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      CommentAuthorCameron C.
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010 edited
     (8819.1)
    This is where I live now, as of a few hours ago:
    Random Photos 256

    The other night I made 85 bucks working on this neighbors computer. This was nice.

    This morning me and this girl i met out in the desert had breakfast. She hung around while my family and other people helped load my life into my car and a pickup truck.

    While packing and stuff she grabbed my digital camera and took a surprise picture of us. Here is me looking awkward.

    (edit: do you see my awesome whitechapel messenger bag?!)

    Now I live in Burbank, CA with my father and little brother. Again.
    During the move my metal Grendel thingy got scratched up and that sucks. Also, my desktop computer wont start.


    Hmmm.

    I miss her very much.
    • CommentAuthorErisah
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.2)
    Well I had a hell of a week. Got fired from my job at the "telefundraising no-we-aren't-selling-anything-this-is-just-a-private-business-employed-by-charities" place because I wasn't hitting target, just in time to have time to get assessments in for all of my subjects. Corpuses, research proposals and stats quiz oh my!

    So that was fun. My spare time (on the bus and when I'm not doing what I should be doing) I'm working on developing a bad, cliched romance novel, in the hopes that the subsequent mental backlash will give me the energy to edit up my monstrosity about a bisexual, mouthy, nymphomaniac vampire slayer.

    After a week of this, friday night I decide I am in need of a drink, so I buy a cheap cleanskin and drink in front of the computer screen. Because I'm classy that way. I go to sleep, and spend the next four hours or so waking up from increasingly bizarre dreams, culminating in an Obama look-alike getting backed into a corner by some kind of debt-collector dressed in grey. Obamalike tells greyassassin to leave him his dignity, then proceeds to jump out the window of the many-storied building, but greyassassin somehow manages to stick his knife out and gut him so that his blood spray frames the window.

    That was at 4am, at which time I decided fuck sleeping if my subconcious was going to keep pulling that shit, so I spent the next few hours before the sun rose reading fanfiction. Always a good start to the day.
  1.  (8819.3)
    MY WEEK: My week was full of late shifts at work, and therefore shit. However, here was my evening's entertainment:



    Banana flavoured beer is pretty delicious. I think I'm going to have some more of my Dalwhinnie before I go to bed, because that is what Internet Jesus would do. Then tomorrow I'll turn up at work in a pair of piss-stained boxers and scream at everyone there and blame them all for my stinking headache.

    Filthy, strange and wonderful: One of the sub-editors at work recently found out I was into comics/writing and has asked me to write short strips for the new magazine he'll be publishing and leaving around pubs for the punters to leaf through. I'll be sure to let you know if/when that project reaches fruition. It'll be good to be published at least, even though I'm doing it for absolutely no money. I'm happy just having fun for now, and if someone eventually comes along and wants to pay me for my retarded brain-scribblings then that's just fine.

    Tell me exactly why I am, indeed, your very own Personal Messiah and/or Patagonian Love Monkey: You're angry, you love booze and you scream at people over the internet better than anyone else. Also your comics are pretty good, I guess.
    •  
      CommentAuthorstsparky
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.4)
    Been putzing around on my iPad - trying to see if I could do the Weird Tales cover on it. Am in Japan at my mother-in-law's with my family. Took my daughter to one of two Amusement parks this trip.

    Aren't we your personal love-monkeys?
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      CommentAuthorjoshbales
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.5)
    @newspaperdrone That banana bread beer was one of the ones I was hoping to try today at AleFest (a beer festival), but by the time I got there, they were all out. Which made me a very sad panda. Glad to hear it is delicious, though. I'll have to pick up a pack of it sometime.
  2.  (8819.6)
    @JECole:
    It's a strange thing thinking of myself as a writer and actually doing the work. I feel like at any moment, someone going to tap my on the shoulder and call me out as being a fraud.
    Is it that normal?


    Dear God, yes.
    My first published comic book story was a Batman tale, around five years ago. And every day until it hit stores I expected someone to call or e-mail and say, "We were just kidding, you really suck, it's all just a joke."

    Every single writer I know has self-confidence issues. It's why we write -- we get validation through other people experiencing our work.

    Now... that'll be $150 for the psychoanalysis, please.
  3.  (8819.7)
    @joshbales, you won't regret it. My girlfriend said "I can't taste banana, where's the banana?" but I yelled at her until she agreed with me. I swear one day I'll get her to understand beer and whiskey.
  4.  (8819.8)
    @ joshbales @ newspaperdrone

    That banana beer is fucking beautiful. Should be called a beaur (beautiful beer).

    Although I'm not off my tits on spacey confectionery, I am the next best thing, pumped full of sugar, caffiene and lacking in sleep, also pumped full of adrenaline since I have around 23 hours to get this first full draft of my thesis in, and I still have around 18k words to write. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OhgodI'mgoingtodie. On the other hand I have missed this strange kind of high.

    This week has been spent looking at my laptop in disdain, knowing that on it's hardrive is impending work, and I've been finding anything else to do other than typing words. I feel very much like I'm cheating doing this...

    Strange wonderful and filthy are, unfortunately, not a part of my life at the moment. Strange and filthy may be covered by the fact that I couldn't sleep due to aforementioned state and also due to that state I am in the suit of my birth from overheatedness. Luverly.

    Don't let anyone convince you that doing a Masters is fun. It's not. It's boring. It's too long. And "taught" means "you do boring irrelevant shit for two semesters then get told you're on your own from here on out." Something wonderful is that on Tuesday, even if the apocalypse/singularity/zombie nuke death occurs, I am going to watch Scott Pilgrim. Thank fuck for free time.
  5.  (8819.9)
    I've been thinking about things. Too much being in my head, without any output to pour it all into.

    I've discovered that Orson Wells directed an all black Macbeth in Harlem. In 1936.

    He was 20 years old.

    I'm in my thirties. I started reading at 3 years old, should have been put ahead four grades, and was on stage every year of the decade preceding my pre-highschool life, always with a lead. I was far ahead pretty early on. But then... I guess everyone got new families and I ended up being an annoyance, something that kept both sides from being able to actualize their new golden life, something that reminded them of a past they'd rather forget. Unless I was being something to fight over.

    All this would be far easier to deal with, if I weren't stuck dealing with family. With nobody wanting to admit how abandoned I was. All this would be easier if I didn't have a constant example of how my half siblings are supported, encouraged, helped, in ways that I was boldly denied. All this would be easier if my sister didn't have over 200 pairs of shoes, while I failed highschool gym because I only owned two pairs, one of which were duct-taped together and two sizes too big. All this would be easier if I didn't watch my mother now cook free range chicken for her dogs, while I'd marvel at the food in my friend's cupboards, and the meals they'd eat at home.

    Feeling utterly discarded by family is difficult and psychologically damaging.

    When you add to that a chronic undefined worsening illness, and living in the US where school and medical costs are insane and social welfare is abysmal....

    Well, you're left in a situation where you are depending on and engaging with people who only help you in the most minimal of ways, and put forth the least amount of effort possible - just enough to keep themselves from being looked at poorly in other people's eyes (how angry my father was when he found out my cousin's husband had kindly filled my 23 cavaties for free, since I'd not been brought to a dentist since I was 9). Smiling politely at the distant relatives who think you're just a fuck up, because they don't know of the inequities. You are left in a situation where you are constantly kept inches from impact, but always in freefall.

    You are constantly being confronted with the potential that was left to rot. There used to be so much potential.

    If I'd had at least an exciting and dramatic but terrible life, I'd be able to think it was worth it. Experience. Stories. But for a decade now, I've just been sick, and trying to pull myself together, hoping to get fixed, watching the world pass me by through a dingy window. Hoping that SOON I'd be free to START my life again.

    Every week I tell myself I'll be brief here. Say something good and amusing. That I don't want to be so rambling and bleeding all over the place. That it's always the same old shit.

    But I'm smothering, and I don't have anybody.

    Sorry, and thank you.

    Model Shot
  6.  (8819.10)
    Tire and hurt all over. Spent a good part of yesterday morning unloading a truck filled mostly with wardrobe boxes which weigh a ton. Wrapped up working on the TNT series Memphis Beat on Tuesday and on Wednesday went to work on the adaptation of the Kerouac book On the Road for the New Orleans portion. Basically a huge step down to Office PA/Runner/Office Bitch, but it is paying a 100 dollar's more a week and getting me through the month of September - I can make it four weeks.

    Writing has actually been going well up until this weekend. Drinking some Abita SOS right now (drank most of a bottle of red wine earlier) and thinking of doing just some crazy drunk writing in a bit. Or I may just go to bed for some much needed rest. Doing some writing in the notebook as I get this out there.

    I miss these. Like Confession but without the guilt and judgement.

    Been reading a bunch of different things lately and fear it is only going ot get worse between re-reading Do Anything and the backmatter in Casanova combined with the used book section at my comic book shop BSIComics. In the last couple of weeks I have read American Flagg! and Tekkon Kinkreet and now have Luther Arkwright to read.

    Got a Blackberry this week (God bless free upgrades in phones from ATT). So I can take photos now. Me tonight staring at the screen. Sorry for the ugliness and scary image.

    • CommentAuthorJECole
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010 edited
     (8819.11)
    @ All
    Well that takes a weight off my mind. Thanks all.
  7.  (8819.12)
    Been working at a convention all weekend. So ridiculously tired that I fell down some stairs in front of some really socially akward asshats and instead of helping me up they laughed and reminded me there was an elevator a few yards away. Yes I know that, I didn't intend to fall. Jerks. So now my ankle is fucked, again.

    Anyhow.

    You are by far the most approachable Personal Savior I've come across. In the name of the Filthy, the Strange and the Wonderful, Amen.
    • CommentAuthorFishelle
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.13)
    @Rachæl
    If I could send you some of my happiness and take some of your misery, I would. I suppose you'll have to settle for a virtual hug. Give yourself one and pretend it's me, because I mean it.
    I just want to say, it's not that there used to be potential, there still is. I've truly been admiring your photography you've posted here the whole time I've been on Whitechapel. That's something I cannot do. You still have talent and you still have potential. 30's is still young. No matter how sick you are, you still have the potential to make your life anything you want it to be from here on out. It's hard when you can't lean on family, but you have friends, at least here, that you can lean on, at least on Saturdays, right?
    • CommentAuthorJECole
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010 edited
     (8819.14)
    @Rachæl
    Mate, it's never too late to reboot your life. Or to become the person you want to become. All you have to do is make the necessary sacrifices.
    I know it seems frightening but the alternative is far far worse. I'm talking from experience here.

    And don't compare yourself to Wells. Those were different times. Orson Wells was a man who peaked early and spent the rest of his life struggling to make films.
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      CommentAuthorBrigman
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.15)
    Spent Friday at a woodworking show telling hundreds of people over the course of nine hours about a shiny, new tool resulting in the distinct feeling I was one.

    This evening, I was allowing my 1.75 year old some time to “air out” from a diaper change, and he proceeded to shit on one of the dining room chairs. Classic.

    But this really has me steamed:

    I follow Rainn Wilson on twitter, right. If you don’t know, he’s an actor here in the States most known for his role on the American version of The Office. Late afternoon on Wednesday he tweeted, “I don't know how this got leaked. From a court case. Weird. (Link withheld)” I click it, right. It’s a young woman, quite good looking; orchestrating a prank against her roommate for telling everyone on Facebook she has herpes. This girl, who makes my pants a bit tighter, has this dude jump out, home invasion style, upon the other’s entry. Predictably, the victim screams and flees the dwelling. The perpetrator (did I mention I want to fuck her?) and her accomplice follow, laughing. They get outside just in time to see the panicked roommate get plowed by an oncoming car. The hysterical prankster keeps the camera rolling as they reach the roommate, blood spilling on the asphalt, eyes as vacant as the blogosphere.

    What the fuck!? Really!? What a cockdouche.
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      CommentAuthorstsparky
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.16)
    @Rachel
    go to the library and look at Tolstoy's Bicycle -
    It quite simply demonstrates that there's no such thing as an age limit (it's named for the fact that Tolstoy decided to learn to ride a bike when he was 67).

    Fuck Orson Welles. We'll dance on his grave when we're 150.
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      CommentAuthorteasmaid
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.17)
    I can only contribute to the filthy; I spent my Saturday night being woken by vomit at hourly intervals. Unfortunately it wasn't MY vomit. Parenthood is overrated.
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      CommentAuthorallana
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.18)
    at the moment i'm avoiding making coleslaw for 60.

    this is my third session of avoidance so far this evening. the first was to watch several episodes of Big Bang Theory; the second, to go to the hospital and play cribbage with my mother, whom we've today learned suffered a mild heart attack on thursday night. i really wish i had taken this weekend off work: being her and me at the same time is exhausting. i can see why her heart needed to take it back a notch.

    my feet hurt and i'm cranky and someone is actually listening to Stealer's Wheel and singing along on the street. i really wish i was moving to my new place right now.

    also i had some heavy-duty soldering planned for this weekend. you know just when you realize you have too much free time and start to formulate wild and enjoyable plans to fill it, something like this happens and suddenly the free-wheeling, always-there, super-caring spirit you've worked hard to cultivate just evaporates?

    i want ice cream.
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      CommentAuthorallana
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.19)
    oh, but on the upside i got the Level Nine Axe and Whip Orbs in Secret of Mana. but for some reason my weapon exp isn't accumulating past 8:0, after forging.
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      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2010
     (8819.20)
    I got a nice message from an acquaintance--a friend of a friend who just joined our Thursday night D&D group--messaged me yesterday to compliment my shit up on Weaponizer, which was nice.