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  1.  (6881.121)
    SQUEEZYCAT: live on SWEATSHOP [bit.ly/swtshp]

    SQUEEZYCAT
    • CommentAuthorTwist
    • CommentTimeJan 9th 2010
     (6881.122)
    *Laughs* I missed Squeezycat...

    And accidentally shut off the screen without saying bye to you all after the initial stint on batman. Thanks for the distracting hour or so and sorry about the pizza side-tracked I wandered off down. Hope the rest of it was fun :)
    • CommentAuthorfod_xp
    • CommentTimeJan 12th 2010
     (6881.123)
    First thing that popped into my mind about Squeezycat was "Holy shit, it's my cat!"

    Squeezycat is fluffy like my cat, and they both have that "vacant, glazed" look.
  2.  (6881.124)
    Squeezycat owns.
  3.  (6881.125)
    TODAY! [1/22] SWEATSHOP: Saturday Samantha Edition

    NO CAKE.  EVER.


    You should RSVP on Facebook here.

    THE CAUSE: Remember when we raised an obscene amount of money for pinup model Lorraine's medical bills? Well, it's the time again.

    THE ART: Sweathog Skinny Rydell's $45 Commission is far overdue. Since the lady herself is in Scotland, and we want her to be in the audience, Saturday will feature a special afternoon SWEATSHOP to allow for the time difference. There will be a break at 11:30pm for lunch.

    HOW DOG AM BALLOON?

    THE MODEL: Samantha Klapp is a filmmaker, clothing designer and fashionista from Seattle. She and I have been friends for nigh on seven years, and recently she underwent surgery to remove pre-cancerous aberrations in her very GUTS. Being a student and an American, the medical bills have nearly bankrupted her. As she refuses to accept charity like any sane person would (my generous offerings of blood-stained dolla billz), I've offered her some work as my model: Sam will be posing for one of my commissions, and you will be stuffing benjamins into her garter.

    Sam has featured in many of my best works over the years, including The Cardiographer (oil on wood, 2007) and The Ectomancer (digital, 2008). She is a sylph-like brunette with huge, dark eyes, elegant tattoos, and a carriage that is both pristine, and unassuming. Do not miss your chance to really study her.


    GO TO SWEATSHOP NOW.


  4.  (6881.126)
    Due to noob abuse, we have added a password to this episode of Sweatshop. The password is "batmans". No quotes.

    Saturday afternoon + half naked girl = fucking stupid pubbies, I guess. If you talk out of line today I will ban you so hard your nuts will invert.
    • CommentAuthorchris g
    • CommentTimeJan 23rd 2010
     (6881.127)
    yo, sista. how long is this going on til? I'll be tuning in around 8pm Pussific
    • CommentAuthorHenchbot
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2010
     (6881.128)
    im tired of missing these, gotta get on it.
  5.  (6881.129)


    IMPORTANT SWEATSHOP ANNOUNCEMENT.


    There's a SWEATSHOP in about eleven hours that is cutting out even more slack between patrons and the artists they feed. I mean, haven't you ever wanted to just dangle a gobbet of lemon chicken over an artist's snapping, slavering maw?



    Well, thanks to the brilliant minds behind SWEATSHOP, now you can!


    That's right. Sunday SWEATSHOP cuts out the middle man, and lets you, the faithful patrons of the arts, feed the artists directly.


    HOW IT WORKS: I'll have a SWEATSHOP account set up on Eat24Hours.com, a website that acts as a portal to every delivery restaurant with an online menu. You, the Sweaty Victims Unit, will be able to order food directly to the studio in order to sustain the artists during our long haul. Bay Area locals are welcome to drop sustenance off in person, and come in for a studio visit.


    But Eliza, you moan, isn't that DANGEROUS? Won't creepy skidstains from internets unknown start showing up at your door?? It's possible, sure! But ya see, I live on the edge. And by "the edge", I mean surrounded by large roommates and behind three locked doors. If I can survive in North Oakland for two years with no shrapnel to show for it, I think I can handle having my studio address accessible to people who want me to eat hot gooey pizza and draw pictures for them.


    (Also, if you stalk me, I will fucking shoot you. I used to bullseye Diet Coke cans with my dad back home, they're not much bigger than your grotesquely tiny head, you FUCK.)


    Join SWEATSHOP raconteur Eliza Gauger, surrealist horror painter Clayton Chenault, and filthy beat-dropping DJ Velveteen for 12 hours of completing old commissions, drawing new batmans, talking chatroom shit, and auctioning original art, all live on camera.


    Tune into SWEATSHOP Sunday (today) at 12pm PST, and watch Eliza's Twitter for details about auctions, ordering noodles, and so on and so forth.


    We're just going to spend the money on chow mein anyway, why not streamline the process?


    ? SWEATSHOP is here.
    ? Eliza's Twitter is here.


    [reblog the hell out of this, peeps]


    Join us.
    Nurse your insomnia.
    Work harder, for less money.
    SWEATSHOP. SWEATSHOP. SWEATSHOP.

  6.  (6881.130)
    YES. So glad this is back.
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeFeb 21st 2010
     (6881.131)
    (Also, if you stalk me, I will fucking shoot you. I used to bullseye Diet Coke cans with my dad back home, they're not much bigger than your grotesquely tiny head, you FUCK.)


    This... this wins. On so many levels.
  7.  (6881.132)

    Today's SWEATSHOP is all about cutting out the middleman between art patron and artists' food. The time has come to begin the feeding, and here is how it will have to be:


    STEP 1: PERUSE THE MENUS.
    Go to Eat24Hours.com and type in San Pablo Ave in the address field, and 94608 in the Zip field. No, this isn't my address, you creepazoids. Hit Search Now and you'll be presented with a list of restaurants.


    STEP 2: CHOOSE THE FORM OF MY DESTROYER
    Find a menu you like and put together a meal. Make a screenshot and send it to me at eliza.gauger at gmail, along with the total price via PayPal.


    STEP 3: SELF-CONGRATULATIONS
    The food will be ordered according to the screenshot, using a PayPal debit card, and the artists will devour it gamely.


    GOOD JOB! You just fed an artist, which is something they're incapable of doing themselves.

  8.  (6881.133)
    Ask the internet for pizza and pizza ye shall receive. Jesus christ.
  9.  (6881.134)
    Dare I ask how much food you got?
  10.  (6881.135)
    Let's just say I'm glad pizza was not being delivered automatically to my door. This way I can space out the foodening over the next several weeks.
  11.  (6881.136)
    Hahhahaha. I have this strange image of an amount of pizza equal to Warren's Redbull Mountain from Wizardworld Chicago a few years back. :)
    Glad you got a lot of pizza and it didn't come all at once.
  12.  (6881.137)

    BATMAN IKON, from last night's SWEATSHOP.


    Last night, the Internet bought me dinner.

    I asked to be fed through SWEATSHOP, and the sweaty victims unit gladly complied. We were given more pizza, curry, and chow mein than we could eat in a week. We even fed an unexpected guest, SWEATSHOP alumni Vol Hydrogen, who had dropped by to drop off one of her incredible, original vests.

    Days ago, when I dreamily described to Warren an idea I had involving my subsistence inside a "glass tank", taking my Artist As Dancing Bear hypothesis to its logical conclusion, he replied, "I question the wisdom of either encouraging people to feed you or to kill you." Astonishingly, it more than worked out. I thank every one of you little squids for that.

    What next? Well, the leftover pizza cash has several destinations. I'll tally it up and tip out DJ Velveteen and Clayton, respectively, and use the remainder for groceries.

    And what's next for SWEATSHOP? The eBay auction did not please me. While the extremely generous winner ended up tipping me on top of the sale price because the final bid was so low, eBay is definitely a buyer's market. The last-minute sniping of bids isn't good for an artist getting a fair price on an original piece, and for this reason I'll be starting auctions a lot higher next time, if I use eBay again. My plan is to host a live auction, via video streaming and chatroom, for the next original. I'll do this tomorrow or later this week, and announce it via Twitter.
  13.  (6881.138)
    DJ Velveteen on #SWEATSHOP, archived in its entirety: http://bit.ly/awjVMn

    This set was about eight hours long. We have it all. It's not awesome quality, but it's pretty good.
  14.  (6881.139)
    I anxiously await the arrival of realboyspeed internets so that I may soon partake.
  15.  (6881.140)
    SWEATSHOP.TV is now live.

    Today at 2pm I am live-auctioning a piece of framed art called Mr. Bloop. He is a wee octopus. Thank you.