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    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011
    I'm Cherie Priest. According to the Seattle Times, I am the high priestess of steampunk - which isn't very dignified, and is really a very obvious pun ... but someone was bound to make it someday. I'm not really complaining - I mean, I do write steampunk, namely the Clockwork Century books. But my most recent novel (which is not steampunk) is an urban fantasy called Bloodshot. It's about an OCD vampire and her drag queen sidekick.

    For details and whatnot, visit me here:

    And lots of big <3 to Warren for the thread!
  1.  (9543.2)
    Hi, I'm Martha Wells and I've written several SF/F books, but the latest is The Cloud Roads, published by Night Shade.

    Links to buy it, the first two chapters, and a few early reviews are on my web site here It's mostly a fantasy adventure novel, but it's also got some gender role reversal, an unusual romance, and a little sex, so I think it's a perfect gift for Valentine's day.

    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011
    I'm Ben Peek, a Sydney based author of just general weirdness, occasionally with an experimental bent. I'm the author of the autobiography Twenty-Six Lies/One Truth and the dystopian novel Black Sheep as well as a bunch of short fiction around and about.

    My latest book is a co-written novel with Stephanie Campisi entitled Above/Below:

    Above Cover Below Cover

    It's two novellas on a flip side book about a city that lives in the sky and a city that lives on the ground. I wrote Below, which is about the people on the ground. I guess maybe this isn't the best rundown of it, so I'll drop the blurb in behind it which explains it a little better than me in my I just woke up fuck you all state:

    A city has fallen from the sky.

    In the wreckage, two men – Devian Lell, a window cleaner in the floating cities of Loft, and Eli Kurran, a security guard in one of the polluted, ground-based cities of Dirt – will find their lives changed.

    Devian, who has done what few in the floating landscape have by stepping outside the sanctuary of his home, will be drawn into the politics of Loft, as he is recruited to be the assistant for Dirt’s political representative. On the ground, Kurran, still mourning the death of his wife, tries to remove himself from the violent politics of Dirt even as he is blackmailed into providing security for the diplomatic representative of Loft, a woman three times his age, and the oldest living person he has ever met.

    A tale of two cities, the stories Above and Below make up two halves of another in the TPP Doubles series. Written by Stephanie Campisi and Ben Peek, designed to be self-contained and complete as individual narratives, the two parts can be read in either order, yet also form a single narrative that has been intricately woven and designed to create a single, novel length story. It is a work that suggests not a single way of reading, but rather two, with conflicting morals that will continue to test the reader’s certainty in who, in the cities of Loft and Dirt, is in the right.

    It's from the independent press Twelfth Planet Press out of Western Australia and is, honestly, this disgustingly cute book that goes for thirteen bucks. It's pretty cool, and it needs you love, so feel free to tell you friends about it as well.

    Link for the book.
    • CommentAuthorTWM71
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011 edited
    Hello. I'm Thomas McKenzie and I'm the author of "KnoWare Man".

    (*Show and Tell, turns slowly to let everyone see it*)

    It's my first novel; it's about a Trustifarian named Walton who signs up for cryopreservation just to get the cool bracelet. Then he gets hit by a car. Then he wakes up 150 years later in a very different place; the U.S. went broke while he was in a coma and had to sell several states to pay the bills. California is now the New Japanese Territories. I won't say much more, except that the book is all about paranoia, and smoking, and heartbreak, and glossololia, and paranoia, and ruining the lives of innocent people in August of 2150.


  2.  (9543.5)
    @RenThing Thanks for picking it up. God's War is def. not an easy read - harsh worlds make for harsh people, which isn't for everyone (I've had some folks say the brutality reminds them of some of Abercrombie's stuff, which also isn't for everyone) - but cool that you enjoyed it overall. They're wickedly fun to write, so I'm hoping I can keep at it. Sequel's out in December.
    • CommentAuthordraxxx
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011
    Wow, look at these wicked cool people coming out here! First the tumblr thread, now this. Or maybe the other way around. Anyway.

    Hi, I'm Simon Drax. I wrote a book about a demon, an evil priest, a heroic babe, and a brooding immortal. It's called A Very Fast Descent into Hell and ah hell, you can buy it on amazon. Fuck it.

    Lots more, including free stuff, at my main site:

    Thank you Warren.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011

    I'll look for it. Will it be picking up with Nyx or will it be going with the rest of them who bailed on her?

    Oh, also, I'm not sure if you intended it to be done that way, but I found it interesting/amusing that the reader didn't really get any time inside Anneke's head the way we did with everyone else on the team and I'd like to think it's because she's a woman of simple needs: large guns, money, excitement and a chance to use said guns.
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011
    Hi. I'm Chris Wichtendahl, and I've written a sci-fi novel. It came about after spending an extended period of unemployment reading as much of the E.E. "Doc" Smith catalog I could get my hands on (which, apparently, is most of it). Doris Daring, Star Captain of the Spaceways is me working in Smith's pulp sci-fi style, with maybe a bit more sex and drugs in it.

    The link goes to the page I set up on my site for the book, which has a sample, links to buy (paperback and Kindle editions), along with a goofy book trailer.

    Thanks for checking it out, and thanks as always to Warren for the chance to put it out there.
    • CommentAuthormodayode
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011
    Hi. John Underwood here. I'm a long way from getting paid to write books, and a bit intimidated by the company I find myself in here. However, I'm typing this anyway and if in the morning I ask myself what I was thinking, I can take comfort in knowing that whiskey was a factor.

    The weirdest and either best or worst thing I've ever written can be peeked at for free on my blog. The short version: in a future America ruled by the Baptists, a young man named Jimmy Stick is deemed spiritually lacking and therefore eliminated by a laser shot from space (God's Lightning, you know). He is then replaced by a robot programmed to quote scripture and lead a life of righteousness.

    The first bit can be read here; it covers the relationship of the robot with Jimmy's girlfriend - who, by the way, has not realized that her boyfriend has been replaced by a robot. The scene is being narrated to Jimmy (apparently dead) by "God" as they smoke radioactive space weed grown on the dark side of the moon.

    The next bit is available over here, and involves the Robot Jimmy meeting his creator and later discovering what aerosol ether can do to his internal whirring bits. Writing a drug-induced robot orgasm was perhaps the pinnacle of my life.

    Thank you if you take a look, even if you don't like it. And thank you, Mr. Ellis, for this chance to whore myself.
    • CommentAuthorjames david
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011 edited
    I'm J David Osborne, and a few months ago the awesome Swallowdown Press put out my first novel, BY THE TIME WE LEAVE HERE, WE'LL BE FRIENDS. It's set in a Siberian gulag and it's got esophagus demons and cannibalism.

    Here's a better description, from the back cover:

    Siberia, 1953. Stalin is dead and a once-prosperous thief named Alek Karriker is feeling the pressure. Trapped in an icy prison camp where violent criminals run the show, betrayed by his friends and his body, Karriker is surrounded by death and disorder. Bizarre Inuit shamans are issuing ever-stranger commands that he must obey. Opium is running scarce and bad magic is plentiful. Razor-tooth gangsters can smell Karriker's blood and they plan to murder him more than once. The only option: ESCAPE.

    Enlisting the aid of an aging guard, a cold-blooded killer, and a beautiful, murderous nurse, Karriker must now secure his getaway by finding a "calf": a gullible prisoner to be cannibalized when the tundra is at its most barren. As the vice grows tighter and life in the gulag becomes increasingly surreal, Karriker must hurry to find his mark and convince him...


    Here's the cover, by the amazing Alex Pardee:


    Here's a link to the Amazon page.

    Here's my blog.

    And please feel free to add me on Facebook (James David Osborne) and Twitter (@jdavidosborne).

    I really dig this thread! The whoring is something I'm still learning to do, and this kind of go-ahead makes it easy. Thanks for this space!
    • CommentAuthoraarondietz
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2011
    My novel's weird. I find myself completely unable to explain it to people. And my publisher, Emergency Press, is allowing us to post every page on the web (one page per day).

    The novel's called Super, and it's set up as a series of psychological exams for a county-employed superhero. You can even take the tests online (thank you, Google forms!).

    A sample exam page is here:

    To take the exam, you'll need to read two short documents, starting here:

    More info about the book is here:

    Thanks, Warren, for this thread!
  3.  (9543.12)
    Hi, I'm Gareth Lewis and I write in a few genres, including science fiction, all available as ebooks.

    I have a couple of free novelettes available, Spikebreaker and Expressions of Freedom, and a science fictionish novel for sale ($0.99), Rainbows in Eclipse, the first half of which can be sampled for free.

  4.  (9543.13)
    Hey there, I'm Patrick O'Duffy. For several years I wrote about demons, vampires, monster hunters and pirates for RPG companies. These days I'm striking out on my own.
    The spiritual gravity inside the Hotel Flamingo is strange (some say damaged), and one symptom of this is that time bleeds away from everyone that steps through the smoke-stained doors. One moment in ten falls away from you, one tenth of every day, transformed into a waxy yellow buildup on the floors and walls of every room.

    Specifically, right now, I'm striking out with the novella Hotel Flamingo.

    Hotel Flamingo cover
    The autopsy revealed the hermaphroditic secrets of Tiresias Saddlefoot, two parents in one; a search of his parent's room revealed the clothes, the makeup, the internal contradiction and the will leaving him the Hotel Flamingo and the money to run it.

    Hotel Flamingo is a mosaic novella formed from 22 vignettes about 22 different characters that make up one inter-mingling story set in a strange hotel, where normal is a dirty word and the skin of the world occasionally tears enough to let a little blood dribble out like sanity from your ear.
    You wake up one day and realize that you spend all your drunk time doing stupid things and all your sober time feeling guilty for them, and that's when you make the choice, flip the switch to full sobriety or full drunkenness, responsibility or freedom.

    It's a story that involves poisoned dreams, pirate radio, false magicians, Lovecraftian horrors, meth dealers, destiny, the search for meaning, schizophrenia, midgets, fictional angels, hermaphrodites and a bunch of other stuff. If you don't like one idea, that's cool; another will come along two pages later.

    I've self-published Hotel Flamingo as an ebook through Smashwords, where (TOTAL FUCKING SHILL ALERT) you can buy it for just $2.95.

    (It's also available from Diesel, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Sony and the Apple iBookstore, in whatever format you fancy. The Kindle Store version is still in progress, which is kinda annoying, but Smashwords and Amazon are negotiating.)

    Jesse Fortnoy doesn't know the truth, but he knows that there is never just one truth, that facts are born from nothingness to fight it out in the backstreets of our minds until one claims the championship belt and eats the loser, it doesn't matter who wins, as long as there's a fight, popcorn and sawdust and cheap seats, follow the circus, see the world's fattest semotician, be amazed by the Vast Play of Ideas in this Fleshy Cockpit, every child wins a prize!>

    As an experiment, so far, it's not exactly a complete success, as it's selling pretty slowly and I struggle with the whole self-promotion thing - but hey, fuck it, failed experiments still yield results, and it's a learning process I can use when it comes to the next e-project (the anthology Godheads, which involves people turning into Franz Kafka novels, smokable gods, the ghosts of ghosts and other ideas that don't make much sense), which I'm hoping to finalise and publish in the next few weeks.
    And and and the ands occur simultaneously and in sequences, like a string of firecrackers tossed down a spiral staircase, like dominoes thrown into the air and landing each on their edge, like love and death and fate.

    The first 10% of the novella is available to read for free at Smashwords, which is enough to read the first two vignettes and a snippet of the third. Or, if you want more assurance that I can write worth a damn before laying down your hard-earned three bucks, you can also download the short story 'The Descent' for free at the same place.
    Descent cover
    Mister Smith was thinking about nothing in particular on the flight back to Melbourne when he looked out the window and saw a man standing on the top of a cloud.

    Science fiction? Not so much right now. Weird shit? Yeah, okay, I'll cop to that. Hopefully some of y'all might find this stuff to your liking.

    Patrick O'Duffy
    Not the Man From Atlantis
    • CommentAuthorchuckwendig
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2011 edited
    Hi, my name is Chuck Wendig.

    ("Hi, Chuck.")

    Is this my Narc Anon meeting? No? Well. Good. Because those meetings weren't very much fun anyway. Not nearly enough narcotics.

    I run a blog, wherein I curse a lot and dispense dubious wisdom, and I write things like Your Self-Published Book May Suck A Bag Of Dicks or No, Seriously, I'm Not Fucking Around, You Really Don't Want To Be A Writer.

    Just had a short horror film slash transmedia experience at the Sundance Film Festival (Pandemic), and have a feature in development that takes place in the same storyworld.

    Today, however, I am hitching up my man-skirts and whoring out this:

    Irregular Creatures: Short Stories by Chuck Wendig


    Nine short stories of bizarre-o beasties and mythological mutants.

    Within its "pages" you'll find: flying cats, mermaids, Bigfoot, bad dads, forgetful grandpas, giant chickens, singular zombies, evil sex monkeys, goat dudes, cross-dimensional marketing schemes, lost children, broken families, the vagina of a fallen angel, and a mystic hobo hermaphrodite.

    It is an e-book. And, as we know, e-books eat real books. That's what the 'e' stands for.

    You can procure this crass menagerie at Amazon for $0.99 today, on Valentine's Day.

    Or you can nab it in your magpie's beak over at my website in PDF or ePub format for $2.99.

    Thank you.

    Now back to your regularly-scheduled "Weird Shit Anonymous" meeting. Thanks for the opportunity to shake my word-booty.

    -- Chuck Wendig []
  5.  (9543.15)

    Loved it.

    Found my way to your blog a few days back and read the piece on women in urban fantasy...interesting and true.
    • CommentAuthorlcrisler
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2011
    I'm Lincoln Crisler, and my third book is being released in March from Damnation Books in digital and paperback formats. WILD is a Weird Western (with bonus! zombies and black magic) based on a real missing persons case from the Old West. You can read about it at

    In addition to the Damnation Books versions, you can find information on the 26-copy lettered I produced myself. It'll be shipping real soon, and at $35, you pretty much can't lose.

    Thanks, Warren!
  6.  (9543.17)
    I am D. Harlan Wilson. I think where I am not; therefore I am where I do not think. Here is a bit:

    by D. Harlan Wilson

    I couldn’t find my pants. I called work. Racial issues dissuaded the technicians of behavior from negotiating my concerns. Somebody mentioned a machete. I hung up.

    Only one slowshot remained: . . . A fat woman in an airy sundress runs across the savannah speedflicking razorsharp paperclips at terrified bystanders who shriek and shred into raw tendrils of gore. Obscene algorhythms oppose the varicose fatfolds that punctuate the woman’s knees . . .


    More of my horseshit here: Thank you Warren.

    • CommentAuthorSteve Lowe
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2011
    My name is Steve Lowe and I wrote the book that finally asks the question, What Would Kirk Cameron Do?

    You can find Muscle Memory here.

    You can find out about my plan to donate money to a not-for-profit foster care organization here.

    And thanks to Warren for providing this place to dump some of my crap.

  7.  (9543.19)
    @RenThing The sequel will be picking up with Nyx and her crew - some new and some familiar and-not-too-happy-to-be-working-with-Nyx-again faces. And yes, Anneke is largely left out because she's just not terribly conflicted. I had a chapter from her POV that I ended up cutting because she was actually a very happy-go-lucky-content sort of person - as much as a gunslinger and former felon can be.

    @tadethompson Very cool that you picked it up the book and enjoyed it. The UF thing has been bothering me for awhile, so I do rant about it on occasion. Always good to hear that it's giving some folks something to chew on.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2011

    Rock on. Well, you've got at least one sale in the future from me and I'll be putting up my review of God's War on my tiny blog later this week.