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      CommentAuthorCameron C.
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2011
    Hola, Whitechapel.

    So. I have my license, now. I would have had it a year ago, when I was living in the desert, but my mother and her husband are evil and, as punishment for me not finding a job out in the desert, they sorta put a stop to my progress in that area (Not too thought out, as the desert has no bus system so... not much I could do). The instructor I had back then was insane, too. Of course I cant drive my car, yet, as when they bought it they put it in my name, which they (Ive been told) cant legally do because you cant sell a car to someone w/o a license, then they drove it off the lot w/o any insurance coverage, and so the DMV isnt doing whatever needs to be done so the car can be driven legally. (Its all above my head, at this point, still :S ) I can drive my brothers and my fathers car, though, so once I get parking at my school i wont have to get rides there anymore.


    Have some openings at a hospital Im gonna apply to. My fathers girlfriend works there and hopefully that will help. It would just be transporting patients around. Walking them out when they are discharged, between rooms, stuff like that. The best part: The position is titled "Escort Services" B)

    Despite these steps towards some sort of personal infrastructure and being an actual adult, the last two weeks have been pretty dumb. No matter what, I just feel miserable. I'm very happy I got into classes Im enjoying, and that I can use to learn stuff I can apply to the REAL LIFE, (And Ive been getting really helpful and positive stuff in my art class, too) it's just become very difficult to see beyond the IMMEDIATE MOMENT RIGHT THIS SECOND. And right this second I'm trying to get through my two academic classes without the bajillion dollar text books, trying to get my own car drivable, figure out how to grow a spine and separate myself from some people in my life, and, you know, stuff.

    I'm working on my third ~30 page comic about robots and tentacly monsters. The first two are here or here (for PDFs, not physical). And this one is free! Im also about to send a four page comic over to Nygaard, for his zine, and have a single page comic in THIS (which is only a buck!). And I send out comics occasionally via Tiny Letter, still.
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2011
    @LokiZero - My condolences. That is one of the hardest things ever, but like Mr. Sizer said, you DID do the right thing and I hope you're able to find solace in that some time soon.

    I spent the day repainting our bathroom. Seemed like a trivial thing but it suffered from "feature creep" and between rewiring and re-drywalling on top of the painting, I'm a wreck of a man.
    speckled egg head

    Being "handy around the house" doesn't come naturally to me, but after being a home owner for 7 years or so, I have learned that I can be. I've replaced our sewage line (retch), built a lovely fence, fixed the water line to the house, replaced a toilet, cut down two trees, fought back a massive laurel hedge and encroaching bamboo (That stuff is a fucking virus! Beautiful, but a virus.) and now the bathroom. Go, me.

    Now, I'm relaxing, playing Minecraft (I made a domed building!), drinking a dark ale called Black Toad (not too shabby) and enjoying hearing about how you all are doing.
  1.  (9644.23)
    @LokiZero It's a tough call to make, always, but you helped prevent a lot of suffering for an innocent, so I hope that finds you comfort.

    My life?

    Well, I found a gap in something a couple other research groups have done. It's taken me eight months to fully explore that gap, but I've discovered it's full of interesting things. I might have figured out something really new about the virus I work on. There may be a paper in the works. I wish I could say more, but there's still competition out there.

    I'm also trying to get back to my writing. I've got a few stories I really ought to put in front of some eyes, but I've been so damn busy with the above two lines and two other projects on top of that. Tonight though...tonight I broke ground on a deep pit of words I plan to dig myself into.

    It's nice to finally have a weekend where I don't have to go to the lab.
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2011
    I was in New York City at this time last week. I wish I was still there. I got back on Wednesday night, and have been incredibly stressed ever since. You know how sometimes things pile up all at once? They're doing that. Everything. And I haven't had the energy or focus to tackle anything.
    On Monday I got to see the boy I love for a few short hours. I won't see him again for 15 months. Those were the happiest hours I've had in ages, but now I just miss him more. I guess next time I see him, I'll be able to actually say some of what I'm feeling, and give him a hug at least. That will be nice.
    On Tuesday my ex-boyfriend, who was also in NYC on this trip, decided he wanted to cuddle with me and pretend he hadn't dumped me less than a week before we left for New York. I should have said no, but didn't. Instead I was just annoyed he wouldn't let me kiss him. He didn't want to lead me on, apparently. Right.
    Then there was travel, exhaustion, and stress. I'd submitted work to an art show at the beginning of the month, and didn't make it in. The opening was last night, and I figured I'd go and see who'd beaten me. Everything in there was total crap, save maybe 2 pieces. But then, I might be biased as I'm friends with one of the artists. It was the type of show that just made me want to throw up my arms and give up on art completely, because if this is what people want in art, I'm screwed.
    I went out to get tacos with my ex afterward, and he expressed the same feelings about the show. I was enjoying the ego boost, so I offered for him to come back to my apartment and get some cheesecake. He ended up staying the night, on my request this time, since I was so bummed and felt so little after seeing that art show. We slept in after going to bed early, which is a serious problem, as I have no time. We're definitely not going to get back together, so I don't know why I did that. I wish I could be held without having it hurt right now.
    Today I tried to make a portfolio case with cardboard and big sheets of paper, as I don't own one big enough for some of my work. It looked horrendous. This was for a portfolio review regarding scholarships that's due Monday for a school I'm thinking of transferring to. I asked a teacher if I could borrow a case of his, and thankfully he said yes. Only it was after I'd wasted quite a few hours on the other one, which is now in a trash can.
    I need another spring break. Not for fun, just to try and catch up. New York was worth it, though. Even if I can't graduate because of how much I've fallen behind, New York was worth it.
    This was how I felt on Monday, even though I'd just said goodbye again. It was worth everything to feel like that for a few minutes.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2011
    I took yesterday off to drive up to Seattle for a model rocketry convention. My sense of time is all screwed up . . . I keep thinking it's Sunday, so I was surprised to see the Open Mike posted.

    So. Work week went fine. Filed a lot of bugs. Learned I'm getting a bonus next week; don't know how much.

    Creativity level, zero. Feeling totally drained and discouraged. Yesterday afternoon I dropped by a local game shop I saw listed in the yellow pages. Turned out to be having a going out of business sale. Saw three of my game books from the 1980s, gathering dust along with five hundred other forgotten role playing adventures.

    I went downtown last night, to see the tourist things. The Space Needle was nicely updated, with display panels on the observation deck and a neat gimmick where you could email a novelty picture of yourself to friends. Included in the admission price!
    Me March 11
    The monorail, which loomed large in my childhood imagination, was a bit of a let-down. The light rail system in Portland is much more modern and quieter. You do get a nice overhead view of downtown streets during the brief ride.

    Today's rocketry convention was very low key, and a bit somber. Very few young people, lots of consternation about how to attract young blood. Kids apparently do buy and fly rockets, but they want immediate gratification, not a geeky hobby and construction projects.
      CommentAuthorJeff Owens
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2011
    @LokiZero - Many tears were just wiped from my face. I am sorry for your loss and wish I could reverse it.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2011 edited

    Turned my computer back on and logged back in to write this.

    My family let our last cat drag on through kidney failure to the end, and it was horrible. I wasn't around for his awful last night, when it was too late to rush the poor guy to a vet to be put down and all my mom could do was hold him until he passed on.

    You did the right thing. I hope I have the sense to fairly judge when it's my dog's time to go.
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2011
    So, my first week in Korea is coming to an end and I feel like I'm in a good place.
    Tried to do the tefl thing last year in Spain and bailed after the first few months. I felt like all my confidence had been sucked out of me and was certain that something was wrong in my head. (In hindsight I think I was just encountering the first symptoms of home sickness.)
    So, I flew back to England with my tail between my legs and ended up spending a few months focusing on my mindfulness training. I think it did me a favor because despite feeling more like an outsider than I ever did in Spain and some disappointments upon arrival, it's been a lot easier to look on the bright side.
    That being said, I have to give credit to all the Korean people I've met so far for being so bloody charming.

    @Loki You did the right thing. I bet you made that little cat feel like a queen.
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2011
    Dr. Sketchy's had it's first Saturday session today which was fun. That might turn into something in June... I have wheels turning in my noggin. WonderCon here in San Francisco in April. Might go to London in May. So there's that to look forward to. Turning 40 in July. Not really looking forward to that. At least, not the fuss and bullshit surrounding it.

    Started pencilling page 18 of my Steampunk comic. Steampunk! Zombies! ON THE FUCKING MOON! 6 more to go and that's #1 wrapped. Ugh. Sorry, I mean, then it's straight on to #2. More on that as things progress... It should be out in time for San Diego.

    I was hoping to get a Kickstarter project moving before the end of this month... that might still happen. Look out for more crap from me about that later this month, I guess. That, and another old project - The Work! Anthology might make its way to Kickstarter, as well.

    Turned out a wicked Dubstep choon the other day based around the poem, "Education For Leisure". It's up at Bandcamp - I've made it PWYL, and I'd love it if people would check out some of my other technofilth.

    Got admitted into Artsprojekt, which I guess is like a fancy part of Zazzle. Which made me feel pretty good about myself and my tee-shirt designs. So I'll be knocking out more of that good stuff in the future.

    So, yeah.

    If I actually planned all this shit, I might be a little better at it.
  2.  (9644.30)
    My Saturday?

    So, despite getting the go-ahead from his mom that he could come over for a visit today, William's mom not only delayed the pick-up time, but his step-dad said he couldn't come over for his visit at all...!

    Nevermind that his mom hasn't been adhering to the visitation order (in part due to his swimming/work, etc. which I can understand and accept. Which is why days like this that have NOTHING to do with school/swimming/work are important to me (and him). And so NOW because he's being told he has to help his mom at her booth for her shirt-printing next weekend, it'll be another 2 weeks minimum that he can be over.

    That's okay, really--she'll be able to see the joys of a contempt hearing herself, if she wishes. That, or I'll just let her husband know about the time she came over to my home THE SAME DAY SHE MOVED OUT OF THEIRS and had sex with me, before moving back into their home at the end of the week. I'll be able to utter the words "I'm sure you believe your youngest son is yours, but you might wanna be damn sure of that." (He needn't know we used protection.)

    Pissed? Me? Nah.

    And Loki--yikes. My heart goes out to you and yours. My main cat, Bean, has been through a lot with me--break-ups, new girlfriends, children, my dad getting cancer and dying, a house-fire, my marriage. When she goes, a part of me is going with her, and I feel for you.
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2011
    I quit my part time job, officially.
    Thursday, March 17th, is my last night on duty. Then I'll be switched to picking up shifts whenever needed, which might occur in May, but otherwise I'll pretty much be left to setting my own sleep schedules & having more time for my own projects, which is nice.

    I feel like my work load has suffered while I was working there. It's damn hard to be doing 11pm-10am two nights a week and then having to fix myself so I can start taking meetings at 11am and answering emails from people who work only 10a-6p. Sleeping made me feel so guilty.

    Now I'm stuck where I'm going to bed around 4pm and waking up at 1am. Slowly, and with the help of daylights savings, I should be awake by 10am soon enough. Also, I plan on drinking a ton of coffee today.

    There are plans in the works for the remaining four responsibilities (freelance work, silkscreen studio, Sketchy's and the art collective). The temperature is warming up and I can feel my muscles start to stretch and that clawing need to fill every hour of my life with something worthwhile is getting stronger. So long, hibernation.

    From earlier in the week, while I was getting over a headcold, naked and eyebrowless.
  3.  (9644.32)
    a week of nausea, stupid fights, swollen joints, migranes and endless hours making things on a computer thats too slow and that I do know how to use ...
      CommentAuthorcity creed
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2011
    'chapel. Gaffer.

    it's sunday already huh?
    I'm having trouble keeping up with the whole diurnal cycle at the moment.
    Taught myself VRML over the last 72 hours, or a chunk of it anyway, enough to have some fun with.
    I've started mentally mapping key locations in my local environment with Cartesian co-ordinates centred on my laptop.
    The kettle is at -7 0 0, the bathroom at -3 0 -5, the local 24hr shop is at about -40 -30 -5.
    I'm counting the radians until noon tomorrow, when the deadline looms...

    Loki: You did the decent thing. Never easy. Love to you and yours.
  4.  (9644.34)
    @LokiZero So sorry to hear.
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2011
    Well, as of tomorrow I start my new part-time job on sourcing and editing articles for that fair website while the small one (my 10 month old daughter) sleeps or is entertaining her grandparents. Not sure how it will go yet. Sourcing and editing is straightforward enough, but fitting it into life as a full time dad could be tricky. Still, once she's older, I may be able to grow it into a full time job. Which would be nice. And it will slightly improve the financial situation which is now pretty dire after four months of unemployment.

    Was bemused to find out that lists Warren as my Twitter godfather for reasons unknown.

    And I continue to wonder why Red Bull is being sold in 473ml cans rather than 500ml. Am guessing it's to do with the max amount of caffeine that can be sold in a single beverage, but don't really know.
    • CommentAuthorMrMonk
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2011 edited
    473 ml = 16 fl oz (1 pint)

    Nothing much going on here. Took a big salary adjustment (downward) at work, and am now looking to change. Resume is actually being well-received. Phone interviews scheduled with two major companies not far from home.

    Also meeting some Chinese gentlemen in New York this week about a job in Geraldton, AU. Probably not taking the job, even if I'm offered it, but I could use the practice interviewing. I can also take a rare day in New York.

    A Russian friend is encouraging me to go over there as an English-language instructor. Interesting idea, but not practical, I think (have to arrange to sell or rent house over here, sell or store possessions, no job when I get back, possibly illegal, etc.).

    Went a little mad, but an adjustment in the meds and a few therapy sessions, and it looks as if things will be all right.
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2011
    Ah HA! It determines godfather by the first person on the list that you're following.

    Also, I am slightly disturbed by the fact that I believe I own that exact same dinosaur/dragon thing in your userphoto, hmobius
  5.  (9644.38)
    @Mr Monk: I lived in Geraldton for a few years. The country around there is picturesque, the weather is warm and the beaches are stunning, but there's a fair bit of crime downtown.
  6.  (9644.39)
    I had discovered that Saturday was the last performance of Geoffrey Rush in Diary of a Madman, and missed my opportunity to buy tickets to that show by half an hour. Dammit. So instead, I got a $25 nosebleed ticket to see Derek Jacobi in King Lear in three months time. I've decided to take advantage of my NYC access by taking part of the things that make NYC so very unique. Especially the theatre and museums. This week I shall visit the Houdini exhibit at the Jewish Museum before it ends this month. I'd rather eat less and live shoestring and attend things than live comfortably and do nothing.

    I'd spent my Saturday night cleaning in profound ways. I met a veteran from Afganistan while at the laundromat and he and I talked about politics for an hour or so. Earlier in the week, a man at a bodega in a subway station gave me food and told me to pay later when I realised I had no cash on me. I found a working monitor on the street. I donated money to the UN Refugee fund when volunteers came to the door. I bought myself some dental insurance (thank you NYU Dental Schoool) to keep form losing another tooth. I was told that I should do spoken word by a fellow who does spoken word, and I will probably do so.

    Me, as of three weeks ago:


    Since then, my life has shifted gears completely, and I'm trying to keep up. Trying to find more ways to make money, a place to move to permanently, trying to teach my left hand to draw, trying to fully embrace being social, trying to convince myself that this good patch with my health will last forever, trying not to succumb to the self hatred, trying not to beat myself up for dropping a class, trying to catch up to school. I'm hemmoraging money, assuming I'll figure something out before my student loans run out.

    It all seems to be working. throwing myself to the flow of the universe, letting the path choose. Things work better than way, and is usually evidenced by sharp increase in coincidence.

    However, MOST IMPORTANTLY, having finally started watching the Smith/Moffat Doctor Who, (if you'll forgive the cartoon metaphor)I think the show has finally shed it's Batman Beyond type clunkiness and has become the Revenge of the Joker. The Hungry Earth was the first time I felt like I was really watching Doctor Who since the new series began. This makes me happy in ways I can't really express.

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