Whitechapel - Portable Statements Sun, 19 May 2013 20:43:29 -0700 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla 1.1.4 & Feed Publisher Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298824#Comment_298824 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298824#Comment_298824 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:08:25 -0700 razrangel
Examples: freedom isn't free, bros before hos, Jesus saves, power corrupts & absolute power corrupts absolutely, when Clinton lied nobody died, 49% of all statistics are created on the spot [or fill in with another number, of course]

and my own life maxim: it never works out quite the way you were thinking.

Basically, while these are quotes, they get peppered into speech free of their original context because the words in such an order invoke a greater sense tidily captured. They become like idioms but are usually just a little longer and newer than most recognized idioms. And, our culture being what it is, are often used sarcastically.
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Long ago in another lifetime some smart ass friends came up with the phrase "portable statements" to cover the domain of all mottos, idioms, bumper sticker catchphrases and other shibboleth with particular attention to any handy statements they created.

The phrase is, ipso facto, a portable statement which is why I love it so much I've held onto it after letting go of those friendships. (I do miss those guys sometimes; time and tide just sorta happen, you know?) ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298831#Comment_298831 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298831#Comment_298831 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 02:12:47 -0700 Drax
I actually have a small issue with a lot (but definitely not all) of stock phrases, particularly one that keeps popping up at the moment "The squeezed middle". People often use them when they have no actual evidence but have a feeling that something they've felt is endemic of a wider problem. It seems that some portable statements have a kind of power to end a discussion/debate/furious argument which is odd. See also: "Funeral held for common sense..", "Political correctness gone mad" etc. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298840#Comment_298840 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298840#Comment_298840 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 03:10:44 -0700 razrangel I kind of get a perverse kick out of portable statements precisely because they have to be somewhat over simplifications of the issue at hand. They are handy phrases people hide behind because how a person feels about them quickly (and sloppily) defines how they feel about the subject at hand. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298844#Comment_298844 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298844#Comment_298844 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 04:02:50 -0700 sneak046 Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298854#Comment_298854 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298854#Comment_298854 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 06:52:03 -0700 city creed They would seem to fulfill many of the same functions. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298860#Comment_298860 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298860#Comment_298860 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 08:09:23 -0700 Nil
Off the top of my head, a slogan is something created (or adapted) for a specific purpose (to sell an idea / product / person), whereas these statements tend to be dropped in in place of actual thought. Or something. I only just woke up, so I'm not exactly running at full speed yet. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298870#Comment_298870 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298870#Comment_298870 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:00:40 -0700 Internaut
I actually had no idea goat rodeo was a phrase until about a month ago.

Apparently it's a regional thing. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298879#Comment_298879 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298879#Comment_298879 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 11:45:51 -0700 JP Carpenter
Became such a joke at work that we actually had a flattened B&H box we christened the Intranet Design Manual...

'I'm in a brewery where a pissup is not occurring'

'It's just another Grade A Clusterfuck'

'shut up, you're just the data-monkey'

I actually have a small issue with a lot (but definitely not all) of stock phrases, particularly one that keeps popping up at the moment "The squeezed middle". People often use them when they have no actual evidence but have a feeling that something they've felt is endemic of a wider problem. It seems that some portable statements have a kind of power to end a discussion/debate/furious argument which is odd. See also: "Funeral held for common sense..", "Political correctness gone mad" etc.


@Drax - yes, totally, and this winds me up a good deal. There are a few examples (none of which I can think of right now though) that really get under my skin because they're sloppy and misleading. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298915#Comment_298915 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298915#Comment_298915 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 14:31:47 -0700 Osmosis
"In the current economic climate" springs to mind ... ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298922#Comment_298922 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298922#Comment_298922 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 15:00:22 -0700 256 Better, faster, cheaper. Pick two." (apparently this is called the Project Triangle by some people)
"The question is: Do we forgive our fathers in our time, or in theirs?" (this is, more or less, a quote from the movie Smoke Signals. You'd be surprised how often I say this) ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298931#Comment_298931 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298931#Comment_298931 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 15:39:27 -0700 razrangel
But had to also say - I love Smoke Signals! My go-to line for dealing with things in the way we wish they were instead of the way they are is the quote "But Victor, our people were fishermen!" ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298997#Comment_298997 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=298997#Comment_298997 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 23:50:20 -0700 sneak046
there's two ways of doing things, the quick way and the right way

Whether or not that's an excuse for slow working I'll leave you to decide. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299051#Comment_299051 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299051#Comment_299051 Wed, 22 Jun 2011 10:54:42 -0700 razrangel
In and of itself not quite a portable phrase, however, you can always substitute another proper noun for Army to cover the peculiar methodology that results of navigating circumstances. I once heard someone fill in "the observant Orthodox Jew way" referring to intricate steps they have to take to keep to the daily traditions while still keeping up with modern life. Again, for my purposes I like when it refers to something anyone can at least guess at. It's not quite as satisfying if it's something like "then there's Bob's way" where Bob is an idiot with too much power, ruling his corner of the office, half dozen subordinates and the fax copier with an iron fist.

Mildly surprised no one has mentioned Fight Club. Now that movie (and book, I suppose, though I've never read it) is chock full of portable phrases. Helps that they sound and are delivered somewhat like mantras or yogi-style advice. E.g. You are not the contents of your wallet. But as for the sick joy I get out of inverting portable phrases, it's hard to beat "His name is Robert Paulson." ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299070#Comment_299070 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299070#Comment_299070 Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:39:44 -0700 256
"The only real crime is getting caught" (army formulation) / "Nothing's illegal as long as you don't get caught" (Travelling Wilbury's formulation)

@raz - Smoke Signals is amazing, and incredibly quotable. I also love "They charged him with attempted murder. Then they plea bargained that down to assault with a deadly weapon. Then they plea bargained that down to being an Indian in the 20th Century." Don't get to slip that into conversation very often, though. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299093#Comment_299093 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299093#Comment_299093 Wed, 22 Jun 2011 15:56:36 -0700 government spy The only difference between us and you, is we got caught.

At the same time, some guards respond: You're not guilty of the crime; you're guilty of being dumb enough to get caught. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299094#Comment_299094 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299094#Comment_299094 Wed, 22 Jun 2011 15:57:30 -0700 BOODOFFSTAGE
Is that a new stereotype?

Did I just kll premature ejaculation?

Also, Exclamations!

Awesome Sauce!

By the hammer of Thor!

Yes, I watch way too much television. Or nowadays, Internet streaming. Um...legally. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299103#Comment_299103 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299103#Comment_299103 Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:42:11 -0700 Orpheus
I came up with a better one earlier this week, which was "Just because a car is broken doesn't mean that it cant drive."

My favourite one has to be from an episode of House a few series back. "If the toasters not working you check the cable not the power company." (Major paraphrasing)

But generally, i try to use my own words rather than others ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299256#Comment_299256 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299256#Comment_299256 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 04:59:52 -0700 government spy A little pain never hurt anyone. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299259#Comment_299259 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299259#Comment_299259 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 05:08:29 -0700 city creed An appropriate response to almost any piece of information. Try it today!
(blatantly plagiarised from Super Troopers) ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299281#Comment_299281 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299281#Comment_299281 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 08:58:16 -0700 Gordon Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299289#Comment_299289 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299289#Comment_299289 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 09:19:31 -0700 BOODOFFSTAGE
"Come at me, Bro!" ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299293#Comment_299293 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299293#Comment_299293 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 10:16:15 -0700 Kradlum "Better, faster, cheaper. Pick two."

I use "You can have it on time, on spec or on budget, pick 2" ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299313#Comment_299313 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299313#Comment_299313 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 12:04:26 -0700 John Skylar
So:

"If it ain't one thing, it's another." (research: one of many ingenious ways to completely erode your morale)

"Safety third!" (coming right behind 1. awesome and 2. lazy) ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299317#Comment_299317 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299317#Comment_299317 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 12:48:13 -0700 longtimelurker
"Envy is ignorance; imitation is suicide." - Emerson

"I can't respect anyone who only knows one way to spell a word." - Twain

"The greatest fault is to be conscious of none." - Carlyle

"At Ease, Disease!" - Slaughter ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299655#Comment_299655 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299655#Comment_299655 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 09:47:41 -0700 razrangel obviously a marketing ploy. Continuously evolve the characters so each iteration was a new thingummy to buy. Brilliant. Who ever came up with the idea had better taking his baths in cash or I'll be sorely disappointed with the possibilities of conspicuous consumption.

Anyway, that's my standard response to dead clever marketing that incites people to buy!buy!buy! absolute crap. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299670#Comment_299670 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299670#Comment_299670 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 13:49:39 -0700 government spy
Seems like whenever I, or someone I'm talking is discussing something unpleasant, it's chalked up to "the nature of the beast." ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299676#Comment_299676 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299676#Comment_299676 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 14:37:26 -0700 Puck
I say this a lot. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299697#Comment_299697 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299697#Comment_299697 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 20:38:41 -0700 Alan Tyson
My roommate and I have started using this in lieu of "jinx!" whenever we speak in stereo or finish each others sentences. That we have developed a phrase for it should tell you something about how often it happens. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299702#Comment_299702 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299702#Comment_299702 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 22:05:39 -0700 Oxbrow Indiana Jones, patron saint of player characters. ]]> Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299713#Comment_299713 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299713#Comment_299713 Wed, 29 Jun 2011 04:14:39 -0700 Teaflax Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299893#Comment_299893 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299893#Comment_299893 Fri, 01 Jul 2011 00:26:20 -0700 Labyrinthine Portable Statements http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299894#Comment_299894 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=9967&Focus=299894#Comment_299894 Fri, 01 Jul 2011 00:29:10 -0700 rough night