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  1.  (7560.1)
    Apparently, Sarah Palin has signed on as a commentator with Fox News.

    I imagine it would go something like this...

    Day 1: Take job. Tell people how awesome FOX News is.

    Day 2: Anecdote about hunting bear. Talk up husband. More bear. Husband "likes beartrapping". Talk about new glasses-- they're fancy, after all.

    Day 3: Tell people how the how being a commentator is like being a point guard.

    Day 4: "Jokingly" tell people that Rupert Murdoch hasn't reimbursed you for your new wardrobe, with a wink.

    Day 5: Call in, but tell them that they can come to you for commentary while you're out fishing with the family.

    (Week 2)

    Day 6: "Am I allowed to say that Oprah was mean to me yet...?"

    Day 7: Take stance to alienate even more of the mainstream Republican Party.

    Day 8: Imply that there was an offer to move you so that you could be on The Real Housewives of Orange County, but that you turned it down.

    Day 9: Find out that Bravo is affiliated with NBC, disavow personal implication from the day before.

    Day 10: "Jokingly" tell Bill O that he's to refer to you as Governor Palin. Sans wink.

    (Week 3)

    Day 11: Harry Potter books are a demon possessing the nation.

    Day 12: "Why won't he defer to me as Governor?!?" email to Rupert leaks.

    Day 13: Call in, something about contractual obligations to book tour. Fox News employees are frisked and asked to be patient while standing in line... for book signing in cafeteria.

    Day 14: Claim "Governor's Pick" rule applies to the fresh donuts. Bill O demands to know who took his f**king donut. He demands it live.

    Day 15: "Alaska is bigger than Canadia. You know, have I ever told you about the Great Moose Hunt of 2008...?"

    Disclaimer: No, I'm not "anti-Republican", per se (I don't blindly ascribe to any given political party)-- I just don't care for Sarah Palin. At all. I also know the difference between a democracy and a theocracy-- we in the United States live in the former, not in the latter.

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