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Culturegasm: Half-Ton Lead Coffin Unearthed in Rome

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  1.  (7969.1)
    This happened last summer, and the thing is still to be cracked open for fears of damaging its contents. It will be subjected to endoscopy and, if necessary, MRI scans in order to divine it's contents.

    A thousand pounds of metal is an enormous amount of wealth in this era. To waste so much of it in a burial is pretty unusual.


    There isn't really any precedent for this. The Romans apparently used coffins very rarely and when they did, they were wooden. This anomaly is compounded in strangeness by the sheer bloody size of the thing. An inch thick and 1000 pounds in weight.

    So what's in the box? I'm almost hoping for some insane conjecture about the Romans using trial and error to surmise that lead blocks sickness-causing radiation, so they choose that as the material that they'll entomb their mysterious time-travelling astronaut in.
  2.  (7969.2)
    Add one more thing to the list of stuff that I'd love to see thorough scans of (another being the chamber they've discovered under one of the Sphinx's feet).
    •  
      CommentAuthorScribe
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.3)
    Screw all the scans and stuff, I have a crowbar and willing to travel.
  4.  (7969.4)
    Oh man, this thing is going to punch its way out of its slumber hungry for blood.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFinagle
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.5)
    There are some things best left buried.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDraug
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.6)
    Wasn't Osiris tricked into a sealed in a lead coffin?
  7.  (7969.7)
    There are some things best left buried.

    Dammit, this is a Tales From the Crypt waiting to happen.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.8)
    When I was a kid, a movie theatre in the next town had a $1.00 Saturday afternoon horror movie double feature. One of them was a Hammer Films (I think) movie in which the hero accepts delivery of a skeleton from New Guinea. It had been buried way, way deep and was an object of great fear to the natives.

    Turns out that the skeleton regenerated its flesh when it got wet.

    This scared the hell out of me. And it makes me hope they open that coffin in a nice dry area.
    •  
      CommentAuthorrickiep00h
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.9)
    The obvious answer is that there is a cat in there. Now: is it alive, or is it dead.

    My only other theory is that Romans actually invented some kind of nuclear power, and we're all going to be right fucked once it cracks open.
  10.  (7969.10)
    I'm guessing David Blane, Lazarus or a dead Grey.
  11.  (7969.11)
    My god, it's going to be full of fucking stars.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.12)
    JFK. A million space bucks on JFK.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroddbill
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.13)
    My favorite line from the article:

    "It's hard but satisfying work. How many people can say they uncovered an ancient burial?"


    The answer, of course, is a finite number (x) that diminishes by one (-1) each night (n) following the opening of the box...
    •  
      CommentAuthorchris g
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010
     (7969.14)
    the bones of teh Bat-man
    • CommentAuthorrough night
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2010 edited
     (7969.15)
    My complete lack of money is on the aforementioned radioactive time travel equipment/astronaut. Who else is making bets?
    • CommentAuthorDario
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010 edited
     (7969.16)
    Crap ancient game show prop, in vein of:

    nodeal
  17.  (7969.17)
    Interesting find... Now I cant wait to read what's inside that coffin! free online games pokies
  18.  (7969.18)
    Zombie Jesus.
    •  
      CommentAuthortexture
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     (7969.19)
    Ultimate Namor.
  20.  (7969.20)
    So what's in the box?


    The Vatican's morality.

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