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  1.  (9182.41)
    I just came home from the Toronto meet-up. It was successful in that I met four other Whitechapel regulars and got very drunk and talked art nerd shite for five hours. Must go and fall down now.
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2010
    Pike off, I'm working...

    Wait. No. I need a break from said working. Might as well hit the mike for a moment!

    It's the weekend before Steamcon, my wife and kids are unconscious already, my girlfriend/lover* and I have finally gotten over the HUGE number of issues we've been having in the last few months, and right now, I'd really rather just be vegetating in front of the TV. Possibly playing video games.

    Instead, I'm busy trimming paper off stickers, building extra-spikey gauntlets, finishing off utility belts, and getting more displays ready for a con next week. Welcome to my life.

    Filthy thing: I lost my virginity in a coffeeshop restroom.

    Strange thing: My eyebrows now seem to have gained a twisted mutant life of their own- spreading and curling upwards like something out of Lynch's production of Dune.

    Wonderful thing: I'm 33, and rather happily surprised to discover that I'm not dead yet.

    I do indeed make art. Tons of stuff. I do masks. And gasmask art. And leatherwork. And digital art stuff as well- which have regularly been posted up around here, but hells, have a couple bits- click any for bigger versions or ordering pages, or whatever:


    *Yes poly relationship, no there's no big scandalous affair or anything. I figured if I can't come out and admit that kind of stuff on Whitechapel, then where can I?
    • CommentAuthormrmcdaniel
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2010
    @antistigma while my situation is not as dire, i know the feeling of frustration and anxiety you are experiencing. I often feel like any minute the thread I'm dangling by could break and my life spin out of control. But, HANG in there bro! Usually the truly good things come when things seem the most hopeless.
    • CommentAuthormrmcdaniel
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2010 edited
    What I want...

    To be able to make a living from my art and leave the world of custodial work far behind me. Also have a strong desire to move to Eastern Europe (Preferably Russia).

    What I hate...

    At the moment, large gatherings of people... b/c it means I'm going to have a large mess to clean up!
    Something filthy
    While cleaning the women's restrooms at work I regularly find soiled women's panties in the sanitary napkin receptacles.
    Something strange

    the noises my dog is making right now as he sleeps at the foot of my bed. It's like he's having a doggie-seizure or something
    something wonderful
    the sound of my wife's breathing beside me.

    I make a web-comic. I've stalled with production a bit lately, b/c i've been so busy with "life" (excuses excuses!) however, things will pick up again shortly, I PROMISE!
  2.  (9182.45)
    a thing for venting: An older friend of mine passed away earlier in the week due to complications when he went in for surgery to remove a bit of cancer. He's the 4th person that I've known that has died of cancer this year. I'm getting rather tired of it.

    Tell me what you want, tell me what you hate: No, I don't want to.

    Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful: There once was a girl that was quite infatuated with me, I was quite intrigued. We met once, only once, and I did my typical thing of being spiteful to mySelf just because I thought it would be funny to see what happened. It wasn't, and I still regret it every once in awhile. Especially when I hear a specific song. I'll let you imagine what it is because if I told you that would ruin it for you. It's probably completely unremarkable to anyone else but it will always remind me of what I did. I'm honestly not sure if I'll ever forgive mySelf for it and that worries me.

    Tell me what art you make: When I was younger I use to draw. I stopped because I tended to copy what someone else had done before and I became tired of people telling me I should do it for a living. I haven't sketched anything for a few years now. I started writing short stories a few years ago and put them up on the 'web. I made sure that they weren't like something I had read before, at least, as original as can be expected from anything. Some people really liked them and a few of them started telling me that I should try to get them published. Again, but for a different reason all together, I stopped writing.
    Now to use my imagination I design kitchens. I don't think it's nearly as creative as my mind needs to be but I'm not sure what I want to do instead (or as well) right now.

    And here's a picture of me from a few years ago. (I don't have my picture taken often so you all have to deal with wedding pictures.)
    Dance, Monkeys, Dance!
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2010
    I want to sleep. But I think I need to go drunk-sit the friend who just broke up with her boyfriend of a few years. Or failing that, get drunk with her and bear the brunt of whatever ranting may occur.
    Filthy and strange definitely covers the boyfriend, who has been a couch hopper for some years now, who I have seen do disturbingly convincing Halloween drag, and who I also consider a friend, if a bit of a bastard. He's a likable sort of bastard, most times.
    My art tends to be doodles, and aspires to be comics, but I am weak and focusless and have little to no drive. That bit I rather hate. Anyhow. Here is art that I made today, watching my cousin play high school 6-Man football, in a town so small the aging bleachers stood across from a field of goats guarded by a giant Pyrenese dog.
    Sadly no dog sketches.
    Any 'art' made from this point on tonight will be apple tarts to perhaps put something in a drunk stomach. Those are kinda fun to make, though.
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2010 edited
    Well, just got back from a day full of successful gaming and meeting up with fellow whitechaplers. Had a really fun time.

    What I want: I think the big thing I want is a job that pays well on a regular basis. I enjoy being freelance, but I enjoy it even more when I have regular pay...
    What I hate: Jeez, long list there. But to be honest one of my consistent hates has been...myself. Whether it's been on my weight, general appearance, artistic ability or just general fucking personality, I've always seen myself as a failure and never deserving of anything good I get. This is something I have to work on/get over and I've already started. Meeting some people with good damn advice helped that. But still...have a long way to go before I start appreciating myself.

    My art: I'm a photographer. You can find my work here:

    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2010 edited
    Tell me what you want, tell me what you hate: I really want to be in control of my own damn mind for once. I am consistently indecisive about just about everything. I second-guess everything I do, letting the voice in my head drag myself down a long road of "but what if". And I am terribly confused about thoughts I'm having over a certain subject I don't know if I'm comfortable getting into here. I've been thinking about therapy, if only to have someone to help get my thoughts organized, and to keep me from staring too long down the paths of life that I'm not taking. Or at least the wrong paths I'm not taking.

    Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful: I went to a live wrestling show last night. That's pretty filthy. But fun! TNA did the last wrestling show to ever be held at the Nashville Fairgrounds, as the city is closing the place down. ...Is it bad that I'm getting a defense ready for my liking of wrestling? I figure, there's different kinds of fans for everything. For every stereotypical redneck who believes these guys are really trying to kill each other, there's someone who respects the fact that these guys put their health in danger for what is essentially performance art. Not to be kind of arrogant about it, of course.

    Tell me what art you make: Heh. I wish I had a real answer for that. I've been kind of taken w/ the idea of making my hobby of drawing cards for people into a craft, but I don't have the confidence for it. I just doodle. I come up w/ funny ideas on occasion, but I don't have the talent to really translate them sometimes. God, I would love to make music videos, too, but I suffer the same problems. I have incredibly vivid ideas, but no way to make them exist.

    No photo. It's far too late to bother w/ trying to get a picture of myself I like. And I even got my awesome new shirt on, too... damn.

    ETA: Almost forgot. @dorkmuffin- I'm so sorry. It's getting close to two years since my grandmother passed away, and I wish I could tell you that it gets 100% better. But I still miss her. I guess it's kind of a good thing, though; it shows how much she meant to me. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here, but /hug regardless.
  3.  (9182.49)
    It's 7:30am. I've been up for two hours after falling asleep early after a knackering week. Spent most of the two hours trying to pick my favourite 10 Direct Hit! songs. They're a band that have released five online EPs and are collecting the ten best songs into a proper real album next year. So they raised money by making 100 of these awesome triple-cassette anthologies and selling them and the people who bought one can vote for what makes the album. It's an awesome idea, but fucking tough as they don't have a bad song.

    Tough week workwise, my boss keeps telling me off for petty shit like coming in 2-3 minutes late a couple of times a week. He's just the deputy manager but the store manager is off for a few weeks with pneumonia and he's trying to assert his position. There's no way I'll get fired though as the store manager knows I'm the only one who's competent and manages to be a supervisor without pissing all the till staff off. I also got reprimanded for correcting the grammar and spelling in inter-store e-mails and on promotional signs and for writing "THIS IS FUCKING SHIT." on a flier that put on the wall of the staffroom saying that people who have worked at the shop for six months get a bonus, but they're taking that six months from 11 months ago so I get fuck all though I've been there over a year. I told him I was simply representing the democratic values the store claims to embody in its literature. He really doesn't like me. I have to amuse myself some way, writing the word 'HATE' all over said literature repeatedly got boring after a couple of hours and it's never quite quiet enough to get some decent reading done. I hate that place so much. The tedium, the casual racism and homophobia, the mismanagement, the constant hypocrisy. I'm done in January at the latest. It's been far too long already.

    Went to an awesome punk show Thursday night. The Menzingers, The Arteries, Leagues Apart and some acoustic duo (acoustic duo seem to open every punk show I go to). The crowd was into it which made me feel awesome. Last time I saw a really good band the crowd did not move for shit. That makes it three Thursdays in a row I've done something good, Michael Gambon in Krapp's Last Tape, Stewart Lee and now this.

    Today I'm going up to Manchester to see a few friends, get drunk and go to see Bomb the Music Industry! who I fucking love. They shouldn't work, a synth/punk/ska/acoustic collective doesn't sound like a good mix but it all comes together with such joy that it's irresistible. I love bands that sing about feeling like shit, but sing it in an uplifting way.

    I write. I've posted a couple pieces here (generally extracts from a bigger thing) and one of the guys who I'm going to see puts out a zine that I have a few bits in. Other than that I'm trying to finish a novel which is mainly just me ranting about punk rock for a couple hundred pages.

    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2010
    I'm actually typing this in the lobby of a hotel which becomes kind of a nightclub at night. So, technically, I'm at a nightclub on a Saturday Night full of young sexy creatures drinking and dancing, and I choose to invest my attention reading about you all - which allows me to claim without dispute the title of Grand Imperial Nerd Regent in Perpetuity.

    At Kinetic Steamworks

    That's me today at Kinetic Steamworks, which I think is located in Oakland. I'm visiting an old friend in San Francisco this weekend and getting around a bit. Saw a bunch of the big iron steam gurneys that Kinetic Steamworks hauls out to Burning Man every year, and then we went over to a gallery show of art from Pixar. Now, that was an eye-opening show. It absolutely reinforced my conviction that the greatest artists of our era are not in the fine-art world, they are all working in film, and half of them are with Pixar. The quality of work on display, some of it done for thrown away concepts, is incredible.

    I draw and I write, these are my off hours creative outlets. The most public airing I've given those drawings though has been this forum. I'm being prodded by friends to put work out in the world more often. I'd like to, but haven't figured out how to yet. I'm working on it.

    Many years ago I was an actor, and a good one. I did most of my work on stage and in live performances, no permanent record of which exists. Sometimes it feels like that life never happened. Then, once in a while, someone turns up from those days, or a photo resurfaces, and it's like finding a token of a magical kingdom from which I've been expelled. Cruel, fond reminders.

    No reason I couldn't be doing that again, other than my ability to wrestle the effort together.

    I hate the inertia of years misdirected.

    I want a professional life built around creativity, and I am working on it.
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2010
    Tell me what you want
    Money, money, money, money.

    tell me what you hate.

    Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful.
    Dunno about "wonderful", but a friend's wife made me an offer last night that I had trouble refusing.

    And, in fact: tell me what art you make, if you make art. Do you write, draw, push pixels, dance, photograph, sew, model, sculpt, weld, sing, hammer, play, design... whatever... tell me what art you make?
    Some of what I worked on today:

    Seashells 01

    That's me fucking around with iridescents, phosphorescents and stencils.
  4.  (9182.52)
    @dorkmuffin - I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. That's a rough place to be in. My condolences.

    @Dmitri - I think that's a safe bet, regarding being about that (being in a poly relationship) here. I've noticed an increase in the number of people who are willing to be open about that in recent years, and a lot more open-mindedness towards non-"traditional" relationship paradigms.

    Tell me what you want, tell me what you hate.

    I want to be in a place of more stability, and am slowly making my way that direction. I hate that I'm not currently in that place. Sometimes my pride gets in the way of asking for help when I should, or causes me to not relent in a situation when it may be better that I do. I think a lot of us are in that space right now, though, both here, and elsewhere.

    This week was a learning experience for me. On the one hand, it was shit in a few areas, but at the same point, the learning experience, while harsh, was one that needed to be had. I ended up spending too much time on a project that I should have stepped back from a few weeks ago, when the opportunity was given to me. Other factors pushed me back just far enough that I wasn't going to be able to get it done, so on Monday the AD passed it to another person. Mind you, the AD is a good guy, is aware of the various factors that have caused chaos for me over the last several weeks, and wants to bring me on with a later book that isn't under a hard deadline. While that was a relief, it still pushed me back enough that I wasn't able to get in on the ground floor of another project that I was demoing for.

    Like I said, hard lesson, but one that needed to be learned. Both of these were nobody's fault but mine, and at least I can take responsibility for that which is mine. I'll have other opportunities with both, but right now I'm shifting focus so that I can better get my shit in order.

    Tell me something filthy, strange and wonderful.

    I just painted something resembling a My Little Pony/Cthulhu crossbreed. I think that various parts of that sentence cover all of that... Well, except maybe "wonderful", but I made roasted garlic tonight, so that covers that part.

    And, in fact: tell me what art you make, if you make art. Do you write, draw, push pixels, dance, photograph, sew, model, sculpt, weld, sing, hammer, play, design... whatever... tell me what art you make?

    I'm a freelance artist. I paint, I draw, but of late it's mostly digital in nature. Here's a shot of my condensed, semi-nomadic setup, where I'm currently staying:

    Using a Wacom tablet, ArtRage and Photoshop are my two primary tools, but I also make use of a number of others. I do a lot of custom brush creation and usage in Photoshop. Examples of the custom brushwork can be found in the background of this recent piece, where there was no photo used, just a couple brushes, blend mode play, and some light/shadow/color touch-up:

    Here's the aforementioned "My Little Cthulhu" piece, shown at full size. I did it as one of the demo pieces of what quality one will be getting once I put my $5 Icon Art commission option live:

    Finally, a picture of me, in what many would probably claim is my natural environment:

    Thanks for the hospitality, Warren.
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2010
    Seantaclaus, your work is exquisite... such amazing textures. Everybody, your creativity is astounding. Never stop.

    Tonight's SNOM made me think a lot about Whitechapel as a community, spread over so many different time zones, countries, buildings, seasons... it's not made out of those things though, its made out of people. You lot are real, and I love how the SNOM enriches my feel of who you are. There is an honesty here I don't find anywhere else online, and is very rare in my own life too.

    It seems a lot of people on this forum suffer from a lot of self doubt, pain and alienation. I'm not exactly immune to such feelings... What antistigma said about soicial networking struck a chord... I just want you all to know that being part of Whitechapel is the most rewarding, reassuring, inspiring thing on the internet, and in my life. Seriously, you're one talented bunch of fuckers. Believe in yourselves or don't, but I believe in you. You people are important to me.

    I write stuff, I make music, and I publish other people's fiction, many of them fine Whitechapel folk.

    I've got a free hip-hop EP coming out soon on my netlabel Black Lantern Music, and I'm playing a one-day festival at the end of November in Edinburgh with some other bnds from the label. That's keeping me going. Work and life are stressful right now... nevertheless, reading this thread from start to finish has genuinely made me thankful for what I've got, in my life and right here, right now... you people are beautiful.


    Texture [photo by remotepush]
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2010
    I make things, out of one thing or another. Glukkake isn't just a name to make people uncomfortable (though it sure is a cruel joke toward internet meet-ups).

    Currently I am exploring all the various mediums I have available to me. I'm fixated on screenprinting and I think it might be the love of my life. We're having a bashful courtship, where we can't spend time away without getting depressed and angsty. And we stay up all night chatting on the phone.

    I'm still trying to put together a team to make a videogame. It's a clever idea with a beautiful aesthetic and it needs to get out there. The main things I'm missing is a programmer and a reliable animator.

    I'm starting to research making paints out of pigments. Because no one takes the time anymore and because I don't want to see this knowledge lost and maybe just maybe I'll make a beautiful new color. Or just have fun playing with gold dust like a decadent chinchilla.

    And this is me with a bottle of ill-gotten scotch, starting to feel the sadness of leaving London and everything wonderful that it held:

    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2010 edited
    @Glukkake - I have industry experience with paintmaking, using both liquid and powder pigments. You're welcome to give me a shout if you need any advice.

    @Howyadoin - What's going on with those stencils? I'm all fucking intrigued now.

    @Oldhat - you're pretty cool. Don't be hard on yourself.