Sick like something is in my stomach trying to crawl out and like someone has shoved wet cotton up my noses before punching me in the face.
Then on Wednesday I saw my child's heartbeat for the first time ever, and in that moment that I was going to be a father was really real, and the moment after that the doctor told us there was a problem, one that meant that there was probably not going to be a child. I don't think I've had my happiness turn to ash that fast ever.