Your moment of mad science for the day? GENE GUNS.
From the Wikipedias: "A gene gun or a biolistic particle delivery system, originally designed for plant transformation, is a device for injecting cells with genetic information. The payload is an elemental particle of a heavy metal coated with plasmid DNA. This technique is often simply referred to as bioballistics or biolistics."
Let me repeat that, in all capital letters. BIOBALLISTICS.
Also from the article:
"The earliest custom manufactured geneguns (fabricated by Nelson Allen) used a 22 caliber nail gun cartridge to propel an extruded polyethylene cylinder (bullet) down a 22 cal. Douglas barrel. A droplet of the tungsten powder and genetic material was placed on the bullet and shot down the barrel at a lexan "stopping" disk with a petri dish below. The bullet welded to the disk and the genetic information blasted into the sample in the dish with a doughnut effect (devastation in the middle, a ring of good transformation and little around the edge)."
Your word of the day is "transfect." Your concept of the day is FIRING A GUN AT SOMETHING TO CHANGE ITS DNA.
(Appropriately enough, I first heard about gene guns from a drunken lady research scientist who dresses like this. It was her birthday, and I was buying her drinks and we were geeking about about SCIENCE. I was telling her about horizontal gene transfer from bloodfeeding parasites to their vertebrate hosts, and she told me about gene guns.)
The military applications of this tech scare me. I vaguely remember a sci-fi story(maybe it was a saturday morning kids show?) where gene weapons were used to mentally retard the enemy and I think their offspring too. Freaked me out for a long time.
It looks like it's from the 50s because the tech is like 25 years old. Modern ones are a little sexier.
Just to dispel some myths:
-The current tech has no military applications. This is for firing single plasmids into single cells. They express some protein for a few days, and that's that. It's not going to kill anybody or make them turn on their buddies. It also needs like a hundred billion attachments to work right, so the resemblance to a gun is...spiritual, at best.
-It barely has scientific applications...it's useful mostly for plant biologists as I understand it. Pesky cell walls make traditional transfection a pain. I think some insect cell culture uses it too.
Anyway, it's still pretty badass. But it's been around for awhile and you don't need to run for the hills just yet.
BUT YOU DO WHEN I INVENT GENE ARTILLERY
There was something really hackey and intense about the early ones, because basically you've got a .22 rifle with some suppressive attachments and it's delivering DNA coated glass beads, with all kinds of tubes and bells and whistles. I envision Theodore Roosevelt on the back of a mutant zebrhinoceroncephalopod carrying one every time I picture it.
Haven't figured out where to put the rhino bit; needs enourmous hornage, or possibly noseage. What would a cephalopod snout look like? Anyway, need sleep. Will have to wait.
I hope this eventually leads to gene gun parties, where it's sort of like paintball but instead of ending up covered in red and blue, everyone ends up with a fun new defect.