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Culturegasm: Half-Ton Lead Coffin Unearthed in Rome

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  1.  (7969.1)
    The box would be smaller
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     (7969.2)
    I second Ultimate Namor.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     (7969.3)
    A shoggoth.

    Hey, I can dream, right?
  4.  (7969.4)
    Does anyone have a link to the article? All I could find was THIS story about a LEAD BURRITO BURIAL.
  5.  (7969.5)
    @mthemordant - The very first word of the post is linked. I should probably extend it.

    EDIT: There, done.
  6.  (7969.6)
    From the Burrito Article Mordant posted:
    , x-ray and CT scans—the preferred methods of coffin analysis—cannot penetrate the thick lead, leaving researchers pondering other, potentially dangerous ways to examine the remains inside. Since there is apparently a hold in the bottom of the coffin through witch a foot bone can be examined, I'm guessing they'll end up snaking a scope up into the coffin.

    edit: N/M. AT the bottom of the article it says that's what they plan on doing next.
    • CommentAuthorScrymgeour
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     (7969.7)
    i know someone who got the plague by opening a lead coffin.
    I want to make it my mission in life to open all lead coffins to achieve the same thing. Imagine the possibilities for picking up girls and impressing drunk people
  8.  (7969.8)
    @ RenThing
    I'll see your Shoggoth (which would be awesome) and raise you...
    THE SPAWN OF CTHULHU!!!
    He's coming out with his mouth tentacles waving, drooling for our souls, spreading death with just a glance of his insane yellow eyes...
    The pope will address the world saying: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
    ... then he'll finish with...
    Long Live the God Damn Bat Man
  9.  (7969.9)
    Hoffa.
  10.  (7969.10)
    An all powerful immortal alien that was worshipped as a god by the local populace and ruled an ancient kingdom for hundreds of year before being taken down while he was at his weakest and trapped inside the metal coffin. But. 'im just guessing. No real proof.

    We are all gonna be disapointed when all they'll find is a mummified body possibly of the royalty variety.
    • CommentAuthorDario
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     (7969.11)
    It contains lots of smaller lead boxes, gradually leading up to a solitary IOU note.
    • CommentAuthorVerissimus
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010 edited
     (7969.12)
    Maybe it's that guy from that fictional reality from Planetary #9.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJJH
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     (7969.13)
    It's a fart.

    A thousands of years old fart, and it's been trapped in there, all this time... stewing... It's the culmination of the greatest practical joke in the history of the world!
    •  
      CommentAuthorDani
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     (7969.14)
    I'm seconding Hoffa...
  15.  (7969.15)
    BOODOFFSTAGE - Royal types generally prefer the shinier metals. Surely lead coffins are meant for sinister and hard to kill grand vizier types, perhaps an ancient Rasputin?
  16.  (7969.16)
    Surely lead coffins are meant for sinister and hard to kill grand vizier types

    I didn't know there was a protocol for this kind of thing.

    Still.....I am a dead cat.
  17.  (7969.17)
    They say lead coffins were usually used for adolescents or females of the somewhat important variety. So maybe it's a SHE in there? And lead was worth more back then.

    ...I'm still betting it's a zombie. Waiting to be freed, to release the zombie apocalypse upon us.
    •  
      CommentAuthorbjacques
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2010
     (7969.18)
    An Etruscan noble catwoman. A thirsty one.
    •  
      CommentAuthorcosta_k
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2010
     (7969.19)
    It's actually an ancient automaton in it's transformed non-humanoid dormancy mode. Watch, they're gonna wake it up and it's gonna turn into this;

    megatron
  20.  (7969.20)
    feh they keep on describing it as a burrito. maybe it just IS agiant metal burrito. With a foot in it. :D
    "Yeh we dont know how that foot got into your lunch, mr.monster, we're sorry..."

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