skill in the real world. Not that I'm shy or can't make decent conversation or have trouble making friends, it's just the idea of doing it for the sake of success always made my skin crawl. But, uh... because of procrastination and an aversion to bullshit schoolwork leading to me being perilously close to failing out of college nearly every semester I've been, I've developed a very strong ability to schmooze with professors and make fast friends with the people controlling my fate. This is really the only reason I'll finally be graduating, despite not really ever improving my work habits or attendance, which is kinda bullshit. But hey, I'm a whore for undeserved accomplishments, I'll take the diploma.

    The other thing that made this happen was that my girlfriend would cry because I hated her friends and made zero effort to encourage them liking me. They're a serious bunch of twats, so fuck 'em right? But "her crying = me feeling bad," which loses out to "socializing despite severe desire not to = them liking me = her not crying," clearly.

    So now I'm all about schmoozing. Still skeeves me out when I think about it, how good I am at being fake. Gross.
  11.  (5873.20)
    I think not wanting to look like a jerk while drunk, or even look drunk at all, has taught me greater discretion in what I say sober.

    @DocLivingston -- ah, yes, that one too, for the same reasons and hesitations

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