Whitechapel - Portable Statements 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla & Feed Publisher Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298824#Comment_298824 2011-06-21T00:08:25-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 razrangel http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2075 Got any favorite portable statements? Examples: freedom isn't free, bros before hos, Jesus saves, power corrupts & absolute power corrupts absolutely, when Clinton lied nobody died, 49% of all ...
Examples: freedom isn't free, bros before hos, Jesus saves, power corrupts & absolute power corrupts absolutely, when Clinton lied nobody died, 49% of all statistics are created on the spot [or fill in with another number, of course]

and my own life maxim: it never works out quite the way you were thinking.

Basically, while these are quotes, they get peppered into speech free of their original context because the words in such an order invoke a greater sense tidily captured. They become like idioms but are usually just a little longer and newer than most recognized idioms. And, our culture being what it is, are often used sarcastically.
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Long ago in another lifetime some smart ass friends came up with the phrase "portable statements" to cover the domain of all mottos, idioms, bumper sticker catchphrases and other shibboleth with particular attention to any handy statements they created.

The phrase is, ipso facto, a portable statement which is why I love it so much I've held onto it after letting go of those friendships. (I do miss those guys sometimes; time and tide just sorta happen, you know?)]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298831#Comment_298831 2011-06-21T02:12:47-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Drax http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=5982 "It's a bit more complicated than that" - Paraphrased from Ben Goldacre I actually have a small issue with a lot (but definitely not all) of stock phrases, particularly one that keeps ...
I actually have a small issue with a lot (but definitely not all) of stock phrases, particularly one that keeps popping up at the moment "The squeezed middle". People often use them when they have no actual evidence but have a feeling that something they've felt is endemic of a wider problem. It seems that some portable statements have a kind of power to end a discussion/debate/furious argument which is odd. See also: "Funeral held for common sense..", "Political correctness gone mad" etc.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298840#Comment_298840 2011-06-21T03:10:44-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 razrangel http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2075 That issue is a discomfort that should be there. }:> I kind of get a perverse kick out of portable statements precisely because they have to be somewhat over simplifications of the issue at ... I kind of get a perverse kick out of portable statements precisely because they have to be somewhat over simplifications of the issue at hand. They are handy phrases people hide behind because how a person feels about them quickly (and sloppily) defines how they feel about the subject at hand.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298844#Comment_298844 2011-06-21T04:02:50-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 sneak046 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4574 Most recently I came across this one "On the internet if you aren't paying for it, you are the commodity." Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298854#Comment_298854 2011-06-21T06:52:03-07:00 2011-06-21T06:52:25-07:00 city creed http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4530 Is there a distinction to be made between portable statements and plain old slogans? They would seem to fulfill many of the same functions. They would seem to fulfill many of the same functions.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298860#Comment_298860 2011-06-21T08:09:23-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Nil http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=389 @citruscreed Off the top of my head, a slogan is something created (or adapted) for a specific purpose (to sell an idea / product / person), whereas these statements tend to be dropped in in place ...
Off the top of my head, a slogan is something created (or adapted) for a specific purpose (to sell an idea / product / person), whereas these statements tend to be dropped in in place of actual thought. Or something. I only just woke up, so I'm not exactly running at full speed yet.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298870#Comment_298870 2011-06-21T10:00:40-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Internaut http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=7307 "We've got ourselves in one hell of a goat rodeo." I actually had no idea goat rodeo was a phrase until about a month ago. Apparently it's a regional thing.
I actually had no idea goat rodeo was a phrase until about a month ago.

Apparently it's a regional thing.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298879#Comment_298879 2011-06-21T11:45:51-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 JP Carpenter http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2485 'that's another back of a fag packet job'. Became such a joke at work that we actually had a flattened B&H box we christened the Intranet Design Manual... 'I'm in a brewery where a pissup ...
Became such a joke at work that we actually had a flattened B&H box we christened the Intranet Design Manual...

'I'm in a brewery where a pissup is not occurring'

'It's just another Grade A Clusterfuck'

'shut up, you're just the data-monkey'

I actually have a small issue with a lot (but definitely not all) of stock phrases, particularly one that keeps popping up at the moment "The squeezed middle". People often use them when they have no actual evidence but have a feeling that something they've felt is endemic of a wider problem. It seems that some portable statements have a kind of power to end a discussion/debate/furious argument which is odd. See also: "Funeral held for common sense..", "Political correctness gone mad" etc.


@Drax - yes, totally, and this winds me up a good deal. There are a few examples (none of which I can think of right now though) that really get under my skin because they're sloppy and misleading.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298915#Comment_298915 2011-06-21T14:31:47-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Osmosis http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=866 @Drax, @Jon "In the current economic climate" springs to mind ...
"In the current economic climate" springs to mind ...]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298922#Comment_298922 2011-06-21T15:00:22-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 256 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4827 "Better, faster, cheaper. Pick two." (apparently this is called the Project Triangle by some people) "The question is: Do we forgive our fathers in our time, or in theirs?" (this ... Better, faster, cheaper. Pick two." (apparently this is called the Project Triangle by some people)
"The question is: Do we forgive our fathers in our time, or in theirs?" (this is, more or less, a quote from the movie Smoke Signals. You'd be surprised how often I say this)]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298931#Comment_298931 2011-06-21T15:39:27-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 razrangel http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2075 @256 I just used the first one a few days ago with someone I don't know very well, and he totally got it. But had to also say - I love Smoke Signals! My go-to line for dealing with things in the ...
But had to also say - I love Smoke Signals! My go-to line for dealing with things in the way we wish they were instead of the way they are is the quote "But Victor, our people were fishermen!"]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298997#Comment_298997 2011-06-21T23:50:20-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 sneak046 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4574 @256/razrangel - reminds me of the saying I used to hear in my days working in a County Council highways depot: there's two ways of doing things, the quick way and the right way Whether or not ...
there's two ways of doing things, the quick way and the right way

Whether or not that's an excuse for slow working I'll leave you to decide.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299051#Comment_299051 2011-06-22T10:54:42-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 razrangel http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2075 @sneak046 Another variation is "There's three ways to do something: The right way, the wrong way and the Army way." My brother told it to me to explain why he had to fly out of ...
In and of itself not quite a portable phrase, however, you can always substitute another proper noun for Army to cover the peculiar methodology that results of navigating circumstances. I once heard someone fill in "the observant Orthodox Jew way" referring to intricate steps they have to take to keep to the daily traditions while still keeping up with modern life. Again, for my purposes I like when it refers to something anyone can at least guess at. It's not quite as satisfying if it's something like "then there's Bob's way" where Bob is an idiot with too much power, ruling his corner of the office, half dozen subordinates and the fax copier with an iron fist.

Mildly surprised no one has mentioned Fight Club. Now that movie (and book, I suppose, though I've never read it) is chock full of portable phrases. Helps that they sound and are delivered somewhat like mantras or yogi-style advice. E.g. You are not the contents of your wallet. But as for the sick joy I get out of inverting portable phrases, it's hard to beat "His name is Robert Paulson."]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299070#Comment_299070 2011-06-22T13:39:44-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 256 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4827 Another one: "The only real crime is getting caught" (army formulation) / "Nothing's illegal as long as you don't get caught" (Travelling Wilbury's formulation) @raz - ...
"The only real crime is getting caught" (army formulation) / "Nothing's illegal as long as you don't get caught" (Travelling Wilbury's formulation)

@raz - Smoke Signals is amazing, and incredibly quotable. I also love "They charged him with attempted murder. Then they plea bargained that down to assault with a deadly weapon. Then they plea bargained that down to being an Indian in the 20th Century." Don't get to slip that into conversation very often, though.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299093#Comment_299093 2011-06-22T15:56:36-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 government spy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6088 Reminds me of something inmates say: The only difference between us and you, is we got caught. At the same time, some guards respond: You're not guilty of the crime; you're guilty of being dumb ... The only difference between us and you, is we got caught.

At the same time, some guards respond: You're not guilty of the crime; you're guilty of being dumb enough to get caught.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299094#Comment_299094 2011-06-22T15:57:30-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 BOODOFFSTAGE http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=914 Do questions count? Is that a new stereotype? Did I just kll premature ejaculation? Also, Exclamations! Awesome Sauce! By the hammer of Thor! Yes, I watch way too much television. ...
Is that a new stereotype?

Did I just kll premature ejaculation?

Also, Exclamations!

Awesome Sauce!

By the hammer of Thor!

Yes, I watch way too much television. Or nowadays, Internet streaming. Um...legally.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299103#Comment_299103 2011-06-22T17:42:11-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Orpheus http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6151 I rarely use portable phrases, really. I mean in the way that i might use them again and again. I came up with a better one earlier this week, which was "Just because a car is broken doesn't ...
I came up with a better one earlier this week, which was "Just because a car is broken doesn't mean that it cant drive."

My favourite one has to be from an episode of House a few series back. "If the toasters not working you check the cable not the power company." (Major paraphrasing)

But generally, i try to use my own words rather than others]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299256#Comment_299256 2011-06-24T04:59:52-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 government spy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6088 From my days of dating a dominatrix: A little pain never hurt anyone. A little pain never hurt anyone.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299259#Comment_299259 2011-06-24T05:08:29-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 city creed http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4530 "That'll happen" An appropriate response to almost any piece of information. Try it today! (blatantly plagiarised from Super Troopers) An appropriate response to almost any piece of information. Try it today!
(blatantly plagiarised from Super Troopers)]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299281#Comment_299281 2011-06-24T08:58:16-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Gordon http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=10275 "Things will change when I'm in charge." Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299289#Comment_299289 2011-06-24T09:19:31-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 BOODOFFSTAGE http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=914 Just heard this one. "Come at me, Bro!"
"Come at me, Bro!"]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299293#Comment_299293 2011-06-24T10:16:15-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Kradlum http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=3664 "Better, faster, cheaper. Pick two." I use "You can have it on time, on spec or on budget, pick 2" "Better, faster, cheaper. Pick two."

I use "You can have it on time, on spec or on budget, pick 2"]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299313#Comment_299313 2011-06-24T12:04:26-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 John Skylar http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=8976 Let's see...most of the things used amongst my friends are inspired by a long history of combining science with danger. So: "If it ain't one thing, it's another." (research: one of ...
So:

"If it ain't one thing, it's another." (research: one of many ingenious ways to completely erode your morale)

"Safety third!" (coming right behind 1. awesome and 2. lazy)]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299317#Comment_299317 2011-06-24T12:48:13-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 longtimelurker http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=7739 yes, I actually say these. shut up. "Envy is ignorance; imitation is suicide." - Emerson "I can't respect anyone who only knows one way to spell a word." - ...
"Envy is ignorance; imitation is suicide." - Emerson

"I can't respect anyone who only knows one way to spell a word." - Twain

"The greatest fault is to be conscious of none." - Carlyle

"At Ease, Disease!" - Slaughter]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299655#Comment_299655 2011-06-28T09:47:41-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 razrangel http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2075 "Gotta catch 'em all." I actually used to watch the Pokemon cartoons. And I was an adult. Ah yes...I welcome your disgust...I wallow in it... Er... Anyway, but I was really baffled by ... obviously a marketing ploy. Continuously evolve the characters so each iteration was a new thingummy to buy. Brilliant. Who ever came up with the idea had better taking his baths in cash or I'll be sorely disappointed with the possibilities of conspicuous consumption.

Anyway, that's my standard response to dead clever marketing that incites people to buy!buy!buy! absolute crap.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299670#Comment_299670 2011-06-28T13:49:39-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 government spy http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6088 "It's the nature of the beast." Seems like whenever I, or someone I'm talking is discussing something unpleasant, it's chalked up to "the nature of the beast."
Seems like whenever I, or someone I'm talking is discussing something unpleasant, it's chalked up to "the nature of the beast."]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299676#Comment_299676 2011-06-28T14:37:26-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Puck http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=792 'Not my first barbecue' to be said knowingly and with no little smugness. I say this a lot.
I say this a lot.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299697#Comment_299697 2011-06-28T20:38:41-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Alan Tyson http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1299 "Get out of my teeth." My roommate and I have started using this in lieu of "jinx!" whenever we speak in stereo or finish each others sentences. That we have developed a phrase ...
My roommate and I have started using this in lieu of "jinx!" whenever we speak in stereo or finish each others sentences. That we have developed a phrase for it should tell you something about how often it happens.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299702#Comment_299702 2011-06-28T22:05:39-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Oxbrow http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=894 "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go." Indiana Jones, patron saint of player characters. Indiana Jones, patron saint of player characters.]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299713#Comment_299713 2011-06-29T04:14:39-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Teaflax http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=8751 From my old friend John Lindqvist (author of "Let the Right One in"), a maxim that has comforted me at many difficult times of life: "It will work out - maybe not for the best, but it ... Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299893#Comment_299893 2011-07-01T00:26:20-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 Labyrinthine http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=5782 Say it with me: There Was Never A Golden Age. Corollary: Shut The Fuck Up, Rousseau. Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299894#Comment_299894 2011-07-01T00:29:10-07:00 2013-05-23T02:09:01-07:00 rough night http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2694 "Look at us, living in the future!"