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    • CommentAuthorInexperto
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2008 edited
     (873.1)
    I've been itching to post an entry here for a while, but I've been struggling for inspiration. Until a special email landed in my office inbox today:
    Subject: Invitation to attend Explosives Awareness Course

    Oh yes.
    In the current climate of global terrorism there is a need for UK-based management-level personnel to be offered exposure to explosives, weapons, bombs and their blast effect and to take part in a live range day.

    Funnily enough, I can already think of some management-level personnel who could do with being exposed to bombs and their blast effects. Mind you, "live range day" does sound pretty awesome. Pray continue, senór Unsolicited Email...
    The outcome of attendance on the course will enable delegates to be better informed about explosives and their effects, together with an enhanced understanding of terrorist use of improvised explosive devices.

    That's all very well, but you're not really telling me anything that I can't already find in The Anarchist Cookbook...
    Delegates will be better placed to make sound judgment in future management roles or where such experience will aid a decision-making process.

    The ability to recognise improvised explosive devices will help my CEO make better decisions? Riiight. You know, if I hadn't already read about the Koreans faking their own deaths to boost productivity, this would be the strangest management retreat I've ever heard of.

    Stuff it. I know I'm just a glorified receptionist, but I've spent the past half hour lobbying the office bigwigs to try and get me a place on this thing, if only because it might bring me one step closer to fulfilling my dream of being Keanu Reeves in Speed. (Or to a lesser extent, Jeff Bridges in Blown Away)

    The security consultants' website can be found here.
  1.  (873.2)
    I'm rather jealous of your office mail. That's just hilarious, and curious enough to make my day.
    •  
      CommentAuthorWaxPoetic
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2008
     (873.3)
    I second Roo's jealousy.

    Also I applaud all attempts to go to this thing! let it be known that you are trained in management decision-explosion!
    • CommentAuthorInexperto
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2008
     (873.4)
    I’m still trying to get my company to book me onto the Explosives Awareness Course – and I’m never going to get tired of typing that - but they’re still not biting. Clearly they have no concerns about the safety of their employees "in the current climate of global terrorism”.

    The bastards.