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London Zoo: WhiteChapel TV

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  1.  (965.1)
    Fuck TV.

    I haven't sat down and specifically watched TV in over three years. Anything that I really care about gets shown in American first, bittorrent second, then UK fifth. There has been a truly shameful display of broadcasting from top to bottom. The news is poor, "reality" should be taken outside and shot (including everyone involved) and the acting has become second rate in 9 out of 10 cases.

    So now its time for revolution. Let's get annoyed, let's get angry, let's take back television.

    I am drunk and cross. It's the build up to horny werewolf day.

    We have 168 hours of airtime to fill 52 times over.

    We have "Things That Should Not Exist" at 8pm every night, and four seasons of the original Sweeney (Ray Winston will have a price on his head for his film remake)

    I'm Deputy Director General. Now, go find/think of some programming that is worthy.
    •  
      CommentAuthortedcroland
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.2)
    How's a channel of nothing but live music by not-overexposed bands and musicians? You can even have channels by popular genre--rock channel, punk channel, rap channel, hip hop, etc. Also, a channel where people like Kanye West and Britney Spears are just severely beaten 24 hours a day.
  3.  (965.3)
    "Let's hunt and kill Billy Ray Cyrus" would have to be in there... and of course 'Evil Truthsaying Bastard Spider'.
  4.  (965.4)
    I'd pay to watch "Evil Truthsaying Bastard Spider".
    • CommentAuthorSteerpike
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.5)
    Why not do your own broadcasts on something like Kyte?
    •  
      CommentAuthorTrotsky
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.6)
    Awesome Show, 24/7.

    that's the only option, in my opinion.

    all day, every day.
  7.  (965.7)
    @tedcroland
    Live music. No over exposure. Congratulation. You've written the first music policy of WTV

    @CatVincent
    This is clearly an in joke I am too old/british/drunk to understand.

    @Evil Truthsaying Bastard Spider.
    No no no no. Did you people not get that comic or something?

    @Steerpike
    That website seems to be completely overrun by 50 Cent fans. So no. And this is TV. Not youtube.
    •  
      CommentAuthorTrotsky
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.8)
    Tv is dieing. hello Youtube.
    •  
      CommentAuthorPete Martin
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008 edited
     (965.9)
    @Trotsky, drink some more.

    Then you'll see that TV is weak like the Tsar. Do not give in to the Youtube dogs

    FANTASTIKA!

    And youtube is for bloggers and girls dancing in their pants. Nothing has yet to beat editorial control in the hands of a genius.
  10.  (965.10)
    Heh. Pete, 'Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus' is part of a Bill Hicks joke. You need to drink more.

    "The Giant Rats that Ate Eastenders" and the follow up "The Sexually Frustrated Wolverines that Ate Emerdale" would be interesting televisual delights.


    Will
    •  
      CommentAuthorhmobius
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.11)
    @Pete Martin. Let's Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus is an old Bill Hicks routine.

    How about BoingBoing.tv as a full channel?
    • CommentAuthorjona
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.12)
    @pete martin

    you say "reality" should be taken outside and shot.
    Wrong! broaden it out to make it interesting: Celebrity Battle Royale.
    I nominate Kerry Katona and Jordan for the first series.
    •  
      CommentAuthorzarhooie
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.13)
    How the Future Will Kick Our Collective Arses would be an excellent show.
  14.  (965.14)
    This man will save us all:

    Think Again


    Will
  15.  (965.15)
    Okay, as Deputy Director General, I do not have to learn every Bill Hicks script off by heart.

    Because, you know, that be sad. The man strove for originality, not to be a quote machine.

    rats/wolverines eating eastenders/emerdale would almost be a good opening

    if you were a crazy person.

    Come on people. What if we could take TV back?

    Who would you give shows to? Who would be in the team? I think I would comission Joss Whedon's latest thing no matter what. And I would make Tyler Brule head of documentaries.
  16.  (965.16)
    @Zaarhooie

    Consider yourself promoted
    •  
      CommentAuthorTrotsky
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.17)
    @ Mr Pete Martin,

    I cannot drink, I am horrible at it. I have given up.

    I agree that nothing can beat editorial control in the hands of a genius...
    But you have to put that control in the hands of a genius.
    That doesn't happen enough for me to pay money for TV.

    I'll buy shows on DVD, I'll buy shows on DVD like nobody's fucking business, but that's it.

    To deny the validity of Youtube is such a cop-out. If my dad is on there, then America is on there,
    and (more importantly) the world is on there.

    also, I second the need for How the Future will Kick Our Collective Asses.
    An hour a day, at the very least.
    •  
      CommentAuthortedcroland
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.18)
    Live music. No over exposure. Congratulation. You've written the first music policy of WTV


    It's funny, most music I like is super overexposed (yay Pink Floyd!), but I think it's vitally important to music that chances are given to all sides and subgenres. I despise the ideaology that creativity should be 'sold', especially when considering that a good portion of pop culture is not based on creative value, it's based on saleability.

    Though, I suppose that Floyd is a testament to the power of the counter culture to permeate the things that would normally be ignored by mainstream pop culture. People that listen to 'Fitty saying that the Roger Waters' Soundscapes "isn't music" severely intensifies my urge to kill all humans.
    • CommentAuthorMathias B
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2008
     (965.19)
    First order of business: Let David Lynch do a TV series from start to finish the way he wants it. They always seem to screw him over, most recently with Mulholland Drive. And that's just wrong.
  20.  (965.20)
    Remakes of popular television shows where the entire cast has been replaced with zombies. I'll watch anything if it has zombies in it. I'd watch Jeremy Kyle if he were actually a flesh-crazed walking cadaver rather than just seeming like that.

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