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    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2008 edited
    hahaha freakin' hilarious.

    I love dogs so much that I want to be a dog myself.

    EDIT: It even gets the pluralization correct. Wicked.

    EDIT EDIT: You asked for it: D-g. Oh yes.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2008
    Surrender the cats now and generous terms can be arranged.
    Enemy of Humans
    Field Marshall Sniffy
    Natural Enemy of Humans Command
  1.  (672.43)
    Tell you a heart-warming animal story.

    Neighbor of mine growing up had a german shepherd. About 95 pounds this thing was and the neighbor, a weedly little fucker, kept it in his yard. It would charge the gate of the yard every time anyone passed. 95 pounds of fur and teeth hitting a gate forty or fifty times a day. Do the math. That fucker was getting out.

    And it did, regularly. We had to hide from this animal. Hide in our houses while adults when looking for it. Got to the point that I'd start running when I heard the tinkling of a chain, as that's what they kept that thing on. My younger cousin had nightmares about it. Weedly fucker neighbor never did anything about this. He said that kids were provoking his precious beast and that he never had any problems with it.

    He let his daughter, a girl of about 11 or so, walk the animal on occasion. She walked it on a length of chain. She, being second generation stupid, brought it to the park where we were all playing. While trying to get away from her, it launched up and bit me. That was 20 years ago and I still have an ugly scar on my upper arm from where it caught me and clamped down down, hard. This thing shook me bodily and chewed into my flesh. My cousin, an all-state wrestler, kicked the dog repeatedly to get it off. I ran home soaked in blood. I ended up with 40 stitches.

    My uncle was a vietnam vet and more than a little crazy. When he saw what happened to me and what his son had to do to save me he decided to take care of things.

    A week later the animal was simply gone.

    Stolen right out of the yard, not a trace. My uncle's dead now and to the day he died he denied having anything to do with it. But I love him very much for getting rid of that fucker.

    I don't own the beasts and think ill of those who bring them into their homes. Good Night.
  2.  (672.44)
    I thought, for one glorious moment, that you'd all started agreeing with me...

    Don't worry, Warren. One day people will see and there'll be a dog holocaust. Dog after dog being sent to the camps. Yorkshires being used as soccer balls as they uselessly "yip-yip" for mercy. Pit bulls being axed in half. Boxers will be helplessly tied to a stake as humans drool all over them. Chihuahuas being stomped until their molecules fuse with the ground.

    One day, Warren, one day...
    • CommentAuthorhank
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2008
    Eh you have to treat the dog like a dog. It is like any animal. As soon as you start treating them like people they get fucked in the head.

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