@Alan Tyson: I kinda think it's a put-on, but I don't wanna fact-check it. I like to ride the ambiguity.
And on an unrelated note... I don't recall if I found this on Whitechapel. What terrifies me is that this is someone's uncle. And he probably tells these stories at Thanksgiving. (You see what I did there?) The Vagina Song
re: Manatees - how the HELL have those things not gone extinct yet? Nothing that durpy should be able to survive sharing an environment with Jaws, Cthulhu, and Kevin Costner.
re: OK button - I need that on my desktop. Or maybe just implanted in my chest.