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  1.  (6984.1)
    If the first thing that popped into your mind was not "jerk off", then you are a female.

    Anyway, What Would You Do With a Robotic Hand? is the ad/link that I came across about halfway down Warren's new Wired UK column, and I couldn't help but click to find out what exactly they would do with one.

    The text:
    Need to handle radioactive materials, or maybe defuse a bomb? This robot hand will operate where humans can't – controlled from a distance by moving your (real) hand in a special glove. It's as dexterous as a human hand with 24 distinct movements, operating using motors or via steampunk-style "air muscles" that can hold 5kg.

    The hand is the result of years of work by London-based Shadow Robot, a company launched in 1997 that creates mobile limbs. Rich Walker, Shadow's MD, invited wired inside its Islington workshop to see the latest models. The £140,000 hands are ideal for handling explosives, hazmat work or doing remote experiments, Walker explains. Indeed, both Nasa and the MoD have placed orders. "Though the MoD won't tell us explicitly what it's for," he says.

    The actual page has a photo, etc, but doesn't really get into the details, unfortunately.

    So besides handling explosives and using a weaker model to pleasure yourself, what would you guys be using a robo-hand for?
  2.  (6984.2)
    Also, I like how the refer to the muscles as "steampunk-style"...
    • CommentAuthorZJVavrek
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    Steampunk-style ... pneumatics?

    The picture makes it look like it might be black rubber tubing, perhaps something else. That is clearly cyberpunk-style pneumatics. Steampunk style would be brown, or possibly woven brass.
  3.  (6984.4)
    It doesn't look from that picture that it's a mobile hand. I am disappoint. Now, give me a remote-controlled fully-functional Thing from The Addams Family and we'll talk.
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    o god it has fingernails
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    I would crush my enemies' testicles. or ovaries, in the case of my female enemies.
    Next question.
  4.  (6984.7)
    punch holes in EVERYTHING. also: flip records, roll joints
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    Program the hands to build more hands. Raise an evil army of pneumatic hands.

    Or a good army maybe. But that's less exciting.
    • CommentAuthorFan
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    I was browsing the 'net for Remote surgery because I thought that would be a neat application.

    I wondered though, "Why a hand?" A hand is a general-purpose manipulator, whereas something more specialized might be better for any particular purpose. The good thing (the only good thing) about a hand is that the operator is accustomed to manipulating it. But telesurgery, apparently, is done with a joystick.

    Then I found Robot Successfully Completes Unassisted Heart Surgery where the surgeon was out of the loop altogether. I had no idea that they'd managed to make the machines so intelligent!
      CommentAuthorcity creed
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    I would, of course, locate the missing parts of the robot hand while evading my black unitard-wearing enemies from the future and safeguard the entire human race who'd been downloaded to a single copper coil in my chest.
    • CommentAuthorIllogic
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    Upgrade my hardware.
  5.  (6984.13)
    Convince all my friends that Thing from the Addam's Family was in residence. Also, scratch my back in the oh-so-hard to reach bit in the middle.

    Though Explorer is a hero for the Ellison reference.
  6.  (6984.14)
    The robotic hand shown in the link is not getting anywhere near my cock.

    If I had a robotic hand, I'd use it to build a better one and maybe a lot of other useful inventions.

    THEN I'd go around punching stuff.
  7.  (6984.15)
    I'd take Margaret Atwood's LongPen a few steps further.

    Use your imagination.
    • CommentAuthorMathias B
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    What WOULDN'T I do with a robotic hand?
  8.  (6984.17)
    Um, my first thought was "Crime."

    Not ME, of course.
    • CommentAuthorOxbrow
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    That was my first thought too.

    My second would be Guerilla Horror Movie.
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2009
    Too much margin for error when wanking with a robotic hand. When wanking I only trust myself. Or another human. Basically as long as it does not, even possibly, have hideous, ungodly strength nor can it explode, I'm ok with it.
  9.  (6984.20)
    Lemarchand's Configuration.

    What? Am I the only one to admit watching Hellraiser: Bloodlines?