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Main Junction: Something old, something new; what rough beast slouches o'er a well-poured brew?

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  1.  (9909.1)
    The TV's on. A weaselman with lacquered hair - whose first name is also an item of hand-clothing from a sport I know nothing about - just announced he intends to run for the Presidency of the United States. Elsewhere, lazy sense-grabbing suggests that the world is probably going to shit itself to death in the next century or two; I'm venemously jetlagged; Kyoto University is building a baby mammoth; military firearms experts have assisted police in arresting a man in Watford town centre; a kid outside my window just shouted “shit your birdface off”; all is well. Call that a DATESTAMP#1, shall we?

    Warren suggested I de-cloak and say hello. Hello.

    You may have heard, by now, that the guys who distantly host this site - Avatar Press - are giving me a lot more work. In Octoberish we're going to go live with a webcomic which, like Freakangels, will be free-to-air with a new episode every week. Unlike Freakangels, it will revolve entirely around a community of frightened survivalists on a dreary little Island amidst the diarrheic Scottish splatter of the Orkneys. It's called "Crossed: Wish You Were Here", and now is not the time to speak of it. But soon.

    Several people have noted, with something uncomfortably like outrage, that there's an indecently long gap between the scheduled end of the 100%-Free-And-Awesome Freakangels, and the start of the 100%-Free-And-Also-Awesome,-honest,-take-my-word-for-it,-in-episode-1-a-dolphin-totally-gets-a-taste-of-its-own-medicine,-and-later-on-there's-this-thing-with-a-nun-using-an-unsocketed-kneebone-for-nefarious-reasons,-plus-an-ongoing-contemplation-on-the-relationship-between-artist-and-audience,-also-a-cow-with-a-grenade-up-its-bum, Wish You Were Here. To these people I can cheerfully announce that a) things are not as dire as they seem, b) secret plans are afoot to mitigate your pain, c) there's a good reason we're not changing the name of the site – and it's got nothing to do with a Crossed webcomic. And d) Gift/Horse/Mouth. Stop fucking whingeing.

    At any rate, you'll be seeing more of me around these parts.

    I'm not about to start using the language of "taking over" (and not just because I can barely organise my own sleep patterns, far less a big beautiful gestalt like this). The simple fact is that under Warren's expert eye Whitechapel has become a sexy, creepy, weird, thriving-yet-unique community of its own, and I’m not about to bugger about with that. I’ve been lurking around here for the majority of Whitechapel’s life, and I’m absolutely not intending to start making sweeping changes from the getgo. See, over the years Warren’s made a cunning art out of inviting unlikely, overlapping and mongrel groups of people out to drink with him – I’ve formed several of my strongest friendships thanks to his alcofrolic matchmaking – and I like to think of Whitechapel as his grand-scale version of the same skulduggery. As far as I’m concerned the chosen analogue of “Talking Interesting Bollocks In The Best Pub Ever” remains key to this place, and I sincerely hope that – reduced attendance or not – the Chief won’t completely deprive us of his own magnificent pair.

    As it were.

    Other things of note:

    1) It won’t be just me, cluttering-up the moderator’s seat. You’re going to see several other surprising names and faces, raising a pint among the rest of us, over the months and years to come.

    2) Whoever’s name is technically on the Licensee’s Plaque above the door, the Landlady remains unchanged. Until I can definitively prove to the authorities she’s a fantastically dangerous Doombot disguised as an attractive woman – possibly running on fags and the bile of murdered kittens – I hope that Ariana will continue to serve us the best pork scratchings in town (as well as the obligatory knuckle-sandwiches for any wanker who puts Oasis on the jukebox).

    3) None of this is happening with anything like imminence. There are t’s to cross, i’s to gouge and blöt to be made to the dark and pagan gods of Routine. All being well, the transition will barely show.

    So let’s just order-in another round, send a supremely grateful jaegerbomb or six up the bar to Warren, and get back to the bollocks. Kay? Kay.

    -Si Spurrier.x
    @sispurrier
    •  
      CommentAuthormoali
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.2)
    Si you beautiful, beautiful bastard, Hello and welcome.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.3)
    I, for one, welcome our new Hellbastard overlord.

    Dolphins? Color me intrigued.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.4)
    Wow, this is some news! Welcome to the fracas, sir.
  5.  (9909.5)
    Unlike Freakangels, it will revolve entirely around a community of frightened survivalists on a dreary little Island amidst the diarrheic Scottish splatter of the Orkneys


    The only way I see that as different from Freakangels is that it replaces 'London' with 'Scottish' and 'East End' with 'Orkneys'. Looking forward to it massively.
  6.  (9909.6)
    This ought to be fun.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.7)
    Hello and welcome!

    Really looking forward to Wish You Were Here!
    •  
      CommentAuthorinfomancer
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.8)
    A new barkeep at The Best Pub Ever, eh? Welcome!
    •  
      CommentAuthorkperkins
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.9)
    "Dolphins"? I'm in.
    •  
      CommentAuthorD.J.
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011 edited
     (9909.10)
    Can I just say how wonderfully disturbing In Fetu was? Yes, okay. High hopes for Crossed!
    •  
      CommentAuthorAriana
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.11)
    Until I can definitively prove to the authorities she’s a fantastically dangerous Doombot disguised as an attractive woman – possibly running on fags and the bile of murdered kittens
    I've got nothing against kittens.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.12)
    ...will you be keeping the arse eels? I mean, I think I speak for more than just myself in knowing where those little bastards are going to end up
  13.  (9909.13)
    Starting to make me wonder who ELSE lurks about this place...!

    Welcome aboard, Sir.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSobreiro
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.14)
    Hello, boss!
  15.  (9909.15)
    Part of the reason we're aiming for a slow transition is that it takes far longer than you might think to develop the appropriate Anal Pocket for the storage and manipulation of Arse Eels. It's not something you want to rush, y'know? Nobody wants to belong to a forum ravaged by poorly-disciplined rectal anguilliformes.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDovryn
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.16)
    I'm looking forward to this. Welcome to the drivers seat, Si. Glad to have ya.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBeamish
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.17)
    You have a way with words and I am looking forward to the future.
  18.  (9909.18)
    • CommentAuthorfod_xp
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011
     (9909.19)
    All of this sounds great, let the transition begin! Never read a Crossed Comic before, and I can't wait to try the Webcomic. Something tells me by the half way point of the first story you'll have me buying every Crossed TPB and HC ever printed. :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorjoe.distort
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2011 edited
     (9909.20)
    hey si, nice chatting with ya saturday morning. ( i was the beardo who asked about GUTSVILLE)

    hey all...ive got the WYWH preview. FUCK YOU DOLPHINS

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